Ah, Father’s day! The smell of pig-skin, power tools and sawdust wafts through the air mixed with the beaded Dad-sweat of uncertainty. What shall the “gift” be this year? Should I practice smiling in the mirror? Will I need shots or is their a pleasant surprise waiting for me today?
Here are some things Dad may want to ponder, just to be prepared.
10 Worst Gifts
Number 10: Socks.
Number 9 A paisley tie.
Number 8 A papier-mâché ashtray made up of forged absentee notes.
Number 7 Borrowing dad’s car to get the gift … a coupon from Brian’s dent and
fender repair shop
Number 6 Dollar store aftershave that seems to attract raccoons.
Number 5 A raccoon named “frothy”.
Number 4 Second hand bowling shoes with the name “Bubba” stenciled on.
Number 3 A mug saying “World’s 2nd Best Dad!”
Number 2 Waking up to a gift wrapped carpenter ant farm
– in a broken case.
The number one worst gift for dad from his teenager:
A certificate saying “Worlds’ Greatest Dad” – stuck in your printer.
10 Best Gifts
Number 10 Spending time with dad
(lying in front of the TV with headphones on while texting doesn’t count)
Number 9 Acting Happy for a day – 24 hours mood-free!
Number 8 Two words – Cordless Power Tools
Number 7 Sit and have a conversation with Dad
that doesn’t start with “I need” or “I broke”.
Number 6 Having friends over who aren’t named for their felonies.
Number 5 Hugs all day long – (even when it gets annoying).
Number 4 A promise to be home on time for a month… no, seriously.
Number 3 Breakfast together.
Number 2 A can of ant spray (see worst gift #2)
The number one best gift for dad from his teenager:
Anything they make for you.
Some food, a card, a song and its always perfect!
Active Listening with a Millennial and a Gen Ex-er
Here is a recipe to completely turn around the next year in communication between your teen and yourself:
The Challenge: You know what your teenager is going to say. Your teenager knows what you are going to say. Before anyone says anything both sides are ready for the post-yelling repercussions.
Here’s a Father’s day suggestion: Pretend!
Pretend you have no idea what the other is going to say.
One person is the listener and the other the speaker for 5 minutes, then switch roles. The listener asks one of the following questions:
Why are you here?
What makes you happy?
What would you like to see changed in the world?
Here’s the tricky part, the listener should do the following;
Do not comment or add to the listener’s story, do not give any verbal cues (mmm, ah, oh!) and don’t give any visual cues. Simply take in the speaker with love and acceptance.
Each speaker gets approximately 5 minutes to speak.
Please email me and let me know how it worked. firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Father’s day to all the dads, all the teenagers and the Moms who put up with them!
Thanks to all the people who inspired this list!