One Year After Mentoring: From Anger to Communication

Introduction: Navigating the rocky waters of young adulthood can be a major challenge, especially for those dealing with anger issues. It is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and often, the guiding hand of a mentor. We want to share this story with you. The journey of Matthew. A young adult who had been overwhelmed by anger. Matthew would go on to discover true self-awareness and emotional maturity through our mentoring program at Mentoring Young Adults.com.

Communication in The Early Days

Our journey began one year ago with Matthew. Matthew was often engulfed in persistent bouts of anger. Frustrations and outbursts were frequent friends in his day-to-day life, making it close to impossible to maintain any healthy relationship. With his parents Victoria and Berty, he tried out our mentoring program and after his first session, decided to give it a try. A great step in his movement towards learning to communicate conflict-free.

Building Trust and Communication:

The cornerstone of any successful mentoring relationship is trust and open communication. In the initial stages, building this trust was the key. It involved active listening, validation of Matthew’s feelings, and a commitment to support without judgment. This foundation of trust enabled Matthew to openly express his emotions and challenges, setting the stage for meaningful progress.

Encouraging Positive Coping Strategies:

As the mentoring progressed, the focus shifted to developing positive coping strategies. Through the guidance of Jason, Matthew explored various techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness, and physical activities. Taking ‘time-out’s” when things felt overwhelming helped immensely. These strategies were not just theoretical concepts but were actively modeled by Jason, demonstrating their effectiveness in real-life scenarios.

Setting and Achieving Realistic Goals:


An integral part of the mentoring process was goal-setting. Together, Matthew and Jason identified achievable goals such as mastering a new skill, fostering healthy relationships, and engaging in hobbies. Each achieved goal was a cause for celebration, reinforcing the young adult’s belief in his ability to overcome challenges and progress.

The Transformation After One Year:

Fast forward to one year later, the changes were remarkable. This young adult who had been once besieged by anger had now developed a toolbox of strategies to manage his emotions effectively. Matthew learned the art of self-regulation, the importance of setting boundaries, and the power of positive self-speak. His relationships improved, and he found himself more in tune with his emotions and how to express them constructively.

Conclusion:

Matthew’s journey is a testament to the transformative power of mentoring. It shows us the importance of patience, personalized strategies, and the unwavering support of a mentor. As we reflect on this one-year journey, it becomes evident that with the right guidance, even those who struggle with anger can find their personal power and personal growth. This is our goal at Mentoring Young Adults.com

Young Adults with ADD: 3 Tips for Parents

Here are three tips to try at home based on our work mentoring young adults with ADHD we want to offer you to try.

1. Create a structured routine for ADD

Young adults with ADHD often struggle with time management and organization. Creating a structured routine can help your child manage their time more effectively and reduce their stress levels. Additionally, work with your child to co-create a daily schedule. Make sure to include specific times for activities such as studying, exercising, and socializing. Also, encourage your child to stick to the schedule as much as possible and provide positive reinforcement when they do. Avoid negative reinforcement when they don’t.

2. Break down tasks into smaller steps

Large tasks can be overwhelming for young adults with ADHD. Breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can help your child stay focused and motivated. Encourage your child to create a to-do list for each day and break down each task into smaller steps. For example, instead of studying for three hours straight, your child could break their study session into three 1-hour sessions with breaks in between. Celebrate your child’s progress and provide positive feedback to help them stay motivated.

3. Create a positive and supportive environment beyond ADD

Young adults with ADHD often struggle with low self-esteem and negative self-speak. Creating a positive and supportive environment at home can help your child build their self-confidence and feel more optimistic about their future. Encourage your child to focus on their achievements, no matter how small. Avoid criticizing or punishing your child for their mistakes and instead provide constructive feedback and support.

In conclusion, raising a young adult with ADHD can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help your child succeed. While trying these tips at home can be beneficial, it’s important to consider seeking the help of a mentor who specializes in working with young adults with ADHD. Our mentoring program provides your child with personalized strategies and support to help them overcome their challenges and achieve their goals. Remember to be patient and understanding with your child, and seek out support from a mentor when they are ready. With the right strategies and support, your child can rise above their ADHD challenges and reach their full potential.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Interested in becoming a mentor?

Young Adults on the Spectrum: One Year Later

As the parent of an adult child on the autism spectrum, you may be wondering about the benefits of mentoring for your child’s growth and development. Mentoring Young Adults understands the special challenges and rewards of working with autistic youth. Based on our experiences, this article will share what you can expect after one year of mentoring.

1. Improved Social Skills

One the many goals of mentoring autistic youth is helping them mature socially. Each of the following areas will have increased greatly in one year: communication skills, capacity to establish friends, and confidence in social situations. To help young adults develop crucial social skills, we employ a variety of methods beginning with listening judgement-free. Together, we play out difficult scenarios such as phone calls or in person communication. The will have learned to deal with conflict in a calm manner, listening and being heard. Employing the use of taking a moment to gather their thoughs when needed. Additionally we model best-practice behaviour, while promoting participation in virtual situations that progress to “real world” situations.

2. Enhanced Independence and Life Skills

Our mentoring program promotes independence by teaching young adults on the spectrum essential life skills such as organizing, cleaning, and time management. After a year of mentoring, your child will start to see the benefits in ways the speak to them. Additionally, they will demonstrate an increased confidence and skill in performing these tasks on their own. The focus on skill-building and problem-solving during mentoring sessions are a key focus of our mentoring work. This helps young adults gain the practical abilities necessary for long-term success and self-empowerment.

3. Better Emotional Regulation and Coping Strategies

Our mentors also focus on helping young adults on the spectrum develop emotional regulation and coping strategies. After one year of mentoring, you can expect to see improvements in your child’s ability to manage stress, express emotions appropriately, and self-regulate in challenging situations. Our mentors work closely with our mentees to identify triggers, develop personalized coping strategies, and encourage self-reflection and mindfulness.

4. Strengthened Parent-Child Relationship

Although the mentee is the primary target of mentoring, the whole family can reap the rewards. We use “Parent Time” to assist parents enhance their own skill sets so they can better communicate with and support their children as they grow and develop. After a year of mentoring, you and your child will have a stronger bond and more open lines of communication. Our “Parent Support” program is designed to assist parents better understand their child’s perspective on life on all fronts, provide them with new tools to help their child succeed, and ultimately fortify and enrich the parent-child relationship.

5. Personal Growth and Increased Self-Esteem

After one year of mentoring, our mentees experience personal growth and increased self-esteem. By addressing their unique challenges and building on their strengths, mentoring helps young adults develop a more positive self-image and gain confidence in their abilities. As your child begins to see their progress and achievements, their sense of self-worth and motivation to continue growing will just keep growing.

After one year of mentoring at Mentoring Young Adults, you will experience meaningful progress in your child’s social skills, independence, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. While each young adult on the spectrum is different, our personalized mentoring method creates a significant impact in helping them reach their full potential. As a parent, being part of our mentoring team for your child’s growth and development through mentoring is both rewarding and encouraging. By investing in our mentoring program, you are offering your child the support and resources they need to thrive and soar in their hero’s journey towards independence and self-fulfillment.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Interested in learning to become a mentor for young adults?

3 Proven Mentoring Tips for Parents to Help Their Child on the Spectrum Reach Their Potential

Parenting an autistic adolescent or young adult comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. Although every autistic young adult is unique, there are effective ways to guide them as they transition into adulthood. Here, drawing on our work with MentoringYoungAdults.com, we’ll discuss three suggestions for parents to try at home.

Tip 1: Establish Routines and Clear Expectations

Young adults on the spectrum often do best in structured environments with predictable routines. Developing a routine provides young adults a sense of routine and security. That is the first step:. Here’s how to start:

  1. Create a routine that takes into account your child’s preferences, interests, and abilities through teamwork with your child.
  2. Don’t make excuses; Try to be as consistent as possible with the regimen, but be willing to make adjustments as needed. Give them plenty of notice and comfort when changes are inevitable to reduce their anxiety.
  3. Establish unambiguous guidelines: Whenever possible, give your child step-by-step instructions and be clear about what you expect from them.

Tip 2: Foster Social Skills Development

Young adults on the spectrum often struggle with social skills despite their importance for promoting autonomy and well-being. Here are some strategies for encouraging their progress in social competence:

  1. Role-playing is a great way to hone their social skills by simulating real-life interactions like ordering food, making small chat, and settling problems. Respond to their questions and concerns while offering suggestions as required.
  2. Encourage them to consider participating in clubs or groups that reflect their interests, such an art club, a sports team, or a tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG). This helps give young adults a risk-free opportunity to hone their interpersonal skills.
  3. Model for them how to respond in social situations by demonstrating how to respond calmly in situations by practicing speaking politely, showing empathy, and keeping a level head when addressing opposing viewpoints. Don’t take it personally if they seem emotionally distant.

Tip 3: Promote Independence Through Skill-Building

Helping your child develop practical skills is crucial for their long-term independence and success. Focus on:

  1. Daily living skills: Teach them how to perform tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Start with simple tasks and gradually increase complexity as they gain confidence.
  2. Time management and organization: Use visual aids, such as calendars or to-do lists, to help your teen learn to manage their time and stay organized.
  3. Problem-solving: Encourage your child to think critically and solve problems independently. Offer guidance when needed but allow them the opportunity to develop their own solutions.

As a parent, you are always seeking out support and resources your child requires to thrive as they mature and evolve. Employing these mentoring techniques, will build on their safe zones, enabling your child to reach their full potential. Bear in mind, patience and trying to come from how they perceive every issue is crucial, and each new milestone reached deserves acknowledgement.

I know you will try your best to implement these tips we have shared with you but don’t be surprised if they don’t bear out all the success they should proved. The reason people seek us out to do the mentoring work with a child on the spectrm is that often the best work is done with your collaborating with an outside mentor. We provide an unbiased outlook along with years of experience with young adults on the spectrum, empowering your child to form new life skills and grow their confidence on every aspect of their life. As parents, mentor and mentee, working as a team we will empower your child to become their best self and build the new mentoring skills we teach you to work on at home, reinformcing even more growth and development for your child.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

4 Tips to Convince a Young Adult with Autism on Trying Our Mentoring Program

So many parents of young adults with autism spend a great deal of their time seeking resources to help their child succeed our in the world. Mentoring can be a powerful tool to unlock your child’s potential and provide them with the guidance and support they need. An experienced mentor offers emotional support, guidance, and practical skills that help young adults with autism navigate unique challenges, such as developing social skills, building self-esteem, managing school life, improving communication, coping with sensory overload, and finding the right career path. In this article, we’ll provide tips on how to convince your child to try our mentoring program and explore the many benefits of mentoring for young adults with autism.

Remember to ask their opinion about trying mentoring. “I found a place with a lot of experience mentoring young adults. They are there to help you with whatever you feel you want to work on. What do you think?”

  1. Highlight the benefits of mentoring: 
    Discuss the benefits that our mentors provide, such as improved social skills, enhanced self-esteem, and dealing with school or work challenges. Explain to your child our mentors are experienced with working with young adults on the spectrum. We offer guidance, advice, and emotional support, which can help your child navigate the challenges of dealing with a neurotypical world.
  2. Emphasize the flexibility of the program: 
    Explain that our mentoring programs is flexible and is tailored to meet your child’s individual needs and preferences. They are conducted virtually, allowing your child to remain in ‘their own space” and will be scheduled at a time that works best for your child.
  3. Highlight the mentor’s expertise: 
    Discuss our mentor’s skills and experience, and how they can provide valuable guidance and support to your child. Emphasize that the mentor is there to help your child overcome their challenges and achieve their goals.
  4. Empower your child in the decision:
    It’s essential to involve your child in the decision-making process and get their input on whether they are interested in participating in a mentoring program. Discuss their concerns and answer any questions they may have. It’s crucial to ensure that they feel comfortable about trying out mentoring and that they have the power to decide if they wish to continue.

Our mentoring program can be a valuable tool for young adults with autism to reach their full potential. By highlighting the benefits, focusing on their interests, emphasizing the flexibility of the program, and involving your child in the decision-making process, you can help convince them to try our mentoring program.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Expert Tips for Parents Wanting to Mentor a Young Adult Struggling with Anger Issues”

Parenting a child with anger issues can be a real struggle. The outbursts are never easy to deal with, and understanding why your child is struggling with anger and how to help them manage their emotions effectively can feel like a daunting task. But there’s hope. Mentoring has been found to be an effective tool for supporting your child in developing the skills they need to manage their anger and lead a healthy, productive life, according to Mentoring Young Adults.

Here are three expert tips from our mentors for mentoring your child with anger issues:

  1. Building Trust and Communication is Key 
    Establishing trust and open communication is the foundation of any successful mentoring relationship. Building trust with your child may be challenging, but it’s essential before you can support them effectively. Start by listening to your child without judgment, validate their feelings, and assure them of your commitment to help them manage their anger.
  2. Encourage Positive Coping Strategies 
    Positive coping strategies are effective in managing anger. Encourage your child to explore different ways of coping with their emotions, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or physical activity. Modeling positive coping strategies by practicing them yourself and sharing your experiences with your child can also be helpful.
  3. Help Your Child Set Realistic Goals 
    Motivate your child by helping them set realistic goals. Work with them to identify achievable goals such as learning a new skill, developing healthy relationships, or pursuing a hobby. Celebrate their successes and encourage them to keep moving forward.

Remember, seeking out an outside mentor can be extremely beneficial for both the parent and the child. At MentoringYoungAdults.com, we have a team of experienced mentors who provide a supportive and non-judgmental environment for young adults struggling with anger issues. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if necessary, as it can make a significant difference in your child’s overall well-being.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

How One Year of Mentoring Transforms a Young Adult’s Communication Challenges.

It can be difficult to know where to look for help when your child has uniquel communication challenges. To help young adults overcome challenges in their lives, such as barriers to good communication, MentoringYoungAdults.com was founded.

MentoringYoungAdults.com’s primary goal is to connect young people (ages 14-28) with adult mentors through individualized mentoring relationships. They empower young adults with life-changing skills by tackling issues such as anxiety, failure to launch, difficulties in school and the workplace, and difficulties with communication.

Our first step is to conduct a thorough evaluation of your child’s requirements and objectives. This will help the us choose the right mentor for your child. Online meetings once or twice a week give an encouraging setting in which to overcome communication issues and other life challenges.

Here’s what you can expect after one year of mentoring:

  1. Your child’s self-esteem will grow significantly as they learn to overcome challenges, which will in turn make it easier for them to communicate and form healthy relationships.
  2. Learning to listen is essential. Our mentees drastically improve their listening, processing, and response skills by using the tools they learn at MentoringYoungAdults.com.
  3. Advances in articulation, vocabulary, and tone, as well as other aspects of verbal and nonverbal communication. Body language, facial gestures, and eye contact will all feel natural and will be skills they use easily and naturally.
  4. Your child’s social life will benefit greatly from their increased comfort and ability to communicate with others.
  5. Resolving conflicts: Learning to hear and be heard, free of conflict, makes it easier to resolve conflicts and find win-win solutions.
  6. Independence: Your child will be more prepared for the challenges of life as their communication skills blossom and develop.

For young adults who are having trouble communicating, the year-long mentoring adventure with MentoringYoungAdults.com makes an enormous impact. Communication skills, self-confidence, and the ability to function independently can all be developed with the help of individualized mentoring in a nurturing setting. MentoringYoungAdults.com is an excellent way to make a long-lasting, positive difference in the lives of your child. Join us in our mentoring journey and witness the transformation.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Mentoring Your Child with Communication Challenges: 3 Expert Tips From Our Mentors

Effective communication is so important for success in almost every aspect of life. Many young adults these days have trouble communicating effectively in so many parts of their lives. It can be so frustrating to yourself struggling with communication issues as a parent. Mentoring can be a powerful tool to help build your child’s communication skills. Here are three tips from our professional mentors from MentoringYoungAdults.com to help help you help your child rise above communication issues. 

Tip #1: Encourage Active Listening

Active listening is a powerful tool towards building effective communication. Most young adults with communication issues have rarely, if ever, practiced this skill. As a mentor, it’s important to show a young adult the art of active listening. To truly listen, the listener must empathize and validate the speaker, free of judgment or justification. Practicing these skills in the proper manner with yourself or your child, switching who is the speaker and who is the listener will develop these skills over time. This will instill more natural and intuitive communication skills in challenging situations between yourself and your child, leading to improved communication with others.

Tip #2: Practice Communication through Emails

Writing emails can be an excellent way for young adults with communication issues to practice putting their thoughts and ideas into words. As mentors, we encourage your child to write emails to family members, friends, or even fictional characters. We begin with figuring out what we want to say to the reader, what is our goal, and the best way to say it. This exercise will help your child develop their writing skills, as well as practice expressing themselves in a structured and clear manner. Encourage your child to think about their audience and what they want to communicate before they begin writing. With practice, your child will become more confident in their ability to communicate effectively through writing, which can slowly be transferred into improved verbal communication skills by the same process.

Tip #3: Model Positive Communication

As mentors, it is essential we model positive communication behaviors with our mentees, the same applies for you and your child. This means using clear and concise language, maintaining a calm and respectful tone, and avoiding negative language or behaviors. When you communicate with your child, be sure to give them your full attention and respond in a way that shows you understand and value their perspective. Over time, your child will learn to model these positive communication behaviors themselves, leading to improved communication and better relationships with others.

Mentoring can be a valuable tool for helping children with communication issues improve their skills and overcome barriers. By encouraging active listening, practicing communication through emails, and modeling positive communication behaviors, parents can support their children’s growth in this area. However, it’s worth noting that sometimes the best way for a child to receive mentoring is from someone outside the family, such as a professional mentor from MentoringYoungAdults.com. Our mentors have the training and experience to provide tailored guidance and support to help young adults with communication issues reach their full potential. Whether it’s through a professional mentor or a supportive family member, the important thing is to provide the resources and encouragement necessary to help your child succeed.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

A Parent’s Guide to Persuading a Young Adult with Communication Issues to Try Mentoring

Watching a young adult struggle with communication issues can be heartbreaking, especially when it’s combined with anxiety. However, there is a solution that has shown great promise: mentoring. Mentoring is a powerful tool for helping young adults develop the skills they need to succeed in life, especially those who may be struggling with communication issues. In this article, we’ll explore how mentoring can help, and how to convince a child with communication issues to give it a try.

Communication Struggles and Anxiety

Young adults who frequently experience communication challenges may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated in social situations. They may find it hard to express themselves, share their thoughts, and connect with others. This can lead to low self-esteem, isolation, and other mental health issues, including anxiety.

Mentoring Can Help

Mentoring is a great way to help young adults build critical communication skills. A qualified mentor provides a safe and supportive environment where the mentee can practice their communication skills. The mentor offers feedback, guidance, and tips on how to develop communication skills. By working with a mentor, the mentee gains confidence, learns to express themselves more effectively, and ultimately feels more at ease in social situations.

Building Critical Life Skills

Mentoring helps young adults develop a wide range of other important life skills, including problem-solving, time management, and goal setting. Mentors offer a fresh perspective on life’s challenges and opportunities, enabling the mentee to gain a sense of purpose and direction. Additionally, mentors provide guidance and support, helping young adults develop their sense of responsibility and accountability.

Persuading a Young Adult to Try Mentoring

If you want to encourage a young adult to give mentoring a chance, you must be sensitive to their communication challenges. Here are some tips:

  1. Listen: Take the time to listen to their apprehensions and difficulties with communication. Let them know that you are there to support them by genuinely listening to them.
  2. Explain Mentoring: Explain what mentoring is and how it can help them. Highlight the supportive and non-judgmental nature of mentoring.
  3. Choose a Good Mentor: Help them find a mentor who is patient, empathetic, and willing to listen. A mentor whose area of expertise is mentoring young adults. The mentor should be someone who understands the challenges of communication and is willing to work with the mentee at their own pace.
  4. Encourage Trying a Session: Encourage them to try just one session or one month of sessions (one hour each time online) to see if it might be worthwhile.
  5. Be Patient: Be patient with their progress. Communication struggles are challenging, but with the right support, they can overcome them.

Mentoring is a powerful tool for helping young adults who are struggling with communication challenges. By providing a supportive and safe environment for practice, mentoring helps young adults develop their confidence and enhance their communication skills. When attempting to persuade your child to try mentoring, take the time to listen to their concerns, assist them in finding a suitable mentor, and be patient with their progress. With the proper support, they can overcome their communication hurdles and soar!

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Helping Your Child to Overcome School Failures:  3 Mentoring Tips for Parents to Try at Home

As parents, it can be difficult to see our children struggle with school failures. We want to do everything we can to support them, but it’s not always clear what we should be doing. Fortunately, mentoring can be a powerful tool for helping young adults overcome school failures and achieve their academic goals.

Here are three mentoring tips for parents to help their children overcome school failures:

  1. Listen and Validate

The first step in effective mentoring is to listen to your child’s concerns and validate their feelings. It can be tempting to jump in with solutions, but often what your child needs most is simply to be heard. Let them know that you want to understand how they’re feeling and that you are there to support them.

By validating their feelings, you are creating a safe space for your child to share their struggles without fear of judgment or criticism. This can be incredibly empowering and can help your child feel more confident in their ability to overcome their challenges.

  1. Encourage Growth Mindset

One of the most important things we do as mentors is to encourage a growth mindset in a young adult. This means helping them see that failure is not a reflection of their intelligence or abilities, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow. An opportunity to start again and again, free of judgment.

Encourage your child to view challenges as opportunities to develop new skills and to see mistakes as stepping stones to success. When they encounter setbacks, help them identify what they can learn from the experience and how they can use that knowledge to improve in the future.

  1. Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Progress

Finally, it’s important to set realistic goals with your child and to celebrate their progress along the way. This can help them stay motivated and focused, even when they encounter setbacks.

Work with your child to set achievable goals that are aligned with their interests and strengths. Break larger goals down into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate each milestone along the way. This will help your child stay motivated and feel a sense of accomplishment as they work towards their goals.

Mentoring can be a powerful tool for helping young adults overcome school failures and achieve their academic goals. By listening and validating their concerns, encouraging a growth mindset, and setting realistic goals, parents can help their children develop the resilience and confidence they need to succeed. For more information on mentoring young adults, visit www.mentoringyoungadults.com.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

From School Failure to Success: What One Year of Mentoring Can Create

Picture this: a student who has been grappling with school failures for years suddenly undergoes a remarkable transformation after just one year of mentoring. They go from barely scraping through their classes to soaring in every subject, and their teachers are astonished by their progress. The student becomes more involved in their studies, actively participating in class discussions and posing thought-provoking questions.

Not only that, but the student also discovers new talents and interests that they never knew existed. They join a robotics club and find a passion for programming or start writing poetry and go to poetry slams, sharing their art with other like-minded people. As they realize their potential, their self-confidence builds and builds, and they experience the fact that they are capable of achieving incredible things.

The parents are bewildered and elated by the progress their child has made. They could never have imagined that their child could accomplish so much in just one year. They envision a bright future for their child, filled with endless possibilities and triumphs.

However, the benefits of mentoring go beyond academic and personal growth. The student also develops vital life skills, such as leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving, which will be valuable in college and their future career. They create robust relationships with their mentor and other mentors from the program, creating a support network that they can depend on.

In short, after just one year of mentoring, the student has transformed into a confident, capable, and successful young adult. They have discovered new passions and interests, developed important life skills, and built strong relationships with their mentors and peers. The parents are astonished by the progress their child has made and are eager to witness what the future holds.

The incredible transformation of a struggling student into a successful young adult is possible with the guidance of a mentor. Mentoring can provide students with the guidance, support, and skills they need to overcome school failures, explore their passions, and achieve their dreams. At MentoringYoungAdults.com, our program is designed to help students master organization, time management, communication, self-advocacy, and other critical skills that can pave the way for success in college, work and beyond. With the help of a mentor, students can unlock their full potential and create a brilliant future for themselves. If you’re a parent searching for ways to help your child overcome school failures and accomplish their goals, consider the power of mentoring.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Effective Strategies for Encouraging a Young Adult with Anger Issues to Try Mentoring”

As a parent, it can be incredibly overwhelming and distressing to witness your child grappling with uncontrollable rage and feeling unheard. One potential solution to help your child manage their emotions and feel validated is through the practice of mentoring. However, convincing a child who is struggling with intense anger to engage in mentoring can seem like an insurmountable challenge. Luckily, there are a few strategies you can employ to help convince your child to give mentoring a chance:

  1. Start by empathizing with your child and validating their feelings. Make sure your child understands that you acknowledge how they feel and that you are invested in helping them find a positive way to deal with their emotions.
  2. Outline the benefits of mentoring for managing anger. Emphasize how mentoring can provide a safe, supportive space for your child to express themselves and learn effective coping mechanisms.
  3. Allow your child to choose their own mentor so that they feel more invested in the process. Encourage them to seek out someone who they feel comfortable confiding in and who shares their interests.
  4. Make sure to be supportive of your child throughout the mentoring process. Keep in contact with their mentor through emails and attend parent support sessions with their mentor and check in with your child regularly to see how they feel about the process. Celebrate the small victories as well as the large ones and encourage them to keep pushing forward.
  5. Finally, set achievable goals for your child and their mentor. Start small, such as meeting once a week for a month or focusing on creating new skill. By setting realistic expectations, your child will feel less overwhelmed and more confident in their ability to manage their anger.

Mentoring can be a valuable tool for young adults who are struggling with intense anger and feeling unheard. By empathizing with your child, discussing the benefits of mentoring, allowing them to choose their own mentor, being supportive, and setting achievable goals, you can help convince them to give mentoring a try and equip them with the necessary tools to manage their emotions. Remember to be patient and understanding, as the mentoring process requires time and effort to be effective.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

Empowering Your Child’s Academic Success: 4 Tips to Encourage Your Child to Try Mentoring 

As a parent, you understand the importance of academic success for your child’s future. However, when your child struggles with school, it can be frustrating and disheartening. Poor grades, time management issues, and a feeling of being unsupported can all contribute to a negative outlook on their abilities to succeed in all aspects of their life. But don’t worry, there is hope!

MentoringYoungAdults.com provides the guidance and support that your child needs to overcome these obstacles and achieve their full potential. In this article, we’ll discuss how mentoring can help your child master time management, communication and advocacy skills and provide tips to help them to consider trying our mentoring program.

Effective time management is crucial for academic success. Balancing schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and personal commitments can be overwhelming for many students. Our mentors help your child find the best way that works for them to use our tools to slowly master prioritization, goal setting, and scheduling, empowering them to manage their time effectively. Our Mentors provide accountability and support in a judgement-free environment to help keep our mentees on track and prevent them from falling behind. But when things go off track, our skills on how to pierce the target, start once more, free of judgment, makes all the difference to a long and successful career.

In addition to time management, communication is an important skill that our mentors will help your child develop. When students struggle in school, they may not know how to seek out the resources and support they need. Our Mentors will find the ideal way forward for your child to learn how to communicate effectively with teachers, counselors, and other school staff, and with our help, identify and utilize support systems both inside and outside of school.

If you’re wondering how to convince your child to try our mentoring program, here are a few tips:

  1. Be supportive and encouraging: Let your child know that you believe in them and that you want to help them succeed. Explain that mentoring is a positive step towards achieving their goals. It does not involve talk therapy. Mentoring is about working on whatever they feel then want to work on.
  2. Highlight the benefits: Explain how mentoring is a different approach and how mentoring can help them develop valuable skills that will benefit them not just in school, but also in other areas of their life.
  3. Address concerns: If your child is hesitant about trying the program, listen to their concerns and reassure them that the program can be tailored to their needs.
    If they are worried about the time commitment, let them know that the program can be tailored to their schedule.
  4. Involve your child in the decision-making process: Give your child a say in whether or not they want to try our mentoring program. By involving them in the decision-making process, they’ll feel more engaged and invested in the program.
    If they are still reticent, suggest they try just one hour (it’s online, no need to go anywhere) and they can let you know if they want to try it for a few more weeks.

Our mentoring program has been a game-changer for students struggling in school and in life. By mastering time management, communication and advocacy skills, your child will overcome academic challenges and achieve success in all areas of their lives. Use these tips to convince your child to try MentoringYoungAdults.com, and watch them flourish both academically and personally.

Schedule a Free 15 minute Consult to See How Our Mentoring Program Can Help Your Child.

From Failure to Success: What to Expect After One Year of Mentoring for Young Adults with Failure to Launch

Here are some outcomes you can expect to see after one year of mentoring young adults with failure to launch from our mentoring program:

  1. Increased motivation and focus: Mentoring helps young adults clarify their goals and develop a sense of purpose, increasing their motivation and focus in all areas of life.
  2. Improved academic or job performance: With increased motivation and focus, young adults see improvements in their academic and/or job performance. They will be more engaged in their endeavors, leading to better grades or success at work.
  3. Greater independence: One of the key goals of mentoring is to help young adults become more independent. After one year, you can expect to see your child taking more responsibility for their own life and making decisions with more confidence.
  4. Stronger social skills: Many young adults with a failure to launch struggle with social skills. Our mentoring program empowers young adults to improve their communication and interpersonal skills, leading to stronger relationships and a more fulfilling social life.
  5. Improved mental health: Failure to launch can often be accompanied by mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. Our mentors provides our mentees with emotional support and guidance, leading to improved mental health and well-being.

Overall, mentoring can be a powerful tool for helping young adults overcome their failure to launch and achieve success in all areas of life. With increased motivation, focus, independence, social skills, and mental health, they will go on to lead a fulfilling and successful life.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

3 Tips for Parents to Help Overcome ‘Failure to Launch

If your child is experiencing a “failure to launch,” it may feel like an uphill battle to help them get on the right track. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to support your child as they work towards independence. In this article, we will explore three tips for parents to help their child build micro-successes based on Ken Rabow’s mentoring work at MentoringYoungAdults.com.

  1. Set Small, Achievable Goals

When your child is struggling to launch, it can be overwhelming to think about all the things they need to accomplish in order to become independent. To help them build momentum and gain confidence, it’s important to set small, achievable goals. Encourage your child to identify one or two things they can work on each week. These goals might be as simple as cleaning their room or volunteering at a local organization. The key is to help your child focus on the things they can control and build momentum over time.

2. Celebrate Micro-Successes

As your child works towards independence, it’s important to celebrate their successes along the way. These successes don’t have to be big milestones like landing a job or moving out on their own. Instead, focus on the micro-successes that your child achieves each week. These might include waking up at a reasonable time, writing a resume, or working on a personal habit. By celebrating these small successes, you can help your child build confidence and stay motivated as they work towards their bigger goals.

3. Help Your Child Develop Resilience

Building resilience is an important step in helping your child overcome a “failure to launch.” Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and cope with challenges. Help your child develop resilience by encouraging them to take risks and learn from their failures, judgement-free. When your child faces a setback or experiences a failure, remind them that it’s a natural part of the learning process and an opportunity to grow. Encourage them to reflect on what they’ve learned and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future. By helping your child develop resilience, you can equip them with the tools they need to overcome challenges and build a successful future

One of the most effective ways to help your child overcome a “failure to launch” is to encourage them to seek out a mentor. Our mentors provide your child with guidance, support, and a sounding board for their ideas and goals. We also help your child build the skills they need to succeed in the adult world.

In conclusion, helping a child overcome a “failure to launch” can be a challenging journey. By encouraging your child to seek out a mentor, setting small, achievable goals, and celebrating their micro-successes, you can provide the support they need to succeed. . With the right support and guidance, your child will build the skills they need to launch successfully into adulthood.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Encouraging a Young Adult to Try Mentoring for Failure to Launch: A Guide for Parents

As a parent, it can be difficult to watch your child struggle with failure to launch. It’s a challenging situation that requires careful navigation and support. One approach that has shown to be effective in supporting children in this situation is mentoring.

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced person (mentor) offers guidance, support, and advice to a less experienced person (the mentee). It’s an opportunity for the mentee to learn from someone who has already navigated the challenges they are facing. Mentoring can be an excellent way to help your child build confidence and find their path forward.

If you’re considering mentoring for your child, it’s important to approach the conversation in a supportive and non-judgmental way. Here are some things you might consider saying:

  1. “I know you’re going through a tough time right now, and I want to help. Have you considered working with a mentor to help guide you through this transition?”

This statement acknowledges that your child is going through a tough time, while also offering a solution to help them navigate it. It’s important to approach the conversation in a supportive and caring manner to help your child feel comfortable with the idea of mentoring.

  1. “A mentor helps young adults grow through micro-successes, which can be incredibly valuable in overcoming the challenges they’re facing.”

This statement highlights the benefits of mentoring, specifically how a mentor can help your child build small successes that can lead to bigger successes. It’s important to emphasize that these small wins can be incredibly powerful in building confidence and momentum.

  1. “Working with a mentor doesn’t mean you can’t do it on your own. It just means you’re open to learning and growing, which is a sign of strength.”

It’s essential to address any potential stigma your child may have around mentoring. Many young adults may feel like they’re admitting failure if they seek out a mentor, which can be a barrier to getting the help they need. This statement reinforces that seeking out a mentor is a sign of strength and resilience, not weakness.

  1. “I’m here to support you in finding the right mentor. Let’s look at this mentoring program “Mentoring Young Adults” and see if it might be worth trying out”

Offering to help your child find a mentor can be incredibly helpful. It shows that you’re invested in their success and that you’re willing to be a partner in the process. Together, you can research our program and make sure that it could be a good fit for your child’s needs.

In conclusion, supporting a child through failure to launch can be challenging, but mentoring can be a powerful tool in helping them build confidence and find their path forward. By approaching the conversation in a supportive and non-judgmental way, emphasizing the benefits of mentoring, and offering to help identify potential mentors, you can help your child get the support they need to succeed.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

What to Expect After One Year of Mentoring a Young Adult with Anxiety: Strategies for Success

Having a young adult suffering from anxiety can be a challenging experience for parents. Anxiety can affect every aspect of a young adult’s life, from their social interactions to their academic performance. It can be challenging to know where to start when it comes to helping your young adult cope with anxiety.

MentoringYoungAdults.com provides your child with the support and guidance they need to navigate their anxiety and achieve their goals. But what can you expect after one year of mentoring? Let’s take a look at some of the strategies for success outlined in the article “Mentoring Young Adults with Anxiety: Strategies for Success” and what they can mean for your child.

First and foremost, it’s essential to understand that mentoring is a process. It takes time and consistent effort to see results. However, the rewards can be significant. Our mentoring program helps a young adult develop coping skills and strategies that last a lifetime. With that in mind, let’s dive into some of the strategies for success outlined in the article.

  1. Setting goals and creating a plan

One of our first steps in mentoring is setting goals and creating a plan to achieve them. Goals give your child something to work towards and can provide a sense of purpose and direction. Our mentors help their mentee identify goals that are realistic and achievable, and then create a plan to make them happen.

  1. Developing coping skills

Anxiety can be overwhelming, but there are coping skills that your child can develop to manage their anxiety effectively. Mentoring will help your child identify which coping skills work best for them, such as deep breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques. With practice, these coping skills can become a part of your young adult’s daily routine, helping them manage their anxiety more effectively.

  1. Building a support network

Having a strong support network is essential for anyone struggling with anxiety. Our mentos will help your child build a support network of people they trust, such as friends, family members, or therapists. Knowing that they have people they can turn to when they’re feeling anxious can help your child feel more secure and confident.

  1. Building self-esteem

Anxiety can erode a young adult’s self-esteem, making it challenging for them to believe in themselves and their abilities. Our mentors help your child build self-esteem by recognizing their strengths and encouraging them to take on new challenges. Building self-esteem will help your child feel more confident in their abilities, reducing anxiety and improve their overall well-being.

  1. Fostering independence

Ultimately, the goal of mentoring is to help your child become more independent and self-sufficient. By setting goals, developing coping skills, building a support network, and building self-esteem, your child will learn to manage their anxiety and achieve their goals independently. Our mentors provide guidance and support along the way, but the ultimate goal is for your child to become self-reliant.

Mentoring can be an effective strategy for helping young adults cope with anxiety. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have developed coping skills, built a support network, and fostered independence. While the process of mentoring takes time and effort, the rewards can be significant. With the right support and guidance, your child can learn to manage their anxiety and achieve all of their goals in life.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Three Strategies for Parents to Help Young Adults Overcome Anxiety

Anxiety is a common problem that affects many young adults. As parents, it can be difficult to watch our children struggle with this issue. Fortunately, there are steps we can take to help our young adults overcome anxiety and build the confidence they need to succeed. In this article, we’ll discuss three things parents can do at home to help their young adult suffering from anxiety based on our mentoring work at World Wide Youth Mentoring.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help young adults manage anxiety. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When we’re anxious, our thoughts tend to race and we may feel overwhelmed. Practicing mindfulness can help us stay grounded and focused on the present.

As parents, we can encourage our young adults to practice mindfulness by doing it with them. We can set aside time each day to practice mindfulness together. This can involve simply sitting quietly and focusing on the breath, or it can involve more structured mindfulness exercises like yoga or meditation.

  1. Encourage Positive Self-Speak

Negative self-speak is a common problem for young adults with anxiety. They may tell themselves that they’re not good enough, that they’re going to fail, or that something bad is going to happen. This type of thinking can make anxiety worse.

As parents, we can help our young adults overcome negative self-speak by practicing positive self-speak yourselves. This involves replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, if your child is worried about a test, you can encourage them to tell themselves, “I’ve studied hard for this test and I’m going to do my best.”

  1. Celebrate Micro-Successes

When young adults are struggling with anxiety, it’s important to celebrate even the smallest successes. This can help build confidence and self-esteem, which can make it easier for them to tackle bigger challenges in the future.

As parents, we can help our young adults build micro-successes by setting small goals and celebrating when they achieve them. For example, if your young adult is struggling to leave the house, you can set a goal of walking to the end of the street and back. When they achieve this goal, you can celebrate with them by doing something they enjoy, like watching a movie or playing a game together.

While parents can play a significant role in helping their young adults overcome anxiety, it can be challenging for children to learn these skills solely from family. This is where the option of having a mentor can be particularly beneficial. Our mentors provide a fresh perspective, offer guidance and support, and help young adults build the necessary skills to manage anxiety and succeed in life. By working together with us as a team, parents can give their young adults the tools they need to thrive, both now and in the future.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Convincing Your Young Adult to Try Mentoring to Overcome Anxiety

Mentoring can be a powerful tool for young adults struggling with anxiety. In this article, we’ll explore how parents can encourage a young adult to try mentoring to overcome anxiety.

  1. Understand the benefits of mentoring

Before you can convince your young adult to try mentoring, it’s important to understand the benefits. Mentoring provides a supportive and non-judgmental environment where young adults can share their experiences and feelings. Our mentors offer guidance, resources, and strategies to help young adults manage their anxiety and improve their overall well-being. Additionally, mentoring can provide a sense of connection and belonging, which is important for young adults who may feel isolated or misunderstood.

  1. Start with a conversation not declaration. (What do you think…)

The first step in trying mentoring for your young adult is to have an open and honest conversation about their anxiety. Ask them how managing their anxiety feels to them on a day to day basis and let them know that you’re there to support them. Explain that mentoring can be a helpful resource to learn coping skills and gain support. Ask your child if they would be willing to try mentoring and answer any questions they may have.

  1. Research our mentoring program

Our mentoring program specializes in helping young adults with anxiety. Read our articles about how we work with anxiety and be sure to book a free consultation to talk with us . Our program offers flexible scheduling and occures online, making it easier for child to participate.

  1. Encourage your child to give it a try

Encourage your young adult to give mentoring a try for a few sessions or even one session. Remind them that it’s okay to feel nervous or hesitant at first, but that mentoring can be a positive step toward managing their anxiety. Offer to support them throughout the process, whether that means attending sessions with them or simply being available to talk.

  1. Be patient and supportive

It’s important to be patient and supportive throughout the mentoring process. Encourage your young adult to be open and honest with their mentor about their feelings and experiences. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and offer encouragement when they encounter challenges. Remember that mentoring is a process, and it may take time to see significant progress.

Mentoring can be a powerful resource for young adults struggling with anxiety. By understanding the benefits of mentoring, starting with a conversation, researching our mentoring program, encouraging your young adult to give it a try, and being patient and supportive throughout the process, parents can help their young adult take the first steps toward managing their anxiety and improving their overall well-being.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

What to Expect After One Year of Mentoring a Young Adult with ADHD

As a parent of a young adult with ADHD, it’s natural to want to help your child overcome their challenges and achieve their goals. Working with a qualified mentor can make a real difference in your child’s life. Here’s what you can expect after one year of mentoring based on our work at MentoringYoungAdults.com:

  1. Improved Focus

One of the biggest challenges for young adults with ADHD is maintaining focus on tasks and goals. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have improved their focus and attention span. A mentor can work with your child to develop personalized strategies for improving their focus and help them stay on track with their goals.

  1. Better Time Management

Young adults with ADHD often struggle with time management and organization. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have developed better time management skills. Our mentors help your child create a structured routine and break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This will help your child manage their time more effectively and reduce their stress levels.

  1. Increased Self-Confidence

Young adults with ADHD often struggle with low self-esteem and negative self-speak. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have increased self-confidence and a more positive outlook on their future. Our mentors are trained to provide your child with positive feedback and support, as well as working on transforming negative self-speak into positive self-speak, helping them build their self-esteem and celebrate their achievements.

  1. Improved Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential for success in both personal and professional life. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have improved their communication skills. Our mentors help your child develop effective communication strategies and build their confidence in social situations.

  1. Progress Toward Goals

After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have made progress toward all of their goals. Our mentors will help your child set realistic and achievable goals and provide them with the support and strategies needed to reach those goals. Celebrate your child’s progress and encourage them to keep moving forward.

Working with our mentors can make a significant difference in your child’s life. After one year of mentoring, you can expect your child to have improved their focus, time management, communication skills, and self-confidence, as well as made progress toward their life goals. Remember to be patient and understanding with your child, and consider working with our mentoring program. With the right strategies and support, your child can overcome their ADHD challenges and achieve their full potential.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Rising Above ADHD Challenges: The Power of Parent-Mentor-Child Teamwork

Being a young adult with ADHD can be a challenging experience. However, with the right tools and support, you can help your child improve their focus and achieve their goals. One of the most effective ways to do this is by working as a team with a mentor and your child.

Mastering ADHD is all about developing specific skills and strategies that can help your child overcome their challenges. By working with a mentor, your child can learn how to better manage their symptoms and develop strategies for success.

The first step in this process is to find a qualified mentor who has experience working with children with ADHD. At World Wide Youth Mentoring, this is one of our specialties. It’s essential to find someone who your child can trust and build a strong rapport with. Our mentors provide your child with a safe and supportive online environment where they can explore their strengths and challenges.

Once you’ve begun our mentoring program, it’s time to start working as a team with your child. This involves sharing issues with your child’s mentor through emails. Allowing you child and mentor to set clear goals and expectations for themselves, and communicate regularly with you through emails and “Parent Time”. You can help your child by providing your mentor your observations of the effects the mentoring is having at home.

One of the most effective strategies for helping children with ADHD is to establish a routine. That is what your mentor will do guided by your child’s input on a way that works for them. This will be challenging and there will be many false starts. By keeping the lines of communication open with your mentor, you will help the mentee/mentor team know what works based on your observations.

Remember Pavlov! In some ways, all the false starts in the past may make our mentee’s parents respond to any of the “old routines” as a panic-inducing fear that this will not work. If we have our mentee doing 30 minutes of a routine, followed by a break and then another 5 minutes of a routine, we have built the framework for success. It will take a while. However, that success may still look to the parent as nothing has changed when seeing the 15 hours a day of video gaming continuing. (It used to be 16 hours 🙂

Communication with your mentor and asking what they are working on and how it is progressing can keep the Pavlovian pooch at bay.

Raising a child with ADHD can be a challenging experience. However, by working as a team with a mentor and your child, you can help your child develop the skills and strategies they need to succeed. By working as a team with your mentor through emails and Parent Time, you can help your child overcome their challenges and achieve their full potential. With consistent support and encouragement, your child will thrive and succeed in all areas of their life.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

5 Steps to Encourage a Young Adult with ADHD to Try Mentoring for Improved Focus and Goal Achievement”

As a parent of a young adult with ADHD, you know how challenging it can be for them to stay focused and achieve their goals. You may have tried various strategies to help them manage their symptoms, but have you considered the possibility of working with a mentor? Mentors can provide guidance, support, and accountability for your child, helping them to navigate the unique challenges of ADHD.

Here are some steps you can take to encourage your child to consider working with a mentor for their ADHD issues:

  1. Start the conversation: It’s important to approach the topic of mentoring in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Let your child know that you are there to support them and want to help them find the resources they need to succeed. Share the article from MentoringYoungAdults.com with them and encourage them to read it.
  2. Explain the benefits of mentoring: Share with your child how a mentor can help them develop coping strategies, build self-esteem, and achieve their goals. Our mentors provide support and guidance in areas such as time management, organization, and communication skills.
  3. Find the right mentor: It is important to find a mentor who is a good fit for their needs and personality. Our mentors have experience working with young adults with ADHD.
  4. Encourage your child to take the lead: (If they are open to it.) It’s important that your child feels empowered in the mentoring relationship. Encourage them to take an active role in setting goals and determining the areas where they need the most support. This will help them feel more invested in the process and more likely to stick with it.
  5. Just try it one: Sometimes the concern about a commitment can stop someone from trying new things. Let them know it’s ok to try just one one-hour session to see if it is right for them and then they only have to commit to one month at a time.

Working with a mentor can be a valuable resource for young adults with ADHD. By approaching the topic in a supportive and non-judgmental way, explaining the benefits, and finding the right mentor, you can help your child develop the coping strategies they need to succeed. With the right support, your child can learn to manage their symptoms and achieve their goals.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Mentoring for Mental Health: What Parents Can Expect After One Year

If you are a parent of a young adult who is struggling with mental health challenges, you may feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to support your child. One way to provide your child with the support they need is through mentoring. A mentor can provide guidance, support, and a listening ear to your child, helping them navigate difficult situations and build their self-esteem. Here is what you might expect to see after one year of mentoring, based on the article “How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults with Mental Health Challenges.”

  1. Improved Self-Esteem

One of the most significant benefits of mentoring for young adults with mental health challenges is improved self-esteem. Our mentors help your child build their confidence and self-worth, which can have a positive impact on their mental health. After one year of mentoring, you may notice that your child is more self-assured and willing to take risks. They may be more willing to try new things, and they may be more comfortable speaking up for themselves.

  1. Increased Resilience

Another benefit of mentoring for young adults with mental health challenges is increased resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations, and it is an essential skill for managing mental health challenges. Our mentors help your child develop resilience by providing them with support and guidance during tough times. After one year of mentoring, you may notice that your child is better able to handle stress and adversity. They may be more willing to seek help when they need it, and they may be more resilient in the face of setbacks.

  1. Improved Social Skills

Mentoring also help young adults with mental health challenges improve their social skills. Social skills are essential for building positive relationships with others, which can have a positive impact on mental health. A mentor can help your child develop social skills by providing them with guidance and support as they navigate social situations. After one year of mentoring, you may notice that your child is more confident in social situations. They may be better able to communicate their needs and feelings, and they may have developed new friendships and connections.

  1. Increased Independence

Finally, mentoring can help young adults with mental health challenges increase their independence. Our mentoring program helps your child develop the skills they need to take care of themselves, such as managing their finances, navigating public transportation, or cooking healthy meals. After one year of mentoring, you will notice that your child is more independent and self-sufficient. Being better able to take care of themselves and manage their mental health challenges.

Mentoring can be a powerful tool for supporting young adults with mental health challenges. After one year of mentoring, you will see improved self-esteem, increased resilience, improved social skills, and increased independence in your child. If you are interested in working with one of our mentors for your child, book a consultation today. With patience, love, and support, you can help your child manage their mental health challenges and thrive.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

3 Ways Parents Can Support Young Adults with Mental Health Challenges at Home

As a parent, it can be incredibly difficult to watch your child struggle with mental health issues. You may feel helpless, overwhelmed, and unsure of what steps to take to support your child. However, there are several things you can do at home to help your child manage their mental health challenges. Here are three tips based on the article “How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults with Mental Health Challenges” that you can try:

  1. Encourage Your Child to Seek Out a Mentor

One way to support your child is to encourage them to seek out a mentor. A mentor who specialized in working with young adults provides guidance, support, and a listening ear to your child. A mentor can help your child navigate difficult situations, make positive choices, and build their self-esteem. You can help your child find the right mentor by clicking on the link at the bottom of this blog. You can also encourage your child to talk to their therapist or mental health professional about engaging a mentor who specializes in working with young adults and mental health issues.

  1. Practice Active Listening

Another way to support your child is to practice active listening. Active listening means listening to your child with an open mind, free of judgment. It means giving your child your full attention and allowing them to express themselves without interruption. When your child is talking, try to focus on what they are saying rather than thinking about your response. Validate your child’s feelings and let them know that you are there to support them. Active listening can help your child feel heard and understood, which is incredibly beneficial for their mental health.

  1. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Finally, you can support your child by encouraging healthy coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are strategies that people use to manage stress and difficult emotions. Encouraging your child to develop healthy coping mechanisms can help them manage their mental health challenges in a positive way. Some examples of healthy coping mechanisms include exercise, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, and talking to a therapist or mental health professional. You can help your child identify healthy coping mechanisms that work for them and encourage them to practice these strategies regularly.

Supporting a young adult child with mental health challenges can be a daunting task, but there are things you can do to help. Encouraging your child to seek out a mentor, practicing active listening, and encouraging healthy coping mechanisms are all effective strategies you can try at home. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help if you need it, and that your child’s mental health is important. With patience, love, and support, you can help your child manage their mental health challenges and live a fulfilling life.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

How to Encourage a Young Adult to Consider Online Mentoring for Mental Health Support

As a young adult navigates through life, they may face a variety of challenges that can impact their mental health. Whether it’s stress from school or work, anxiety about the future, or feelings of loneliness and isolation, it can be difficult to cope with these challenges on one’s own.

Fortunately, mentoring can be a powerful tool to support young adults with mental health challenges. In fact, research has shown that having a mentor can improve mental health outcomes for young adults, including reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression and increasing resilience.

If you’re looking for ways to support a young adult’s mental health, here are some reasons for a young adult to consider mentoring online:

  1. Benefits of Mentoring: Talk to your child about the benefits of mentoring and how it can help them with their mental health challenges. Share this article from MentoringYoungAdults.com with them and encourage them to read it.
  2. Research our program: Our mentoring program is specifically designed for young adults with mental health challenges. We provide the resources and support that can help your child build resilience and cope with stress.
  3. Encourage your child to take the first step: Once you believe that our mentoring program seems like a good fit, encourage your child to take the first step and reach out to the program. They can start by filling out an online application or sending an email to the Ken Rabow at Ken@WWYM.org.
  4. Be supportive: If your child decides to pursue mentoring, be supportive and encouraging. Offer to help them set up a quiet space for online mentoring sessions, make sure their computer is set up for a Zoom call and remind them of the benefits of having the right mentor.
  5. Celebrate progress: As your child engages with their mentor and begins to make progress, celebrate their micro-successes and encourage them to keep going. Remind them that it’s okay to ask for help and that they’re not alone in their mental health journey.

Mentoring can be a valuable resource for young adults with mental health challenges, and it’s important to encourage your child to consider it as an option. By starting the conversation, investing out mentoring program, and being supportive, you can help your child build resilience and cope with the challenges they face. Remember, there’s no shame in asking for help, and your child deserves all the support they can get.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

How Mentoring Transforms the Life of a Young Adult with Social Anxiety: A One-Year Progress Report

If you’re a young adult struggling with social anxiety, you’re not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, social anxiety disorder affects about 15 million adults in the United States. The good news is that there are many resources available to help you manage your anxiety and improve your quality of life. One of the most effective resources is mentoring.

Mentoring is a powerful tool for young adults with social anxiety. A mentor can provide guidance, support, and encouragement as you navigate the challenges of social anxiety. By working with a mentor, you can learn new skills, gain confidence, and develop a sense of belonging.

So, what can you expect from mentoring as a young adult with social anxiety? Let’s take a look at some of the benefits you can experience after one year of mentoring.

Improved Social Skills

Social anxiety can make it difficult to form and maintain relationships. You may feel nervous or self-conscious in social situations, and you may avoid socializing altogether. However, with the help of a mentor, you can learn new social skills and techniques to manage your anxiety. Over time, you may find that you’re more comfortable and confident in social situations, which can improve your relationships and overall quality of life.

Increased Self-Awareness

Mentoring can also help you become more self-aware. Your mentor can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your goals and values. With this knowledge, you can make more informed decisions about your future and develop a stronger sense of identity.

Greater Resilience

Living with social anxiety can be challenging, but with the support of a mentor, you can become more resilient. Your mentor can help you develop coping strategies for managing anxiety and overcoming obstacles. Over time, you may find that you’re better equipped to handle difficult situations and bounce back from setbacks.

Stronger Support Network

Mentoring can help you build a stronger support network. Your mentor can introduce you to new ways of meeting people that works for you and help you develop relationships with others who share your interests and values. By building a supportive community, you can feel more connected and less isolated, which can improve your mental health and well-being.

If you’re a young adult with social anxiety, mentoring can be a valuable resource for improving your quality of life. By working with a mentor, you can learn new skills, increase your self-awareness, develop resilience, and build a stronger support network. If you’re interested in mentoring, reach out to Mentoring Young Adults through the link below to learn more about how you can see if mentoring is the right way forward for you.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

From Anxiety to Confidence: Parental Strategies for Helping Young Adults with Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can be a challenging condition for young adults, impacting their ability to make friends and engage in social activities. Although the best success is though a professional mentor who specialized in working with young adults, we want to offer some things you can try at home on your own. Here are three things parents can try at home to help their child with social anxiety, based on the insights from MentoringYoungAdults.com.

  1. Encourage Socializing: Parents can encourage their children to engage in social activities that align with their interests. This will help the child to feel more comfortable in social situations and make friends with similar interests.
    Challenge: This works best when a mentor has built the frame-work to be ready for this. Don’t get discouraged!
  2. Create a Safe Space: Parents can create a safe and supportive environment at home for their children to share their feelings and experiences. This can help to build trust and confidence, and help the child to feel more comfortable in social situations.
    Challenge: If you use a space like the dinner table to “interrogate” your child (you thought it was just asking how their day was… they perceive it as interrogation), you must find a safe space that is NEVER used for “interrogation”.
  3. Model Healthy Social Behavior: Parents can model healthy social behavior by demonstrating how to engage in social situations and maintain healthy relationships. We all learn best by example, and seeing healthy social behavior modeled by their parents can help them to develop these skills themselves. That also means eliminating confrontational dialogue in the face of home challenges and learning active listening to employ in ALL situations at home.

Remember, helping your child overcome social anxiety is a process that requires patience and persistence. By encouraging socializing, creating a safe space, and modeling healthy social behavior, parents can provide their children with the tools and support they need to build friendships and feel more comfortable in social situations. And if you feel that your child needs additional support, consider connecting them with an online mentor who can offer personalized guidance and encouragement. Together, you can help your child develop the skills and confidence they need to thrive socially and emotionally!

When you a ready to see if mentoring is the right step for your child, click here.

Making Connections: How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults Overcome Social Anxiety and Build Friendships

So many parents who want their child to try mentoring come up with the challenge of encouraging their young adult to try mentoring, especially when of the main issues is social anxiety and making friends. Here are some ways to suggest to your child why mentoring could be beneficial.

Highlight the positive impact that mentoring can have on social anxiety. Explain how mentoring provides a safe and supportive space to help them build confidence and self-esteem, as well as work on communication issues.

You can also point out that since it is online, it is an easy space to practice socializing in a controlled environment.

Moreover, you can point out that these mentors are there for them and will work on whatever the wish to work on, effectively allowing them to be in charge of the process. Explain that a mentor can help them improve their communications skills, work on different forms of anxiety and help them deal with the outside world in a slow steady progress, based on what would feel comfortable to your child. The mentor is there to help your child discover their sense of purpose and direction.

It’s important to assure your young adult that mentoring is not a form of therapy, but rather something different that may benefit them in various aspects of their life. It is action-based. Additionally, emphasize that they have the power to choose their goals, and be in charge of the whole process.

Lastly, it may be helpful to offer your support and encouragement throughout the mentoring process. Reassure them that you believe in their ability to overcome their social anxiety and that you know it is scary to try new things but you believe it is worth a try and you know how hard it is to try new things. They just need to try (one session or four sessions), or an hour session on a video-call to see if this might be for them.

Remember to approach the topic with empathy, understanding, and an open mind.

When you a ready to see if mentoring is the right step for your child, click here.

Breaking Barriers: How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults Overcome Social Anxieties and Make Friends

Generation Z, those born between 1997 and 2012, face unique challenges when it comes to making friends. They are the first generation to have grown up entirely in the digital age, which has impacted their communication skills and ability to connect with others. As a result, many young adults in this generation struggle with social anxieties and have trouble communicating in person. However, finding the right mentor can provide support and guidance to overcome these challenges and improve their ability to make connections with others.

One of the primary reasons why it’s difficult for Gen Z young adults to make friends is their social anxiety. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, social anxiety disorder affects about 15 million adults in the United States, and it’s more common in younger generations. This challenge can make individuals feel overly self-conscious and uncomfortable in social situations, which can lead to avoidance and isolation.

Another factor that contributes to Gen Z’s difficulty in making friends is their reliance on digital communication. While technology has made it easier to connect with others, it has also created a barrier between people when it comes to face-to-face interactions. Many young adults in this generation have grown up communicating through screens, which can lead to a lack of confidence and discomfort when communicating in person.

A mentor who specialized in working with young adults can help these young adults overcome these challenges and develop the skills necessary to make meaningful connections with others. We provide guidance on how to overcome social anxiety, such as practicing deep breathing and positive self-talk. Our mentors also offer support in finding simple social situations and opportunities to meet new people, starting with virtual exercises, such as emails, then phone calls, building up to short meetings in places that are familiar and comforting for our mentees, such as a magic card shop, a computer parts shot, a shop focusing on an art our mentee likes and building from there. Based on each new micro-practice, we provide coaching on how to communicate effectively in each situation building on the last.

In addition, our mentors serve as a safe space to help young adults grow and be ok with mis-steps, showing our mentees, the secret to growth is when we mess up to figure out our first new starting step… over and over until we no longer fear the unknown. We share their own experiences and struggles with friendships and communication, and offer guidance on how to build lasting relationships. Our mentors also help young adults identify their strengths and weaknesses, working to build our mentees confidence and self-esteem.

Having a mentor who has trained in a system solely focused on young adults, can be a game-changer for Gen Z young adults who struggle with making friends. It provides the support and guidance necessary to overcome social anxieties and develop strong communication skills, which are essential for building meaningful relationships. While making friends may seem daunting at times, a mentor can help young adults feel more confident and empowered to take on these challenges and every other challenge in their lives.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Unlocking the Benefits of Mentoring for Young Adults with Autism: A Guide for Parents

As a parent of a young adult with autism, you may be wondering how you can best support your child as they navigate the challenges of adulthood. One valuable option to consider is mentoring. In this article, we will explore the benefits of mentoring for young adults with autism and provide guidance on how to help your child find the right mentor who can support them in their journey.

  1. Improved Social Skills

Young adults with autism may struggle with social skills and find it difficult to form meaningful relationships. Our mentors provide an opportunity for your child to practice these skills in a safe and supportive environment. We model appropriate social behavior, provides feedback on communication skills, and helps your child navigate social situations, free of judgment, allowing your child to become more confident and adept at building connections with others.

  1. Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence

Many young adults with autism struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in their abilities that do not come easily to them. By providing encouragement, support, and guidance, our mentors help your child build self-esteem and confidence. This can lead to increased independence and a greater sense of self-worth.

  1. Academic and Career Success

Young adults with autism have unique talents and strengths that may go unrecognized. By helping your child identify their strengths and interests, we provide guidance and support in pursuing academic and career goals specifically suited to your child. We also provide assistance with college applications, personal statements, resumes, and job interviews, which greatly increase your child’s chances of success.

  1. Improved Emotional Regulation

Young adults with autism may struggle with emotional regulation and experience intense emotions in response to stressful situations. Mentoring Young Adults helps your child develop coping strategies for managing stress and regulating emotions, leading to greater emotional stability and an improved ability to handle challenging situations.

  1. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills

We provide an opportunity for your child to work through real-life problems and challenges. By encouraging them to think critically and problem-solve, we help them develop important life skills that will be valuable in every aspect of their life.

Finding a Mentor

If you believe mentoring could be a good fit for your child, the next step is to find a mentor who can provide the support and guidance they need. A mentor who works exclusively with young adults and specifically with young adults on the spectrum. Mentoring Young Adults has been doing so since 2015.

Conclusion

Mentoring can be a valuable experience for young adults with autism. By providing support, guidance, and encouragement, a mentor helps your child develop important life skills and achieve their academic and career goals. If you are interested in exploring mentoring as an option for your child, consider booking an appointment with us today. With the right mentor, your child can thrive and achieve their full potential.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

How it Works – A Life Coach for Young Adults

One On One Mentoring:
Online Life Coach for Young Adults

A Life Coach for Young Adults must do the following:

Listen: 

  1. A good listener. Free of judgment. We listen to the worries of the parents. At the same time, we hear the young adult’s challenges and we support them choosing better self-directed paths.

    Organize: 

  2. An organized, tried and true system to help life coach young adults past their blocks and help them find success in a way that helps the develop, grow and own their lives.

    Have Vision:

  3.  A great life coach for young adults can see the gold that is there, the challenges preventing the gold from shining and a slow and steady path to help the client reach their potential.

    Encourage Truth: 

  4. A great life coach for young adults creates a safe-space where the client will share the truth. The exact thing he has been avoiding with parents, teachers and others.

    Foster Practice: 

  5. A professional life coach for young adults dealing with low self-esteem, failure to launch, school failures must “right the ship”. We start with goals and create a daily routine and then show our clients that to succeed in daily routines, we must find out where in the day they can begin to start the work required. Once they see that they can be in control, they start to believe in themselves for things they earn.

    Personalize:

  6. A skilled life coach for young adults creates a personalize program. Based on what the parent has shared, the goals the client chooses and what they learn together working twice a week, week after week on daily routines to help life coach young adults to find their inner strength.

We Create a Personalized Program: This program is based on what the life coach has heard, what the young adult chooses as goals and the life-lessons that will let them grow towards those goals.

Read About Our Method for
Life Coaching Young Adults

Our method for Life Coaching Young Adults focuses on motivation and inspiration.

The client needs to want to grow. That is the essence of what a life coach for young adults does.

  • Sessions are held twice a week for one full hour each on Skype.
  • The client chooses three things they wish to work on, the challenges to those being successful and the first sign-posts of success.
  • We create together a daily schedule of tasks to work on and learn what works, what doesn’t work and how to be successful .
  • Clients learn how to take charge of their lives in positive ways eliminating many self-limiting mindsets such as depression in teens / depression in young adults, anxiety in teens / anxiety in young adults and addiction in teenagers / addiction in young adults (such as pot addiction and video game addiction).
  • This is a system that is designed as a free of judgment, self-discovery system where the client chooses their remedies (with guidance), learn from their mistakes and grow.

If you would like to know more or see if this system would work for your teen or young adult, please contact us for a free 15 minute consultation.

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One On One Parent Support

Due to the challenges most parents have been dealing with for many years, we have created support for the parents as well as the client. There are four ways we can offer support for each parent who is interested in trying to help their child rise above the challenges in their lives.

  1. Consider the idea of a life coach for young adults for your child.

    This is the main reason people call us.

World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc works with a system for life coaching young adults developed by Ken Rabow. It is complete system of guidance and mentoring that approaches the young adult as a partner in their journey past their blocks towards new habits that lead to success.

Our focus is to use a client’s innate strengths to grow the parts that are challenges for them. Together, we set realistic short term goals, daily routines and use these tools to help them learn personal growth skills that work and are long lasting.

The goal of a professional life coach for young adults is to let them walk their own path while avoiding the dead ends including teen depression and teen anxiety that will follow them later on in life and become depression in young adults and anxiety in young adults.

  1. Let us help you get your child to consider Life Coaching Young Adults.com

    Half of the parents who meet with us and believe that our system to life coach young adults will work, have no problem getting their children to meet with us. Offering their children the opportunity to decide for themselves if this system will be right for them.

But for the other half, it may seem like getting their children to even consider life coaching for young adults can be impossible. As a result of these challenges, we have experienced all sorts of resistance and found ways to get clients onboard. We can offer you many techniques to help your child consider life coaching.  Once we meet with them, we can then see if this is the right system for them. Our success rate with this is about 95%.

  1. Mentor and Parents working together to help you survive the day-to-day frustrations.

So many parents these days feel alone in dealing with a child who seems to blocked from success.

Challenges for young adults these days are most noteworthy. Issues like: school failures, low self-esteem, communication, anger, pot addiction, videogame addiction, anxiety, and more. When you work with a professional life coach for young adults, you become part of a team. Together, we rise above the day-to-day frustrations. Part of our long-term mentoring strategy for growth is helping parents and their children learn to communicate and co-operate.

Our success rate is high for parents willing to work together with us and create a new, positive family dynamic.

  1. Learning to be a Mentor through Mentors Professional Workshop. 

For those who wish to become mentors for young adults, we recommend taking our course at Mentors Professional Workshop. We have a program where you can mentor another mentor’s child and they can mentor yours’.

This is a wonderful way to give back to the community with your own skills. We then find another Mentor to do the same for you. It really does take a village. This one is just virtual.

If you would like to know more or see if this system would work for your teen or young adult, please contact us for a free 15 minute consultation.

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How Training to Become a Professional Life Coach for Young Adults Works

Through World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc. we offer a one year course through our online live courses at Mentors Professional Workshop.

These courses cover all levels of support for young adults in need and their families. Their are three degrees due to the fact that not all clients need the same level of mentoring.

1st degree for issues of low self-esteem, school failures, communication issues, mild pot addiction and video-game addiction.

2nd Degree adds mental health issues; young adult anxiety, bi-polar issues, schizophrenia in youth, oppositional defiant disorder and more pernicious addictions. Aspergers Syndrome in Teens

Master Level Mentors are trained for everything. From themes complex to the most baffling. Almost every challenge young adults face these days can be transformed with the guidance of a Master Level Mentor.

PLAN OF ACTION

  • Share this with someone who would be a perfect candidate to become a Professional Life Coach Mentor for Young Adults
  • Book a Free 15 Minute Interview to learn how we can train you to become a Professional Life Coach / Mentor for Young Adults
  • Go to our sister website, Mentors Professional Workshop, to learn all about Becoming a Professional Life Coach / Mentor for Young Adults

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Check out our Case Studies to help in addition to all the information above.

Mentoring Young Adults with Depression: What to Expect After One Year of Mentoring

Mentoring can be an effective form of support for young adults with depression, as it provides them with a trusted adult who can offer guidance, encouragement, and emotional support. Over the course of a year, a mentee may experience a range of benefits, including:

  1. Increased self-esteem and confidence: A good mentor can help a young adult develop a positive self-image and belief in their abilities.
  2. Improved coping skills: Mentors can provide young adults with tools and strategies to help them manage their depression and handle life’s challenges.
  3. Greater sense of purpose: By working with a mentor, a young adult may develop a clearer understanding of their goals and values, and feel more motivated to pursue them.
  4. Expanded social network: A mentor can introduce a young adult to new people and opportunities, helping them build a supportive community.

It’s important to note that the outcomes of mentoring can vary depending on a variety of factors, including the quality of the mentor-mentee relationship, the mentee’s willingness to engage with the process, and the severity of the mentee’s depression. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a mental health professional in addition to a mentor.

Parenting a Young Adult with Depression: 3 Expert Tips from Master Level Mentor Ken Rabow

Parenting a young adult with depression can be a difficult and emotionally challenging experience. As a parent, it’s important to understand the unique needs of your child and to provide them with the support and guidance they need to manage their symptoms and maintain their mental health. Here are some expert tips to help you support your child through their journey:

  1. Educate yourself about depression: The first step to supporting your child is to educate yourself about depression. Learn about the symptoms, causes, and treatment options available. This will help you understand what your child is going through and give you the tools you need to provide effective support.
  2. Encourage your child to seek professional help: While parents can provide a lot of support, it’s important for young adults with depression to seek professional help. Encourage your child to speak with a mental health professional who can provide them with the right diagnosis and treatment plan. A therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in treating depression in young adults can be especially helpful.
  3. Create a supportive environment: Creating a supportive environment at home is crucial for young adults with depression. Make sure your child feels loved and supported, and encourage them to talk about their feelings and experiences. Help them establish healthy habits, such as regular exercise and a nutritious diet, and make sure they get enough sleep. Encourage them to participate in activities they enjoy and to spend time with friends and family.
  4. Consider hiring a mentor: While parents can provide a lot of support, it can be helpful to have an outside perspective and additional guidance. A mentor can provide your child with the support and guidance they need to navigate the challenges of depression and develop the skills they need to thrive. Mentors can help young adults set goals, establish healthy habits, and develop the coping skills they need to manage their symptoms.

As a parent, it’s important to be supportive and understanding of your child’s needs. By educating yourself about depression, encouraging your child to seek professional help, and creating a supportive environment at home, you can help your child manage their symptoms and live a fulfilling life. If you feel that your child could benefit from additional support, consider hiring a mentor who can provide them with the guidance and skills they need to thrive.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

“Working as a Team: How Mentoring Can Help Parents Support Young Adults with Depression”

As a parent, it can be extremely difficult to watch your young adult child struggle with depression. It can be challenging to know how to best support them, especially if you are also juggling work and other responsibilities. One way to help your child deal with depression is by working as a team with a mentor.

Mentoring is a powerful tool that can provide your young adult child with additional support, guidance, and perspective during their challenging times. Our mentors have experience and expertise in a mentoring young adults and help their mentees grow on all levels.

Working as a team with a mentor means that you, as a parent, have the added support of someone who has experience dealing with similar challenges and can offer a fresh perspective on your child’s situation.
As your child finds their own way towards success, you join the team as a part-time member.

To create a successful mentee-mentor-parent team requires working with a mentor who specializes in working with young adults dealing with mental health issues.

Once you have found a mentor for your child, it is important to establish a clear communication plan between you, your child, and the mentor. This could include regular check-ins or meetings to discuss your child’s progress, challenges, and goals.

It is also essential to set clear expectations for what you hope to achieve by working as a team with a mentor. This could include specific goals for your child’s mental health, such as improving their mood, reducing their anxiety, or increasing their sense of purpose and motivation.

Working as a team with a mentor can be particularly helpful for young adults because it provides them with a trusted adult outside of their immediate family who can offer support and guidance. It can also be helpful for parents because it provides them with an additional resource for helping their child without feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.

In conclusion, if you are a parent with a young adult child dealing with depression, consider working as a team with a mentor. This approach can provide your child with additional support and guidance, while also giving you the added support and resources you need to help your child navigate this challenging time. With the right mentor, communication plan, and clear goals, working as a team can be a powerful way to support your young adult child’s mental health and well-being.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

How to Help Convince Your Child to Try Mentoring to Rise Above Depression and find Success.

While depression can be challenging to manage, mentoring can provide young adults with a supportive and non-judgmental environment to talk about their feelings, set goals, and develop skills to manage their challenges. If you’re a parent struggling to help your child with depression, here are some tips on how to convince them to try mentoring.

  1. Understand the Benefits of Mentoring

Mentoring can provide young adults with a positive, non-judgmental role model who can offer guidance, support, and encouragement. A mentor can help young adults build self-confidence, set goals, and develop coping strategies to manage their depression.

Research has also shown that mentoring can have a positive impact on mental health outcomes. A study published in the Journal of Primary Prevention found that mentoring can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in young adults. Other research has found that mentoring can improve academic and career outcomes, and increase self-esteem.

  1. Frame Mentoring as an Opportunity

When discussing mentoring with your young adult, it’s important to frame it as an opportunity to try out rather than a commitment. Emphasize that mentoring offers an opportunity to help them set goals, rise above their challenges, and create success makers to build slow, steady micro-successes.

  1. Finding the Right Mentor

Not all mentors are created equal, and it’s important to find the right match for your young adult. Our mentors specialize in working with young adults with all sorts of challenges including depression.

When introducing your young adult to our mentoring program, try saying something like this:
I just spoke to a life coach named Ken Rabow, he is not a therapist, it is not talk therapy, it is action based and he works on whatever you feel you need help with. I think he could really help you find your own way.

I would like you to try it, and if you find (after one month) (after one hour) that it’s not for you, then we can look for something else together.

One of the things he mentioned, is that he asked me to stop having discussions with you on what you should and shouldn’t do, and let the mentor and you work on that together.

What do you think?

  1. Emphasize Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a crucial aspect of mentoring. Emphasize to your young adult that anything they share with their mentor will be kept confidential, unless there’s a risk of harm to themselves or others. This can help your child feel more comfortable sharing their feelings and concerns with their mentor.

  1. Provide Ongoing Support

Helping young adults rise above depression is only the beginning of what we do as mentors. We help our mentees find success in all aspects of their lives.

Conclusion

Mentoring can be a powerful tool for young adults with depression. By providing a supportive and a non-judgmental environment, we help young adults develop skills and strategies to manage their challenges and achieve their goals. If you’re a parent struggling to help your child with depression, consider suggesting mentoring as a valuable resource to support their mental health and well-being.

Remember to approach the topic of mentoring with empathy and understanding, and to listen to your young adult’s concerns and preferences. Mentoring young adults help them navigate life’s challenges and achieve their goals.

We are not our labels.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

ken.rabow@gmail.com

“Mastering ADD: Helping Young Adults Improve Focus and Achieve Their Goals”

At Mentoring Young Adults, we understand that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) can present unique challenges for young adults. We believe that mastering ADD is all about understanding how our mentees process information and how they focus. By developing a personalized approach, we help our clients overcome these challenges and achieve their goals.

For many of our mentees, one of the most effective ways to manage ADD is by first learning to focus on things that interest them. We believe that by engaging in activities that they enjoy, our clients can improve their attention span and develop better focus. This is a critical step towards minimizing attention challenges and improving overall performance.

For some where focused attention training needs more, we help parents investigate the aspect of managing ADD through medication. For the mentees requiring more, we work with medical professionals through their parents to find the right medications and create daily routines to incorporate those meds. By doing so, we help our clients manage their ADD symptoms and improve their ability to focus and concentrate.

At Mentoring Young Adults, we understand that managing ADD can be a long and challenging process. Our mentors are committed to providing ongoing support to our clients, helping them overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. We believe that everyone deserves the chance to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, and we are dedicated to helping our mentees achieve just that.

Mastering ADD is all about understanding how our mentees process information and how they focus. By developing personalized plans that cater to each mentee’s unique needs, we help them overcome attention challenges and achieve their goals. Whether it’s through engaging in activities that interest them, building focus or medication management, our mentors are dedicated to providing ongoing support to help our mentees rise above their challenges and achieve their full potential.

Click here to book a free 15 minute consultation.

Supporting Neuro-Diverse Young Adults: Navigating the World of Neurotypicals While Embracing Uniqueness”

At Mentoring Young Adults, we understand that every individual is unique, and we strive to provide specialized support for young adults who are on the autism spectrum. Our mentors works with young adults who have been diagnosed in later years, those who are sub-clinically on the spectrum, and those who have been working with autism for most of their lives.

Autism is a complex condition that affects each individual differently, and as such, each case requires a unique approach. We work with our mentees to develop personalized plans that cater to their specific needs, challenges, and strengths. By understanding each mentee’s superpowers, we can help them achieve their full potential.

One of the most significant challenges faced by neuro-diverse individuals is navigating a world designed for neurotypicals. This is where our mentoring program comes in. We help our mentees learn how to navigate this world and still be true to themselves. We believe that being true to oneself is critical to one’s mental and emotional well-being. Our mentors works to create a safe and supportive environment that encourages our mentees to be themselves and embrace their uniqueness while still learning to master the challenges that can throw them off.

At Mentoring Young Adults, we understand that the road to success can be long and challenging, especially for individuals on the autism spectrum. Our mentors are committed to providing ongoing support to our mentees, helping them overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Everyone deserves the chance to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, and we are dedicated to helping our mentees achieve just that.

At Mentoring Young Adults, we are committed to providing specialized support to individuals on the autism spectrum. We understand that every individual is unique, and we work with our clients to develop personalized plans that cater to their specific needs, challenges, and strengths. We believe that being true to oneself is essential, and we work to create a safe and supportive online environment that encourages our embrace to embrace their uniqueness while navigating the parts of the neuro-typical world that throws them off sometimes. We are dedicated to helping our mentees overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Everyone deserves the chance to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults with Mental Health Challenges

Mental health issues are increasingly common among young adults, with conditions such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar issues on the rise. These conditions can be difficult to explain to others, especially when there are no visible physical symptoms. At MentoringYoungAdults.com, we understand the challenges that mental health issues can pose for young adults and their families.

Our mentoring program is designed to support young adults with mental health issues, focusing on their strengths and challenges rather than just their labels. Through the medical health direction we receive, we work closely to ensure that our mentees are receiving the appropriate therapies and medications, and we provide additional support to help them manage their conditions and live fulfilling lives.

We also understand the importance of involving parents in the mentoring process, especially when it comes to supporting their child’s mental health. We work with parents to help them understand their child’s condition and how mentoring can help them rise above their labels and develop strategies for supporting our mentoring work at home. We also help parents work with what medical professionals proscribe to create routines and checkups to ensure that their child’s therapies and medications are supported by our mentoring program.

At MentoringYoungAdults.com, we believe that every young adult deserves the support and guidance they need to manage their mental health and thrive. With our mentoring program, we provide a safe and supportive environment for young adults to develop the skills and resilience they need to navigate the challenges of mental health issues.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Breaking the Cycle of Isolation: How Mentoring Can Support Young Adults Who Struggle to Make Friends”

Social anxiety is a common issue among young adults, making it difficult to meet new people and build meaningful connections. Many young people struggle to communicate effectively, especially with those outside their comfort circle. However, by mentoring young adults, we can teach them valuable social skills and help them overcome these barriers.

At MentoringYoungAdults.com, we use a variety of methods to help our mentees develop confidence and build social skills. We empower young adults to learn how to understand and empathize with others and how to communicate in a way that builds relationships.

Through mentoring, we work with our mentees to understand how others think and feel. We help them practice active listening and teach them how to communicate effectively in different situations. We provide a safe and supportive environment where they can test out their new communication skills and build on each micro-success.

Our mentoring program is tailored to each individual mentee’s needs and goals. Whether they’re struggling with social anxiety or simply looking to improve their social skills, we help them develop the confidence and communication skills they need to build meaningful connections with others.

We provide a wide range of resources and tools to support our mentees’ growth. We work closely with them to set goals, track progress, and provide ongoing feedback and support.

By mentoring young adults, we can help them overcome their social anxiety and build the skills they need to make friends and build relationships. We believe that every young person deserves the chance to build a happy and fulfilling life, and we’re here to help them achieve that goal.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Unlocking the Power of Communication: How Mentoring Can Help Young Adults Build Critical Life Skills

Effective communication is a crucial life skill that helps young adults navigate relationships and achieve success in both personally and professionally. As professional online Mentors, we are trained to help your child to slowly and steadily grow thier communication skills. We know that young adults often struggle in this area, particularly when it comes to communicating with others outside their “comfort” circle (usually those online).

For young adults dealing with school, work or social situations, communication issues are often a significant barrier to establishing a productive and meaningful relationships. Many young people find it challenging to communicate with anyone, especially those they don’t know well, and this can lead to missed opportunities, frustration, and a lack of progress.

The first step in overcoming communication issues is to find a mentor experienced in working with young adults specializing in building communication skills in a safe, judgement-free environment. This is one of the great advantages of online mentoring, the mentee is in their safe space on their portal to their world. As mentors, we also model effective communication skills, hearing and being heard which empowers your child to become more open to good communication.

Our mentoring program for communication issues begins with small steps, practicing basic conversation skills, learning to listen and be heard and builds from there. Often you will be a practice partner, sending a short email or text message to start. Over time, your child can gradually build up their communication skills, moving next to emails to teachers or for jobs, followed by short phone calls their fears of what to say, what could go wrong, what I don’t understand them and more are slowly eliminated through writing out simple scripts and practicing with their mentor..

It begins with the mentee’s goals shared with their mentor and the mentee realizing they have a partner who is open and receptive to their concerns and ideas. By actively listening to your child and responding with empathy and understanding, we build trust and establish the foundation for effective communication.

Our major focus is noticing the small wins along the way, the micro-successes. When your child successfully communicates with their mentor or takes a step towards greater communication skills, we acknowledge and reinforce their progress. This positive feedback fosters positive self-speak, building confidence and motivating your child to continue working towards all of their goals while being more open to speaking their truth gracefully, respectfully and confidently.

Communication issues can be a significant barrier to success in an all areas of life. It can also be the opportunity to transform every aspect of their lives through an experienced mentor trained in a master mentoring program. You can help your child develop effective communication skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. With patience, persistence, and a commitment to growth, your child will blossom into a confident and skilled communicator seeking their best life.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Empowering Young Adults with Depression: How Mentoring Can Help Navigate Life’s Challenges

Depression in young adults is a pervasive mental health condition that can make life feel overwhelming and unbearable. However, not all depression is the same, and it is essential to differentiate between clinical and situational depression to determine the most effective treatment plan.

Situational depression in young adults is a type of depression that results from life events or situations, such as a school failures, job loss, or the challenges that arise from not knowing a good way forward. Basically where life feels for them like a poop sandwich.

Our mentors provide guidance, support, and encouragement to young adults experiencing situational depression. They can help their mentees identify their strengths, develop coping mechanisms, and create positive routines that promote well-being. Mentors also help their mentees let go of negative self-speak and embrace positive self-speak. This is a slow process with two steps forward and one step back but the changes tend to be long-lasting and profound. These strategies can be highly effective in reducing symptoms of situational depression and promoting a more positive outlook on life.

However, when these feelings of depression do not change after all of these mentoring techniques, it can be a sign that the depression is more clinical than situational. This is often the time where we work with parents to engage the right medical professionals using the right modes for our mentees. Mentors can help ensure that their mentees receive the right treatment for their condition. This may include medication, therapy, or a combination of both. Mentors can also support their mentees by providing emotional support, encouragement, and practical assistance to be consistent with treatments throughout the process.

Mentors can work with medical professionals in a variety of ways. For instance, mentors can communicate with parents about their mentee’s improvements or issues with a given treatment plan. They can also help their mentees attend medical appointments and support them in adhering to their treatment plan.

Mentoring young adults can be a powerful tool in helping individuals experiencing situational depression. Mentors can provide emotional support, guidance, and practical assistance to help their mentees manage their symptoms and move towards a more positive outlook on life. However, it is important to remember that depression may require medical intervention in some cases. By working with parents and medical professionals, mentors can ensure that their mentees receive the right treatment for their condition and can provide ongoing support throughout the healing process, allowing us to get back to mentoring our mentees towards success in all aspects of their lives.

We are not our labels!

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation

Managing Anger Through Mentoring: A Guide for Parents of Young Adults

As a parent, it can be difficult to see your child struggle with anger issues. Anger is a natural emotion that can be triggered by a variety of factors, such as stress, frustration, or a sense of injustice. While anger itself is not inherently negative, it can become problematic when it is not managed effectively. Young adults who struggle with anger issues may experience a range of negative consequences, including strained relationships, academic or professional setbacks, and even physical health problems.

Fortunately, mentoring can be an effective tool for helping young adults manage their anger. Mentors provide a safe and supportive space for young adults to explore their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. By working with a mentor, young adults can learn how to identify triggers for their anger and develop strategies for managing it effectively.

Mentoring can also help young adults build important life skills, such as communication, problem-solving, and self-advocacy. By developing these skills, young adults can feel more confident and empowered in their interactions with others, which can reduce frustration and resentment.

At Mentoring Young Adults, we offer a range of resources and services to help young adults manage their anger and improve their overall well-being. Our website provides information on the benefits of mentoring and how to find a mentor that is right for you. We also offer a variety of mentoring programs and services that can be customized to meet the unique needs of each young adult.

In summary, anger is a natural emotion that can become problematic when it is not managed effectively. Mentoring can be a valuable tool for helping young adults learn how to manage their anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. At Mentoring Young Adults, we are committed to helping young adults build the skills and confidence they need to lead fulfilling, happy lives.

Click Here to book a free 15 minute consultation.

Overcoming School Failures: How Mentoring Can Help Students Master Time Management and Advocacy

School can be a critical part of a young person’s life. It is where they learn the skills and knowledge that will shape their future. However, for some students, school can become a source of frustration and anxiety. Just-in-time studying, or cramming, may work for a while, but eventually, students reach a level where this approach is no longer effective. This can lead to self-sabotage and a decline in academic performance. The good news is that mentoring can be a valuable tool for students struggling with school failures.

Many young adults find themselves in a situation where they are just getting by in school. They may be able to scrape by on minimal effort, but eventually, they reach a point where their current approach is no longer sufficient. This can lead to feelings of frustration and hopelessness. In some cases, students may even begin to self-sabotage, deliberately sabotaging their academic performance as a way of coping with their perceived failure.

Mentoring can be a powerful tool for helping these students turn their academic performance around. A mentor can work with a student to help them develop effective study habits, learn time-management skills, and develop strong relationships with their teachers. By providing guidance and support, a mentor can help a student build the skills and confidence they need to succeed in school.

One of the most critical areas where a mentor can be helpful is in teaching students how to organize their time effectively. Many young adults struggle with time management, leading to missed deadlines, forgotten assignments, and other problems. A mentor can work with a student to develop a schedule that allows them to balance their academic responsibilities with their other commitments.

Another important role that a mentor can play is in helping students advocate for themselves with their teachers. Many students are reluctant to speak up when they are struggling, but a mentor can encourage them to ask for help when they need it. This can lead to better communication with teachers and a more positive relationship with the school overall.

Finally, a mentor can help students learn how to master school. This means developing the skills and habits that are necessary for academic success, such as critical thinking, problem-solving, and effective communication. By building these skills, students can not only improve their academic performance but also prepare themselves for success in the workforce and beyond.

In conclusion, school failures are a common problem for many young adults, but mentoring can be a powerful tool for helping them overcome these challenges. By teaching students how to organize their time, advocate for themselves, and develop the skills they need to succeed, a mentor can help these students turn their academic performance around and achieve their full potential.

Click Here to book a free 15 minute consultation.

Failure to Launch: Building Micro-Successes with a Mentor’s Help

by Ken Rabow

Many young people face the challenge of Failure to Launch. This is a phenomenon where a young person struggles to move forward in life, finding it difficult to transition into adulthood. This can have a significant impact on all areas of their lives, from school and work to self-care and communication. However, with the help of a mentor, a young person can learn how to overcome these challenges and build the will to succeed.

The first step in helping a young person overcome Failure to Launch is to understand the root causes of their struggles. These can include a lack of motivation, poor organizational skills, difficulty communicating, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of adulthood. Once these challenges are identified, a mentor can work with the young person to develop a plan for addressing them one at a time.

The key to success in this process is to focus on building micro-successes. These are small accomplishments that gradually build the young person’s confidence and sense of accomplishment. For example, if the young person is struggling with organization, the mentor may help them set a goal of cleaning on part of their room or organizing one section of their schoolwork. Once they achieve this goal, they will have a sense of accomplishment that can motivate them to take on bigger challenges.

As the young person builds these micro-successes, they will also build the will to succeed. This is the inner drive that pushes them to keep going, even when faced with obstacles and setbacks. By working with a mentor to build this will, the young person will become more resilient and better equipped to face the challenges of adulthood.

Of course, building micro-successes takes time and patience. It’s important to avoid overwhelming the young person with too many goals at once. Instead, the mentor focuses on one or two small goals at a time, building one success upon the next and celebrate each accomplishment along the way.

In conclusion, Failure to Launch can be a significant challenge for young people as they transition into adulthood. However, with the help of a mentor, they can learn to overcome these challenges and build the will to succeed. By focusing on building micro-successes one at a time, the young person can gradually build their confidence and sense of accomplishment. This slow, steady process will ultimately lead to success in all areas of their lives, from school and work to self-care and communication.

Click Here to book a free 15 minute consultation.

Mentoring Young Adults with Anxiety: Strategies for Success

by Ken Rabow

Anxiety is a serious issue for many young adults, and it can take on many different forms. Body-based anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms like racing heart, sweating, or shaking. Mind-based anxiety may cause worry, fear, or self-doubt. Totem-based anxiety can arise from specific triggers like crowds, social situations, or public speaking. Time-based anxiety can stem from deadlines or time constraints, while distance-based anxiety may arise when being away from a safe space or person.

If your teen is struggling with anxiety, mentoring can be a powerful tool to help them find new ways to manage their anxiety and embrace life’s challenges. A mentor can provide a safe and judgment-free space for your teen to explore their anxiety challenges and develop new coping strategies. They can offer guidance and support as your teen learns to identify their triggers, manage their emotions, and build resilience.

Through mentoring, your teen can learn to look at their anxiety challenges in a new light, with a focus on growth and positive change. With the support of a mentor, your teen can learn to become calm and relaxed in the face of anxiety, and embrace the challenges of life with confidence and resilience. So if your teen is struggling with anxiety, consider the power of mentoring to help them overcome their fears and find a path towards success and happiness.

Here are some ways that mentoring can help young adults with anxiety:

  1. Identifying Triggers: A mentor can help your teen identify what triggers their anxiety, whether it’s certain situations, thoughts, or emotions. By recognizing these triggers, your teen can begin to develop coping strategies to manage their anxiety.
  2. Building Coping Strategies: Mentors can help your teen develop coping strategies that work for them, whether it’s deep breathing exercises, meditation, journaling, or other relaxation techniques. These strategies can be used to manage anxiety in the moment or prevent anxiety from escalating in the future.
  3. Developing Mindfulness: Mentors can teach your teen how to practice mindfulness, which involves being present in the moment and observing thoughts and emotions without judgment. By learning to be more mindful, your teen can better manage their anxiety and develop greater self-awareness.
  4. Encouraging Self-Care: Mentors can help your teen understand the importance of self-care, including getting enough sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition. These practices can help your teen feel better physically and emotionally, which can reduce anxiety.
  5. Providing Support: Above all, mentors can provide emotional support and encouragement to your teen as they navigate their anxiety. Mentors can help your teen feel heard, understood, and supported, which can be invaluable when dealing with anxiety.

Overall, mentoring can be a powerful tool for young adults struggling with anxiety. By providing guidance, support, and practical strategies, mentors can help your teen manage their anxiety and develop greater resilience and self-confidence.

Click here to book a free 15 minute consultation to see if mentoring is right for your child.

Generation Z Perfectionism – The Real Cause and Cure

 Generation Z Perfectionism

A recent study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review suggested that” parents and social-cultural factors, including a rise in social media, contributed to increasing rates of Millennial Perfectionism”.

Dr. Simon Sherry suggests that “Millennials are more inclined to have unrealistic standards and harsher self-criticism than previous generations”.

It further stated that “perfectionism is a serious and even deadly epidemic in modern western societies”.

They are partially correct.

I have been Mentoring Millennials and am now Mentoring GenZ teens and young adults since 2001. I spend around 1000 hours a year face to face with these young adults on Skype or Zoom and I have experienced a different take on the challenges.

Life Coaching for Young Adult Perfectionism

I have experienced over and over again as a life coach for young adults how life coaching can transform a young adult stuck in the thrall of perfectionism into a successful action-based person.

An example of Transforming Young Adult Perfectionism

  • Meet Rose. A Millennial Pefectionist :

One of our Mentees at World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc.

She is one of the most brilliant writers I know.
Give her a subject and she will find the perfect tone..
the perfect points..
but she can’t finish a paper..
so she keeps failing at school.

Transforming Young Adult Perfectionism into success.

Study finds rise in millennial perfectionism, parents and social media blamed

Life Coaches for Young Adults – The Right One

Choosing the right life coaches for young adults
Mentoring Young Adults shares how to choose life coaches for young adults

Find life coaches for young adults is becoming easier and easier these days.

Find the right life coaches for young adults is becoming more challenging.  How do you find the right life coach for your child and how do you get your child on board when everything else they have tried either didn’t work or didn’t “stick”?

Three Great Things to Look For:

  1. Do they specialize in life coaching young adults?
  2. Have they listen to your concerns and offer practical new ways to find success?
  3. Will they see the Mentee twice a week to create positive new habits?

The Advantage of MentoringYoungAdults.com

Mentors who will life coach young adults from MentoringYoungAdults.com have gone through a rigorous screening procedure, seeking out those who are dedicated to mentoring young adults. Firstly, they have gone through a full year mentoring course taught by Ken Rabow focusing on mentoring young adults. Secondly, they have passed a series of tests to make sure they know how to communicate with the Mentee and the parents in a successful manner. There, however, some potential Mentors who don’t measure up or aren’t suited to be professional Mentors. Thirdly and most importantly, each Mentor must pass final exams to prove they have grasped the concepts the we train with them. In conclusion, a mentor for World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc. is one who can truly help your child rise above their challenges and find success in life.

What are the issues the MentoringYoungAdults.com can help your child with?

  1. Failure to launch.
  2. Depression in Young Adults.
  3. Teen Anxiety.
  4. Pot Addiction.
  5. School Failures and so much more.

How do you know if this program has the right life coaches for young adults for you?

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Life Coaching for Anxiety in Teens

Life Coaching for Anxiety in Teens can work when standard practices haven’t.

Anxiety in Teens can present itself in many ways:

  • Constant Fear of failure.
  • Occasional Fear of the unknown.
  • On-going Fear of going “out there” and so many more.

Three Tools that Allow Life Coaching for Anxiety in Teens to Succeed

  1. Action-based goals focusing on “doing” rather than what is not working.
  2. A judgement-free place where the teen can look at their actions and make concrete choices that empower them.
  3. Co-creating daily routines and learning what sabotages simple daily tasks and how to “pierce the target” to success.

The Challenges to Life Coaching for Anxiety in Teens:

The Mentee has to be open to making change in their lives and ideally has voiced the opinion (even occasionally) that they don’t really know how to move forward to rise above the challenge of anxiety in teens.

They have to be willing to try at least one session. At that point, we try to do meet for four weeks, twice a week on Skype or Zoom and see if this is the proper way to help using life coaching for anxiety in teens.
Millennials have been know as the Anxiety Generation and now Generation Z is seeing an even greater upsurge in anxiety in teens.

The Advantage of Life Coaching for Anxiety In Teens

The great thing about life coaching for anxiety in teens is that it transformative in 90% of the teens who try it.

Working in a non-judgmental based mentor/mentee program where the Mentee is empowered to try new ways of setting goals and making them come true is life changing. The positive effects are permanent and it helps in all aspects of life.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

COVID-19 MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

Mental Health Support is sorely lacking these days for Millennials and Generation Z young adults (people in their teens, 20’s and early 30’s). For them, mental health issues pose a great challenge.

At MentoringYoungAdults.com we have been helping young adults with Mental Health issues since 2001 with issues such as: anxiety; depression; bi-polar disorder; schizophrenia; and situational related issues. Our success helping young adults comes from using a mentoring support system created by Ken Rabow.

In our regular mentoring work, many of our mentees talk about so many of their friends suffering from mental health issues with no one to talk to. With that in mind, we are now offering one of our greatest resources: Helena Mihelic-Rabow. A registered nurse with over 25 years experience in the mental health field as a psychiatric nurse.

Helena will be offering 30 minute and 60 minute consultations. She is here to help young adults suffering with mental health issues choose a path forward and provide a sympathetic ear.

Many young adults find that self-sabotage is a great challenge in dealing with their mental health issues. Our program can help diminish and eventually eliminate self-sabotage.

If you would like to take one our mental health consultations, click on the link below to book a time that is good for you.

Cost: $60 for 30 minutes. $100 for 60 minutes

Book 30 minute Consultation with Helena Mihelic-Rabow – Click Here

Book 60 minute Consultation with Helena Mihelic-Rabow – Click Here

How to Help a Teen Recover from Self-Sabotage

There seems to be an epidemic of teens failing at school, teens failing at success and teens failing at life. Clearly, the big question on so many parent’s mind is how to help a teen recover from self-sabotage.

As teen life coaches, our job at World Wide Youth Mentoring is to empower teens to help them recover from self-sabotage.

Here are four tips on how to help a teen recover from self sabotage.

Just-in-timers to Good Enough-ers

One of the big challenges teens and young adults have today is that they are too smart for early school years. Clearly, there are some who can get good grades or “get along” in the early school years without much effort. Effectively,  they have untrained themselves to have good study habits.

This ends when they hit a grade level where their grades drop precipitously and they are “no longer magic”. Now come the coping mechanisms. Many end up saying to themselves “if I choose to fail and I do, then I’ve won”. Subsequently, you have the beginnings of self-sabotage.

Step One in how to help a teen recover from self-sabotage

Find a teen life coach. A person who deals with the different ways teens self-sabotage. Who knows how to redirect self-sabotaging teens towards focusing on goals, challenges and sign-posts of success. Interestingly, that is the recipe to change a teen’s mindset from fear and anxiety to problem solving

teen-self-sabotage
Finding ways to help teens who self sabotage succeed

. They learn to search for ways that work.

Step Two in how to help a teen recover from self-sabotage

Separate yourself. Allow your teen mentor to do their work. Make sure they invite you to have input through email communications. You get a vacation from being judge, jury and executions and get to be a supportive parent again. Send emails to the teen life coach on issues ranging from school failures, hygiene issues, communication issues etc. Let the mentor and your child work on those issues and then share with you when your child is ready.

Step Three in how to help a teen recover from self-sabotage

Discovery: A life coach for teen’s most powerful tools are establishing goals, determining sign-posts of success, creating a daily routine and learning with the client in a judgment-free environment. First of all, this needs to be a time where the teen life coach and the teen find what works and what doesn’t work. As Wayne Dyer would say: “Either I’m getting it right, or I’m learning”.

Step Four in how to help a teen recover from self-sabotage

Teamwork: As your child begins to succeed, it is time to reacquaint yourself with this new successful person. Find a teen life coach who specializes in helping families work together. This work should be done only after the successes begin for your child.

Know a teen who could use help to recover from self-sabotage? Find out more here

Know someone who would like to mentor teens recovering from self-sabotage?  Click here

Generation Z: The Anxiety Generation?

Gen Z are labelled the Anxiety Generation for good reason.

As a life coach for Generation Z, the anxiety generation, I spend roughly 1000 hours a year face to face with Young Adults. We meet through Zoom world-wide. I mentor Young Adults who are not doing well in life. One of the main causes is Anxiety, followed by self-sabotage and failure to launch. One could easily believe that this is truly the anxiety generation.

What is fascinating about Generation Z is how extraordinary they are.

Gen Z’s are extraordinary in non-linear thinking, embracing new concepts (like Big Data).  and in caring about their peers (virtual or real-life).

Once they have gone through life coaching, Gen Z’s often find their way towards daily micro-successes. They learn how to assess what they do in their lives in a non-judgmental fashion. Most importantly, they learn how to breath and get back into their bodies. How to get  out of their heads. The Gen Z’s who do this find a great deal of their anxiety goes away permanently.

Blanket diagnosing of Gen Z’s with all forms of anxiety is happening on all fronts. Professionals, parents and the young adults themselves witness the effects of a person who feels unsafe in the world. Anxiety becomes their self-diagnosis. To have Gen Z’s understand the underlying issues requires a different way of looking at things.

So many Gen Z’s feel safer in the virtual world then in the real world.

They feel uncomfortable advocating for themselves in words and writing.  Tweeting is their gateway to communication. They would rather give in to the many self-soothing vices like video-gaming, social media and weed, then figure out how to communicate to the “others”.

When we never look down as we hammer things, it’s easy to blame the hammer for our bruised finger instead of the fact we never learned to really look at what is going on.

Self Diagnosing vs Professional Diagnosing of Anxiety

People who self-diagnose and those who have been given a diagnose of anxiety disorder need to realize one thing; you are greater than your labels. For those who self-diagnose or who have professional diagnoses of depression they share a truth. Both are suffering, need understanding and need to rise above perceived limitations.

Is Anxiety the New Cyberdonian Excuse?

I do not believe people use anxiety as an excuse for being stressed out. 95% of the Gen Z’s I mentor suffer from anxiety. It is no less debilitating if they have been professionally diagnosed or not.

My heart breaks when I see them suffering as they do. The thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that I have overcome my own crippling personal anxiety where I could not function, I could not get into a subway car, an elevator, a plane or even a car and I know that with the techniques a good life coach for young adults can provide Millennials, they can rise above these debilitating anxieties just as I did.

Unless you are in a person’s shoes…

you cannot know how hard anxiety can be to do battle with on a day-to-day basis. Every time Gen Z’s attempt to rise above their challenges they are performing quit acts of bravery. Victory is not the true measure of their bravery.

To those suffering with anxiety, I say to you: Have faith, seek out mentors, align with those who see you as more then your labels. I believe in Gen Z’s as the generation who will help this world get on track. Heaven knows we need it.

Know a young adult in need of mentoring? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

Interested in Mentoring Young Adults? Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Young Adult Self-Sabotage

Why are so many young people willing to self-sabotage every aspect of their potential future?
Young adult self-sabotage is everywhere. Not participating in class, not doing the required studying, staying up late, sleeping most of the day away and missing more and more school. For quite a few, video gaming and/or pot addiction is another big factor.

The most frustrating part of this is that these same people are very often gifted in some way and yet here they are ….. off the tracks.

Many young people today are able to thrive or at least get by in a nuclear or single parent family, learning from their caregivers and finding other elders to learn from at school, sports, dance, music, etc. These young people grow through the ritual of daily tasks of homework, tests and projects. Graduation becomes their rite of passage. But what if your child does not connect to such a system? This creates young adult self-sabotage.

You’ve tried it all — traditional therapy, behavioral therapy, conditioned response, pharmaceuticals, begging, pleading, tough love — and some of it worked for a while and some didn’t work at all.

Young adults sabotage can leave all concerned feeling hopeless sometimes.
Feeling that your child will never grow up and take responsibility, but it has been my experience that some alternative approaches can make a world of difference. Once your troubled teen or young adult goes beyond their regular world filled with all the trappings that keep him/her where they are and finds a support system with a mentor / life- coach who is non-judgmental, on their side and open to thinking “outside the box”, that child will become motivated to start the process of getting back on track.

Four ways to create success for a troubled teen or young adult.

  1. 1. Find a mentor to work with your child.
    Someone not from the immediate family, preferably through Skype. Skype sessions allow the client to learn positive new habits at the place where they usually get in trouble: their computers.

Have the mentor ask the student these pertinent questions:
a) Name three goals you would like to work on.
b) What are the challenges to those goals?
c) What would be the first sign-posts of success?

2. The mentor and the student can put together a daily routine based on the student’s goals and interests
(e.g. meditation, yoga, tai chi, weight lifting, biking, jogging, playing an instrument, singing and reading). Basically all the things we were told that have no real financial benefit. Start with two 5 – 15 minute routines to be attempted five to six days a week. Then slowly build up to as many routines that the client feels they can comfortably handle. (Five is a good final number.) Make a weekly worksheet that divides the tasks into columns. Make room for the student to write the duration of each daily exercise (0-20). The goal of these exercises is to empower the student. These exercises are self-motivated without help from the family.

3. Hold bi-weekly meetings discussing progress.
Looking at existing obstacles and exploring solutions to these obstacles in a non-judgmental way. Therapy works well in once-a-week sessions. Mentoring / life coaching young adults requires two times a week. We are building whole new structures to succeed. This requires six to nine months of twice-a-week support until the client has internalized the habits.

4. During these sessions the mentor asks: 
“If you could do anything at all with your life, without concern of how you would make it happen, what would you choose?”
With this answered, the mentor and the student can go about finding ways to put their toes into the pond of these life purpose quests. Whittling away at young adult self-sabotage. It could be a 12-week workshop, a college class, a volunteer position or starting a small business. This time is used to help the student bring his “daily work” training into these new situations. To enhance his successful patterns accordingly. For so many young people, their home has been their box of safety and joy. Something they find wonderful and yet limiting . . . not a good long-term strategy.

Mentoring young adults is an important goal is to help these newly empowered youth create the tools they need. Allowing them  to feel safe going out into the world successfully. To eradicate young adult self-sabotage, you need to create mini-boxes of safety for them to thrive in. Places where they can learn to be self-empowered. Without exception, students who go through the entire process choose self-empowerment over self-sabotage. They not only succeed but most often become examples of leadership in their chosen vocation.

Help your child find their inspiration and get on track for a successful life!

Know a teen or young adult in need of mentoring? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

Interested in Mentoring Millennials? Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Young Adult Depression and Life Coaching

How can we transform young adult depression? One of the things I hear more often than anything else as a mentor for young adults is parents asking for help with their child’s school failures, depression, low self-esteem video game (and/or pot) addiction.

Often the depression seems most prevalent on both the parent’s and the potential Mentee’s (the young adult in question) mind. What I often say to this is: “Most of us tend to remember things in reverse order”.

Reverse Memory Syndrome with Young Adult Depression:
When a Mentee has a “discussion” with his or her parent for the bazillionth time about why they stay up so late, the parents tell the young person why they are doing it and why it’s wrong. Their child tries to explain what is really going on. Neither side listens. Voices raise and finally the Mentee tells the parents to do something that is anatomically impossible. That’s when the parents say: “We just tell you how you need to be more responsible about going to sleep at a good time and all you do is shout and scream and curse at us”. That is reverse memory syndrome. The escalation and the accusing gets lost as a factor in the final result.

Reverse memory syndrome is often the reason why the depression is foremost on the minds of the people who contact me with the issues stated above. Let’s deconstruct the actual order of events for these clients and parents contacting me.

When Millennials were magic.
This generation is the first one that was told that actually everything they did was perfect. They were the best crayoners; the best howlers; the best poopers; and everybody got a medal when they “competed”… (you wonder why they think they’re magic).

For this particular group, they were able to pull off acceptable or really good marks out of their butts at the last minute at school and of course, Mumzy and Dadzy told them “they were magic”!!

Until they weren’t magic anymore.
Fast forward to the time when pulling marks out your butt (beside being non-hygienic) no longer works for our magic client. What comes next? False epiphanies.

Most of the people I meet have at some time come up to “issues” that blocked them in their lives. When natural talent wasn’t enough anymore. At that point, if they come up with “gee, I better learn some new study habits and work harder” I never get to see them. However, if they go for the false epiphanies: “My magic is gone”, “I am stupid”, “The world is not safe” or “If I choose to fail and I do… then I’ve won”, that’s when they are getting into choosing bad coping mechanisms.

What are those coping mechanisms? Self-medication (Video games or pot), anxiety, negative self-speak (low self-esteem) or depression.

Being careful with issues such as young adult depression.
There are thee kinds of depression that one comes across as a mentor for young adults.

1) Situation-based depression where the client’s constant failures and inability to find a way out lead to depression.

2) Negative self-speak depression. Where the mind has stopped being a motivational force and has become the worst in-your-head parent constantly leading to you towards self-defeat. This requires learning to retrain the mind through mindfulness-based exercises (meditation, visualization or things like yoga).

3) True clinical depression; a chemical imbalance requiring mental health professionals to do what they do best and help find the best way to get back that proper balance.

When it comes to clinical young adult depression, a Mentor’s job is make sure that a good mental health specialist is onboard, chosen by the family and that we help make sure that this label is not all that the client becomes but is a new starting point to help that client find their personal powers.

For situation-based and negative self-speak based depression, we begin with choosing goals, the challenges to those goals and the first indicators of success, creating micro-successes through daily routines chosen by the Mentee and with the Mentee in charge. The Mentor’s job is to let the client walk every step of that journey and simply help them out of dead ends in a way that speaks to the client.

We teach the Mentee organization skills that makes sense to them in incremental stages. How to pick the best times to succeed in adding studying into their lives when it seemed impossible before. They learn how to advocate for themselves with teachers, school staff and parents (seeing both sides of the equation). This can really change things in young adult depression.

We work on finding the mindfulness-bases system that best works for them
Deep Breathing, Visualization, Meditation or, for some, Prayer. The client starts in five or ten minute increments. Beginning by doing the work first with their mentors and slowly being able to do it on their own over time. This is the beginning of self-motivated empowerment.

The big take away.
Everyone tends to see things in reverse. Become a detective, free of judgment and go back and look for false epiphanies, coping mechanisms and most importantly, seek out people outside the family to help Mentor the child and the family to find that person’s true magic. It is there, waiting to be found.

How Life Coaching Young Adults can make profound change.

Life Coaching Young Adults is an alternative way to help young adults with depression find a new way forward. Instead of focusing on what is not working, we help the Mentee create practical goals in their lives.

Once they begin working on these goals, the challenges to these goals and the first sign-posts of success, they are training themselves to look for  solutions (with the help of our Mentors) and make consistent micro-successes. These micro-successes help build up an earned self-worth the reduces depression and, in fact, builds up positive self-speak to believe that with work and trial and error, they can succeed in life.

Ask for a free 15 minute consultation.

Check out the payment options and see if one is right for you.

Interested in mentoring young adults? Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Know a young adult in need of mentoring? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

Young Adults Failing at University

Young adults failing at university. This is the time of year where old habits get in the way of troubled teens and young adults in school.
The Just-in-Time habits from high school have not helped in mentoring young adults to succeed in college/university. This is where life coaching young adults in new ways to succeed is desperately needed.

In fact, these just-in-time habits have raised a lot of university student’s anxiety levels about whether they will or will not succeed to the point of the inevitability of failure in their minds. Most young people’s response: Ignore it and maybe it will go away… it doesn’t. This can also bring on major depression.

I have good news and bad news.

Bad news:  Dealing with young adults failing at University; The likelihood of them sharing these troubles with their parents is between zero and not-a-chance-in-hell. Not because they don’t care. Because they often care too much and don’t want to disappoint and unfortunately, the internet has trained them to one great Millennial truth: if life is overwhelming there are unlimited ways to get quick gratification through gaming; facebooking; youtubing and many other wonderful diversions.

Good news: Chances are your Millennials really does care and just doesn’t know how to move forward. Let us share with you some tips that really help the young adults we life coach.

Here are five simple steps to help your Young Adults Failing at University:

1) Your calendar is your friend. Write down in your calendar all of your classes (one color) all of your tutorials (another color) papers (a third color) and exams (you guessed it). Put in reminders for the first class of the day and any classes that are after more than a one-hour break.
2) Pick your reading times in each day. Once you have your outline of the stuff you have to show up for, it is easier to figure out what days and times are best to do the required readings.
3) Reading requirements: Go through all reading requirements and keep notes about when you do what and how you are required to do it.
4) Gravitate to the kids-who-care. There is usually an area in classes where students are who actually care about their work. Get in that area. Make connections with the ones that seem like they might be good to create study groups with.
5) Your teachers and T.A’s are your best resource. When s**t hits the fan and you are having problems, teachers and T.A’s are a great resource to get on track.

Parents
To get these things working requires an outside person; a Mentor. Someone who does not have all the history of issues in the past. Someone who can say things you may have suggested in a way that your child will actually do! That is why it is so helpful to seek out life coaching for young adults.

I train Life Coaches and Mentors to work with troubled teens and young adults struggling with these issues and what we find is that families the invest in a Mentor for the children are helping the whole family succeed.

Success in school: success in family communication; success in organization and so much more. Consider getting a Life Coach / Mentor for young adults as one of the best investments you could ever choose!

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

Ken

Interested in mentoring young adults? Click here.

If your child is in serious mental health crisis, please look into it immediately. This link is a good staring place. Click here. When things are more settled, life coaching can be a great addition to a complete program.

Getting Your Child A Youth Life Coach

If you searched for a Youth Life Coach. You probably found us.
If you are reading this then you have spoken with Ken and you felt that a youth life coach for your child is definitely worth investigating and now comes the tricky part (for some)… how to get your child onboard with life coaching for young adults.
You may have called about depression, anxiety, video game addiction, pot 
addiction or one of the other many things we specialize in with mentoring young adults.

 Here are four different ways to go about getting your child on board with a Youth Life Coach:
If none of them work on your child, don’t give up. Contact us and we will see if we can find another way to help get your child onboard.

 Try a Month
1) “I was just speaking to Ken Rabow. He’s a life coach for young adults and he seems like he has an interesting way of helping people in similar situations to yours’. I would really appreciate it if you would try it for four weeks and if you decide it might be helpful you can continue. If you don’t, then I promise not to bug you about it again”.

Try One Session
2) “If you don’t feel you want to try one month, how about trying just one session with Ken. I promise that if you do that and if you don’t like it, I won’t bug you again. It’s life coaching for young adults not therapy. You don’t have to talk about your life”.

We Will Stop Arguing
3) “Look… there are a lot of things around here that we aren’t happy about and you are not happy about us nagging you about them. Ken Rabow says he can eliminate that and make your life easier and our lives easier. Try one session. Maybe a youth life coach can help”.

Ken Will Call You
4) Tell your child that you are letting  a life coach for young adults named Ken Rabow contact them to chat for a few minutes and you will let them see what they decide. Then email Ken at info@wwym.org and give Ken the text number for your child and permission to text them about life coaching for young adults sessions.

If all else fails but you believe this might work… don’t give up.
Your child has trained all their life to trip up things that you suggest that they don’t want to do. We are happy to help you find a new way that works for you guys. Remember, we are there for the family as well as the client (your child). Email us and let us know where it stands. It might not be the right time but we can sew the seeds for when your child knows they need something new.

Life coaching young adults can really help when counselling young adults hasn’t. It is empowering for the client and helps them rise above their challenges.

Good luck!!!

Ken Rabow
Founder and CEO
World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc.
www.WWYM.org

Know someone who would like to learn to Mentor Young Adults? Click here.

You Haven’t Failed If You Are Still Trying: Teens Failing School

As a life coach / Mentor for teens failing at school, young adults and their families,
a great deal of my work is with teens failing school. Teenagers in jeopardy of completely failing their school year or Millenials now living at home, playing video games all day, who have given up on life after failing and dropping out of University. So maybe it’s best to say that me and the Mentors I train are turn-your-life-around coaches.

Each time we meet with parents, there is an unspoken question in each of their minds, followed by what I imagine is an even harsher version of inner self-flagellation and screaming in their minds: “I am a bad parent!” The truth is: If you are still trying, even if your child’s life seems down the crapper, you are a good parent. Bad parents are those who have given up and accepted failure for their child.

You are a good parent – you’re here to help!
Every person is a person with potential, many of those young adults whose talents do not catch on fire from the standard models can do great things in life. No therapy; micro-managing; freedom or meditative chanting: “go do your work!… go do your work!! …. go do your work!!!” will help.

You have done your work. Loved them, nurtured them and allowed them the space to find their own path and guess what? Many of our most inspirational leaders were exactly these kinds of people; Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein and many more. I wonder how their parents felt in the rocky school years.

What should you do for the young adults for whom counseling did not work? How will this help teens failing school?
In fact, what these young adults need is someone outside their circle of friends and family to create a safe space for them to stop their whole world twice a week, help them take a deep breath, exhale their fears and self-doubts and look at where they are in their lives. Getting them to ask themselves if they are truly ready to make meaningful changes in their lives one micro-success at a time. It rarely works with people too close to them. Think of all the people we have always had around us in tribes and families throughout time. These were the Mentors. We have lost those mentors for the most part but there is a new solution: Professional Mentors. Instead of going down to the village hut, you bring the Mentor to the young adult through Skype on their computer, changing the place they run away from the world, which is why we have so many teens failing school, to a place they go to for personal growth.

It is proven over and over without a shadow of a doubt that so many of the parents have done great parenting once these young people show that they are now ready to consider empowering themselves in some positive, but alternative way. Just by considering it, their lives are put on a better path. Once you have found that good mentor for your child, make sure that, with your permission, they contact your child allowing a greater likelihood of your child considering it. You child has heard too many parental promises of the perfect, guaranteed “fixes” that have just led to the opposite of success. (Who is to blame?)

The path of teens failing school are not carved in stone,
it is carved in silicone. Their greatness lies in the fact that although they live in the on-line world of the Internet, they are so much more than that. Their minds are open to so many possibilities and it is the older generation’s duty to teach them how to interact and translate their on-line greatness in to the “real world”. This is the job of professional Mentors.

Once the Mentor and client start to choose goals towards their growth, they begin a bouncy path, two steps forward, one step bong until that young adult is ready to find the keys towards success; at school, at family; at life.
Suddenly, teens failing school becomes the first step towards a better way.

Not everything is supposed to be done inside the family unit. It’s OK.
Let me share with you a Rollo May quote:

Tell the child,
“Look, I love you, I believe in you.
I know you are going through a lot of upset the only thing that counts
is that in the long run, you find out who you are and you live it.”

Here is my challenge to you: Go find a mentor who will heal the family dynamic, and like the pied piper, play a tune that inspires the child and unlike the pied piper creates greatness in the child and harmony in the family. It can be done. Just believe and if you believe… you are on a new and better path.

Know a young adult in need of mentoring? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

Interested in mentoring Young Adults? Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Life Coaching Young Adults: Creating Communication

As someone who trains Boomers and Gen X’ers in the art of life coaching young adults,

I often find that the best examples to explain my work to those wanting to know the secrets of working with young adults, comes from my own personal practice life coaching young adults. Today’s topic is: Mentoring Young Adults: Helping Parents and Teens Communicate or How to I Learned to Stop Screaming.

Although most people seeking help in life coaching for young adults are usually dealing with school failures, social anxiety, depression, pot or video game addiction (or both), it doesn’t take long until the other shoe drops. Parents and young adults with an equal and well earned disdain for each other. Its not that they don’t love each other, there are just too many war wounds to be ignored. What do we end up with? Each side shouting their “truths” across the room while neither side truly hears the other. How do we get to truly life coaching young adults from that place?

Want to get your child to not do something? 

Tell them you think it’s important!

Want to get a parent to nix an idea?

Have their child tell them that they think it’s a great idea!

How did it come to this?
How do we change it?
(You know what I am going to say… don’t you?)

Change comes from outside the family unit… through a professional Mentor/Life Coach.

Here are the tried and true steps I use on a regular basis and that the Mentors I train find immensely helpful (as do the families).

The 7 Steps to Transforming Miscommunication into Co-creation using life coaching for young adults.

Step 1: Parent identifies issues:

school issues, home issues, personal mental health issues (anxiety included). This is our first consultation either by phone or Skype.

Step 2: Mentor meets with mentee:

(the client is the young adult) and establishes goals, the challenges to those goals and the first sign-posts of success. This usually occurs in the first one hour Zoom session, the only time it doesn’t is when clients come to me as the sky is falling (read that as massive school failures that can no longer be ignored). We deal with putting out fires first and the on to the Goals; Challenges and Sign-Posts of Success. Zoom is the best way to reach young adults (vs in person therapy) as you are doing positive, healthy work with them in the place they tend to get messed up the most; their internet portal. This is how we show the mentee how life coaching young  adults can be of help to them.

Step 3: Parents are freed from having to play “cop”.

You get to let go of the head-butting, enjoy each other and email your Mentor the “issues” that keep coming up. Mentor and mentee look at each issue, and learn how to put them in perspective, how to communicate and advocate for themselves and how to understand the “other’s” perspective.

Step 4: Poop hits the fan.

So, you have all agreed to try life coaching for young adults. Both sides knew the calm would be short-lived. Something happens. The parents blame their child. The mentee isn’t responding to what they are saying but just yells back at the same decibel level: “Call Ken! Call Ken!” That p**ses off the parent even more (really not how I suggested to use the Mentor-in-the-middle get-out-of-jail-free card at all). The Mentor gets the client to hear the parents. The parents get to not want everything that has never been done to be done RIGHT NOW!!!! We all agree on a reasonable incremental way forward that makes sure everyone is heard. Fan de-pooped.

Step 5: The parent confession:

This is where I usually get a call or email from one parent thanking me and then calling themselves an awful parent. This is where I tell them the real truth: “You are a great parent! An awful parent gives up, doesn’t care or doesn’t notice. You are a parent who needs support from a Mentor to help you with a child who doesn’t respond to whatever worked when you were parented by your parent. That to me is not only a good parent but a wise parent.

Step 6: The mentee confession:

The Mentors that are now working with mentees through us are always amazed that our clients often share their truths about their short-comings and their frustrations in now knowing how to get out of those problems. That is why the system is based on empowering young people and not focusing on the failures. Next.. Mentee and Mentor go back to work. Parents send emails and the Mentee/Mentor team incorporate their home issues with the goals the client wanted to focus on. It works. Things get better. The mentee starts to succeed at school, at their personal issues, and at communicating.

Step 7: A new way of communication

The goal of life coaching young adults is create new ways of communication  for mentees and parents. “Open Listening”. First the Mentor trains the client in the system. We practice on friends or family members willing to try new things. Finally we show the family how to use it during confrontations. Would you like to know how open listening works?

What is co-creation?

It’s where both sides share their concerns, each side listens with an open heart to the other and together the create a new way forward. As missteps happen, both sides communicate, evaluate and recalibrate.

Interested in life coaching young adults professionally   Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Know a young adult in need of life coaching? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

Teen Schizophrenia is not a four letter word.

Was this the start of Teen Schizophrenia?
Meet Drake
. At 15, He felt unsafe around his friends when he was at home. Afraid he might show his “quirks” and they would judge him or maybe say mean things about him. Alone at home a lot, he started to imagine “another me” to keep him company.

No one knew.

At school he was sociable. But the “other me” started talking to him more and more. Distracting him constantly and making him do things. Turn on and off the lights 5 times. Check the locks. Again. Again. Again.

At 16, the voice became meaner. Never stopping. Telling him that people were going to break in every night. The locks didn’t make a difference. Less sleep. More coffee. Less sleep. More coffee.

OK. Changing the subject.

When I used to play in Jazz clubs (back in the day), there was smoke all around us. I was not a fan of the smoke. What I didn’t know was; it was the reason I started getting horrible sinusitis. The pain was unbearable and constant. It went past physical pain, partly because of its non-stop, unceasing duration but also from the lack of sleep. The combination of sleep deprivation and long-term pain does something to a person that is hard to explain without experiencing it.

I remember looking at my bedroom wall and really considering that smashing my head against that wall over and over might be a really good way to minimize the pain. I didn’t do it but it seemed like a true option at the time.

Reality Sets In

You know, I never realized until this moment, as I am writing this, that doing that might have killed me. This may sound weird but until this moment, I never considered how it would have affected me. That’s the thing about being in the middle of pain, we see options… often bad options but we don’t see anything beyond trying to stop the pain.

That’s what I am told by my clients, who have suffered that pain of mental illness, is what they feel like when they are in the midst of their pains. They may not be hitting their head against a wall; it may be drugs, risky behaviors, avoiding the world or even attempting something that could also end in permanent injury or even death… all they care about, at that moment, is ending the constant pain.

To the people who care about people dealing with teen Schizophrenia:

Once this young person chooses “the other way”, all the people around them see is the consequences. “Didn’t you know that if you did “X” you would end up “Y””. It is understandable for those around you to feel this because the process of suffering is so often done in the dark. The sufferers try to protect those around them and some feel that by minimizing it, it may go away.

So blame is a dead-end street in Teen Schizophrenia.

How do we go on from here?

Back to Drake:

At 17, the voice was a constant torment.

It would say terrible things about the people around him and make him wonder about what people were thinking about him. His only salvation was knowing that someone on the TV really cared about him (or so he imagined).

Drake was still keeping all this to himself but it was getting harder and harder to do so. The pain kept getting worse until the idea of getting high to run away from all of this sounded like a good idea and it worked! At least for the first few times, then… the damn broke. The weed made it impossible to hide how he was feeling. Ashamed, fed up and unable to bear the voice he decided to jump of a bridge into two feet of water.

Drake woke up in the hospital and spent the next year between medical care and mental health facilities.

When we met, a year after his discharge, he was able to get around in a wheelchair. He was sober and ready to work. One of the first things he said to me was he hoped that he would never walk again, as he seemed to be a better person now. He was on meds that were working. I pointed out to him that what made him different now was that he didn’t have to hide from Schizophrenia. He could seek out help and we could work on getting back into finding his personal greatness. It wasn’t the “not walking”.

It has been two years now that we have working together. Drake is back at university and getting high 80’s in the courses he likes. He has stated: “I should be doing that make me happy not crap that make me feel complacent” and so we work on courses and past-times he loves and not done to please others. He helps so many friends and even people he chances upon in is daily journeys. He does wheelchair basketball, guitar, has chosen his vocation in life and I know he will excel at it. His new girlfriend and him communicate brilliantly and are there for each other.

Some Truths About Teen Schizophrenia

Sometimes though, he says: “I am overwhelmed by becoming the new me“. That’s OK too. But none of this was possible until he embraced what he was suffering with and could seek help from others who would not see him as a label but as an amazing person, ready to contribute to our society, in need of guidance.

If you are someone going through dealing with teen schizophrenia… know that there is help out there.

If you are a parent suffering in seeing your child dealing with teen schizophrenia.. know that once things are stabilized, your child can still find greatness in their lives and that their challenge can help them be more of a help to others in life.

If you are someone who wants to Mentor young adults with mental health issues… know that by studying a Mentoring course, specializing in young adults and mental health, you can change lives with one or two years of part-time training.

Let’s change the world!

Interested in mentoring millennials? Check out www.MentorsProfessionalWorkshop.com

Know a millennial in need of mentoring? Check out www.MentoringYoungAdults.com

If you or someone you know is at risk please contact your nearest Crisis Centre or call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 to speak to a counsellor 

Young Adult Hygiene – Getting Kids to Brush!

Young Adult Hygiene:

Once parents begin to see real changes in their teens, they take me aside and in a hushed voice they ask: “Do you think you could get him/her… to brush?” Young adult hygiene: the band of many parent’s existence.

Brushing and showering are often the most daunting things to get young people to buy into on a regular basis these days. (Less so, once they start having a regular dating partner)
I have found a simple way to get young adults to bring showering and tooth brushing into their daily routines.
I will share it with you but first you must let go of three things:

Three things you must relinquish:

1) Stop thinking that they are disgusting aliens for not doing what you think is common sense.. It is not common sense to them. It is, in fact, equally alien to do it.
2) Let go of any guilt you may have about this “issue”. It really isn’t about you. It really is about them.
3) Free yourself from judging, checking, testing etc. If it hasn’t worked by now, it will not only not work, it will make them equate doing these things with “giving in”.

The Magic Young Adult Hygiene Formula:

Errr. There is no magic formula. Sorry 🙁
But wait! There is good news! I really do get all my clients to brush and bathe but it is a slow process.

The basics of WWYM Life Coaching is using some self-chosen tasks and a daily scheduler to help young people get things done that are external i.e. not what they feel like doing at the moment but things they had determined in advance that they would like to be able to do.
Once we have this system working (it takes about 12 weeks) we can add personal hygiene items and these issues slowly resolve themselves with very little effort.
The trick is having them decide that it makes sense in a rational time (our sessions) and then go about deciding what a good starting point might be.

For those who never brush, it might be brushing five times a week. Now, I’m sure a lot of people reading this would say that this isn’t good hygiene and won’t prevent their teeth from rotting.
But once you can instill a habit in somebody, it is not that more difficult to get them to brush six days out of seven. Then to brush twice a day and eventually, it becomes a habit that is automatic.

What we consider “obvious” is not to them.

It therefore requires the patient steady training and the explanation of the advantage of daily habits. It works and it works without having to nag!

So what about showering? Follow the same formula. If they rarely do it, find a few days a week that might be good practice targets for showering. It has to fit into a routine and you have to make sure that it makes sense to mix into their habits.

Do you have a story about young adult hygiene? Let us know and we’ll share it!

Update: 5 years later… how goes the young adult hygiene challenge?
The Daily Scheduler really works! We have now added morning brushing and nite-time brushing in the daily routine. If I get 8 or more out of 14 brushing incidences, I am a happy Mentor 🙂

Now… about flossing. I explain how it has been said that the easiest way to add three years to your lives is to floss. (literally 0 Millenials I work with floss). I explain about the easy access for bacteria to get into gums with gum disease. Then I mention that if you don’t floss, you have rotting meat between your teeth. That can sometimes get us to add flossing.. once a day… a few times a week. It’s a start!

Now on to video game addiction

Interested in mentoring young adults? Click here.

Check out Ken Rabow’s blogs on Mentoring Young Adults: click here

Top 10 Tips to Eliminate Homework Problems

What happens when you bring up homework problems? You hear this: Why bother? I won’t need it in “real life”.

This is the question heard over and over again in bedrooms, school hallways and principals waiting rooms for as long as there has been chalk. How to fix student’s homework problems?

No one can tell you what will help you subject-wise in the future but the one thing I can guarantee you is that if you can master self-discipline in learning new things and being able to talk intelligently on the subject afterwards, you will do well in whatever you do.

It’s the process – not the subject

The tips below have been worked on by many of my students who have gone from average or failing grades to 80’s and higher. More importantly, the skills will be helpful in growing in this every-changing world.

Tips to Transform Homework Problems:

1. Those who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it; they were talking about history but it could be pretty much anything. There is a big difference between beating yourself up about past mistakes and learning from them and moving on. There’s a whole other way to go and that’s denial. Don’t go there. It may feel good at the time but it doesn’t help. Learn from your mistakes and move on. We only get better by embracing our failures, dusting ourselves off and getting back on that exam bronco.

2. In Homework Problems: Sleep helps. Guarantee yourself an easier time to succeed (isn’t this what it’s all about?) by making sure you are well rested on school days. I know you’ve heard it before but make it be something that you choose to do for yourself. You’ll feel empowered.

3. Divide and conquer. It’s all about the notes. Good notes depend on how much of the important notes are in handouts, how much is in the texts and how much is in the class notes. Getting someone who has taken the class to give you the right blend of the three will go along way to having the right notes.

4. Keep your eyes on the prize. Your job is to figure out how to take good notes and to make sure that you can stay focused for the length of any given class. Too many smart students received less marks then they should have because they would tune out 30 minutes into the class. If your class is 45 minutes, find some interesting extra-curricular hobby that gets you to focus for that amount of time; meditation, martial art, discussion groups, debate clubs, chess… anything that gets you to push your concentration once or twice a week to the length of your regular school class. You’ll be amazed at how much better your note taking will be.

5. Teachers can help! The vast majority of teachers really want you to do well. Booking a time to meet with them and to understand what is important to them about their class will save you tons of guess-work and let you focus on what is really important in the class.

6. HTWFAIP – Anyone who knows me knows I rave about this book and for good reason. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a fantastic book that helps you understand how to appreciate people and benefit in your dealings with them. This may sound weird as a homework tip but there are times when stuff doesn’t go right. If you use the principles in that book when meeting with your teacher, you will find the best ways to succeed in any sticky situation. Remember, your parents will gladly stick up for you but you learn the most (for your entire life) by representing yourself.

7. Timing is everything: Paper training. How often have you waited to just before the deadline of one or more projects, only to realize that you also had to start getting ready for your exams.

Simple solution to homework problems:

a) Take the date you receive your project and the end date,
b) Divide those date in half and make that your new due-date.
c) Organize the time from your start date to your new due-date by dividing the tasks that have to happen (research, notes, first drafts, editing, etc.,). This gives you more time to organize your exams.

8. Exam prep.

If you have followed tips one to six, you have the basic prep for a successful exam schedule. Remember, we want you walking out of each of those exams knowing you kicked butt! If it is the only exam in that time period, give yourself three to five days to review and test yourself.

If it is one of a series of tests, do the following:

1) Look over all the exams you have to take,
2) Rate them on difficulty and amount of study time needed,
3) Make a time chart of when you need to focus on the upcoming exam and how much time you need to keep prepping for the tougher exams.

Burnt Brains may be a delicacy in some Indiana Jones flick but they have no place in your weekly note-taking world. If you are fuzzy, you cannot study. Save it for a time that won’t compromise learning: Friday nights, Saturday nights and summers. You may get to the point that many of my students get to that realize it really is never worth not “being there”.

9. Reward yourself!

Pick something you really like; a video game, a movie, a great album – and give yourself a 50/50 treat. X minutes of homework gives you x minutes of your treat. Guess what! I’m using that system right now to write this article.

10. Don’t Panic! The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy had it right. Of course they were talking about the Earth being made into an intergalactic parking lot and we are talking about your exams. They’re pretty close… except for the end of the world part.

The biggest enemies to good grades are bad prep and needless fears – the roots of most homework problems

Go back in your mind to a great exam that you felt good in and remember how you thought and felt. Let’s call this your “success place”. Whenever you are studying or going into and exam and fears come, recall your “success place”. Especially how it felt.

You are tying your future successes to positive feelings. It works for golfers, boxers, musicians and it will work for you.

There you have it. The keys are in your hands. It has helped many of my students to succeed at their very best. Remember, reward yourself for the good stuff and don’t get too hung up on the bumps along the way. Homework problems can be the key to life-long successes!

Want more Ken Rabow articles on mentoring young adults? Click here
Know someone who would like to learn to mentor young adults? click here

Mentoring Autistic Teens – Path to Greatness

A Families Story About Living with Autism:

In my work of mentoring autistic teens, I am struck with the level of trust, humility and indomitable spirit that I see in these families weekly on their paths to rising above others limitations of them. Mentoring autistic teens has been a truly transformative experience for me and it is such a pleasure to give the clients and the parents new tools to thrive in the world “out there”.

I would like to share one story with you from one of my clients and his mom’s perspective:

Mom’s Story:
I knew my son had a brilliance inside of him that was just waiting to come out … if we could just get past this “autism thing”. At 3 ½ years of age, Stephen was working with a speech pathologist to work on his receptive language skills. There was a set of blocks and a Winnie the Pooh figurine sitting side-by-side on the table.

Pathologist: “Okay Stephen, I want you to put the blocks in front of Winnie the Pooh”

Stephen turned Winnie a quarter turn, so that Winnie was no longer facing forward, but rather facing the blocks. From the sideways angle, the blocks were now in front of Winnie the Pooh on the table.

Wow!

Stephen:
I was seven years old when I got the diagnosis for autism and ADHD. At first I felt very angry at the person who made this diagnosis, because I thought they were saying something was wrong with me. We eventually learned to deal with the fact that I had Autism, and that I did have some problems.

The situation was looking very grim. That same year in late second grade, we used some ADHD medication to try to have me pay attention in class. The medication worked as intended, and I was able to pay attention to class, but the side effects were painful to my quality of life.

Mom: Some teachers “got” Stephen and some didn’t. The ones who “got” him had their hearts stolen by a little guy who filled their hearts with joy. We are truly grateful for the way that they connected with Stephen.

Stephen: The medication made it so that I would no longer feel hungry at the normal times when I should have a meal, and I began to get skinnier and skinnier until my ribs would show entirely, and I felt a significant lack of energy. Eventually the ADHD medication was dropped in favor of supplements as an alternative as I moved into the fourth grade. My body slowly but surely returned to its normal shape, and I was able to pay attention in class because of the supplements, which had a similar effect (such as the fish oil).

With all of these supplements, my academic level went up at almost at a superhuman rate. I was then able to move schools gradually until I got to where I am now.

Mom: A diagnosis is truly a double-edged sword. I tried, in the first few years to keep it a secret. But what I have learned is: don’t share this burden alone. Give others a chance to step up and help you lighten the load. Some won’t step up … they just don’t get it. But you would be amazed at how others do … including children.

Stephen: I am in a fairly mainstream school now. Most qualities of life that you would expect from perhaps an above average life have been fulfilled. I now have unlocked a higher piece of myself allowing me to write these articles that I share with others such as you.

Ken Rabow – A life coach specializing in mentoring teens: Although I hadn’t known it at the time, a standard test that Stephen would give potential mentor/therapists for Autistic kids was to talk about his complete feeling of betrayal by grownups and how they manipulated a basketball game with his fellow Asperger students vs. the local highest winning basketball team to let his team win.

Previous Mentors had told him to “get over it” whereas my response was “hey, let’s write an article about your feelings, shape them into a learning moment and see if HuffPo would publish it! They did ☺. This was a defining moment in Stephen believing his voice could and should be heard. To check out the article: click here.   Mentoring autistic teens is also about learning to really listen to what they are saying and meaning.

Stephen: The struggle with Autism has been quite the battle. Many tears were shed, many issues were fought, many goals were achieved, many hearts opened, many friends made and many lives changed.

Mom: I felt that it was always important to share how much he had grown with Stephen … especially on days when things weren’t going so well or when he was down on himself.

As someone mentoring autistic teens, here are some things that I would like to tell parents of children on the spectrum:

Try to not be totally devastated by the diagnosis. They are still the same lovable, adorable child that you had before and you can have the same dreams for them.

Don’t ever let other people put limits or ceilings on what your child can do. Trust your gut. Trust that inner brilliance that you see and work like hell to find people to help you pull it out. You can teach your child to behave in a neurotypical way.

Embrace your child’s differences and let yourself dream of the way that he or she might change the world.

Ken: Who better to share their thoughts then people who are living it? In mentoring autistic teens I have learned when to keep quiet and let them speak. I leave the last words of wisdom to my awesome client Stephen:

Stephen: So what is the moral of the story? I am talking to kids like me who have been given a diagnosis of Autism: You could say that where you are now is not necessarily where you will always be. My thought is that   nobody is only destined to one path.

I believe that the force of will is what determines success or failure, not fate, destiny or diagnosis. That most people on the autistic scale can reach the level that I have and perhaps even greater. They just need the right parenting, the right mentors, the right people in their lives and most importantly… persistence.

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Self-Sabotaging Teens and the Search for Success

There is a group of roughly 20% of our youth who are doing great in school, in relationships and in their lifestyles but for the majority of the young people today, being a self-sabotaging teen is the norm.

So many parents and teachers are finding more and more kids who are non-compliant to the point of failing to thrive, educationally, emotionally and/ or nutritionally. There have always been problems with getting teens and young adults to “get things going” but it seems that this generation is having more difficulty than we remember through the rose-colored memory glasses of our youth. They are the self-sabotaging teens.

What are the stumbling blocks that have so many young people today choosing to derail everything that they are given instead of testing their mettle and what are the remedies?
It comes down to three things:
1) Lack of Inspiration
2) Perfectionism
3) Instant gratification

Inspiration

Challenges for Self-Sabotaging Teens

For most teenagers, school, sports, music or other traditional organized interests offers a chance for them to see adult role models and pick what they want to incorporate into their own lives, but for teenagers who did not make those mainstream connections, there is no adult role model physically present for inspiration.

Remedies for Self-Sabotaging Teens:

Let them embrace whatever they are passionate about and find groups who get together to work on perfecting their craft. It is in the day to day work of things that they love that they shall find the resolve to rise above their personal challenges. There is another way: Find a mentor outside their regular circle of friends and family to help them find their positive power and release their fears.

Procrastination in Self-Sabotaging Teens:

Challenge:
Most people blame this generation’s chronic habit of putting off everything to laziness. In my experience, procrastination occurs from these young adults caring too much about succeeding.
When getting a 70% is not good enough, or any interest in a new hobby is met with pointing out the flaws, the child determines that it is better not to try anything new past the infatuation stage and as for school; if they wait until the last moment to study, they can always live with: “60%?!? What would have happened if you had only studied sooner?” knowing they don’t have to ever worry about it as they have the perfect excuse – “meh, I’m just lazy!”

Remedy:
Minimize focusing on natural raw talent. Let your child know that it’s ok to fail as long as you learn from your mistakes and change and grow from your experiences. In fact, that is where most greatness comes from. It’s too late to undo the desire for Baby Mozart factory-made geniuses but it’s not too late for their genius to flower by learning from mistakes and creating their own structures for success from them. The best way is let them see your mistakes. Own them and show them how you learn from them. It’s all in the process not the potential.

Self-Sabotaging Teens and Instant Gratification:
Challenge:
Young people today will not wait more than 3 seconds for a website to load before moving on. Their average conversations are texted and their group-speak is on Twitter or Facebook. Food is only food if it can be eaten several moments after being chosen. A pot or pan is only an obstruction to getting the “good food” they want.

Remedy:
Make the time for slow stuff in your life. Cook from scratch at least twice a week. It could be chicken breasts in a nice spice with some steamed veggies, or a chili prepared in the morning and slow-cooking until you get home at dinner. Grow something in the garden and take a few moments each day to tend to it. Knit or paint or something else that is slow to unfold. If you are saying that you just don’t have the time – you are back to the challenge. Teach by example and then invite them to show you how they would do it differently and embrace their ideas. Use those ideas and learn together from them, free of judgment. They will learn the magic of the process of creation.

The phrase I often hear from my young clients at some point or another is “if I choose to fail and I do … then I’ve won!” This system that they have perfected over most of their lifetime encompasses every aspect of their lives; from school to hobbies foisted upon them, from therapists that they have learned to toy with so well, to the addictions that give them a false sense of empowerment; their coping strategies are the only ones they have learned to count on to keep themselves safe.

It is the simple things in life from where we obtain our deepest lessons.

Embrace them into your life and see the effect it has on your children.

The work I do with young adults is about helping them find their personal, positive power. I let them know that they will be in charge, making all the decisions, with me being their guide. I may turn them around from a dead end but they walk each step so that they own every victory and defeat, growing from each.

Once they choose to look for a different way and start a daily routine of simple effective steps to find their own positive power, these young adults embrace these new possibilities, showing amazing amounts of courage and fortitude. The best work in guiding young adults is done in team work. They really do possess all the answers.

Passion, process, patience are the keys.

When in doubt, find an outside mentor for young adults.

Want more articles on Mentoring Young Adults? Click Here
To contact Ken for a Free 15 Minute Consultation Click Here

Teen Mentoring Programs: Volunteer!

If you ask a Millennial what they want to do this summer, most teens and young adults really want to see summer as a time to play the most video games, go to sleep just before the sun is up and possible smoke their brains out. Can you blame them?  The idea of teen mentoring programs such as life coaching young adults seems unnecessary. But what about those dealing with school failure, bad sleep habits, pot addiction, low self-esteem, anger issues and more?

How do we inspire young adults to make wise choices for the summer?

I have always found that when given proper motivation and a true understanding of the benefits, most young adults will choose the best things to help themselves grow. “Because I said so” rarely works and never helps in a long-lasting way. In our teen mentoring programs we promote new ways for young adults to seek personal growth.

What if it is too late to find a job?

The two places to look are jobs and volunteering in an area that interests them. Teen mentoring programs like our for mentoring young adults is a great way to help encourage teens to grow and challenge themselves.
If your focus is that summer can become a time that could change your child’s future job prospects in an ever-changing world versus keeping them busy to not get into trouble, you have started on a good path.

Our new summer goal in Teen Mentoring Programs: Widen your child’s horizon.

The more a young adult in today’s world widens their horizons, the richer their lives become and the greater their potential for a good living becoms. Summer is the perfect opportunity for this through the experience of volunteering. Lots of young adults bristled when I use the word “volunteer” seeing it as merely “working for nothing” (i.e. where’s the money?!?!). Our program which mentors young adults is a great example of teen mentoring programs built to encourage new ways to look at summer volunteering.

Here is a different way to view volunteer work:

In our work mentoring young adults, our teen mentoring programs focus on ways to get new experience:

Try and get a job without experience or training at the zoo and you will probably end up scraping bird-poop off the glass enclosures. Volunteer at the zoo and you may have a chance to be up close and personal with the animals. Learning things few people get a chance to learn.

This is where one of my most favorite books comes into play: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I still read this book once a year and have found it
training Millenials to use the Carnegie principals immensely useful in getting my clients through many a closed doors and getting them the volunteer positions they wanted. Read this book!

Picking the proper area to volunteer in is a fairly easy exercise once you know how.

As Joseph Campbell said: “Follow your bliss”.

First choice should be something you know tons about just because you love it; animals, reptiles, stamp collecting, rock climbing, motorcycle repair, gardening … whatever you love; if you know all about it, take advantage of that knowledge to volunteer with people who do it for a living and see your passion through a professional’s eyes.

Second choice could be something you were always curious about. If you have great people skills or sales skills or are good with your hands, there are all sorts of organizations that can use those skills over the summer in a volunteer position.

Saving the best for last:

Most noteworthy: Work with a local community political cause you really believe in. We got Brexit and Trump because Millennials were not engaged and felt un-empowered. You are not. You are the future. Consider volunteering also at a pet shelter, a homeless shelter, a food shelter, a summer camp for at-risk youth or one of the many organizations that help third world countries. Your life will never be the same.

Volunteering: Widening your circle of knowledge and people. Learn how different people who are passionate about their lives work. Making a difference in the world. These “summer experiences” are the beginning of becoming a renaissance person in the 21st century. There is no price that can be put on that.

Interested in more articles on mentoring young adults? Click here.

Know someone in need of mentoring? Click here

Know someone interested in being trained to mentor young adults? Click here

Top 10 Best and Worst Father’s Day Gifts for Dad from his Teenager

Ah, Father’s day!

The smell of pig-skin, power tools and sawdust wafts through the air mixed with the beaded Dad-sweat of uncertainty. What shall the Father’s day “gift” be this year? Should I practice smiling in the mirror?  Will I need shots or is their a pleasant surprise waiting for me today?
Here are some things Dad may want to ponder, just to be prepared.

10 Worst Father’s Day Gifts

10: Socks.

9 A paisley tie.

8 A papier-mâché ashtray made up of forged absentee notes.

7 Borrowing dad’s car to get the gift … a coupon from Brian’s dent and
fender repair shop

6 Dollar store aftershave that seems to attract raccoons.

5 A raccoon named “frothy”.

4 Second hand bowling shoes with the name “Bubba” stenciled on.

3 A mug saying “World’s 2nd Best Dad!”

2 Waking up to a gift wrapped carpenter ant farm
– in a broken case.

The number one worst gift for dad from his teenager:

A certificate saying “Worlds’ Greatest Dad” – stuck in your printer.

10 Best Father’s Day Gifts

10: Spending time with dad
(lying in front of the TV with headphones on while texting doesn’t count)

9: Acting Happy for a day – 24 hours mood-free!

8: Two words – Cordless Power Tools

7: Sit and have a conversation with Dad
that doesn’t start with “I need” or “I broke”.

6 Having friends over who aren’t named for their felonies.

5 Hugs all day long – (even when it gets annoying).

4 A promise to be home on time for a month… no, seriously.

3 Breakfast together.

2 A can of ant spray (see worst gift #2)

The number one best gift for dad from his teenager:

Anything they make for you.
Some food, a card, a song and its always perfect!

Active Listening with a Millennial and a Gen Ex-er

Here is a recipe to completely turn around the next year in communication between your teen and yourself:

The Challenge:

You know what your teenager is going to say. Your teenager knows what you are going to say. Before anyone says anything both sides are ready for the post-yelling repercussions.

Here’s a Father’s day suggestion:
Pretend!

Pretend you have no idea what the other is going to say.

Then what?

One person is the listener and the other the speaker for 5 minutes, then switch roles. The listener asks one of the following questions:
Why are you here?
What makes you happy?
What would you like to see changed in the world?

Here’s the tricky part, the listener should do the following;
Do not comment or add to the listener’s story, do not give any verbal cues (mmm, ah, oh!) and don’t give any visual cues. Simply take in the speaker with love and acceptance.

Each speaker gets approximately 5 minutes to speak.
Please email me and let me know how it worked. ken@wwym.org

Happy Father’s day to all the dads, all the teenagers and the Moms who put up with them!

Thanks to all the people who inspired this list!

Help For Young Adults: Communication

The goal of these articles is to change your life for the better:

To find lasting help for young adults, you have know how you perceive your children. How they interact with you and how you learn to be your best in the world in the very place where it is most difficult… amongst the people you love. All of that will change for the better!

When parents contact me to help them help their teen or young adult find their way, the whole family often seems lost and without hope. Dealing with depression, anxiety, School failures, pot addiction. Once they hear how this system works they often say something like: “this is the first time in a long time when I have felt some hope”. This is true help for young adults.

Help for Young Adults in a Book

The system I work from is based on my first book “The Slacker’s Guide to Success – 13 steps to Personal Success in the New Millennium”. It works for almost anyone. Most young people really do want to succeed and do good work while gaining a sense of self-worth (this may sometimes be hard to believe for those who know these young people but not by me). Given the proper tools these teens and young adults find their way to success.

Something very interesting happens as they progress and the parents see the impossible occur. It becomes very clear that the old ways of communication between parents and their children also need a new way to evolve to a richer and healthier way.

How Does This Book Create Help for Young Adults?

This book shall give you the tools to discover your child as the new person they are becoming and they are a new person. Not because of their Mentor. Not because of surmounting their challenges (although both of those things help). They are a new person because that is the evolutionary truth of people. The baby you held in your arms is not the same person that the toddler became. The toddler is not the same person the teen became. The young adult is again completely different again. In fact, look at your own life. Investigate the things you have done at different ages and think about how you would have felt being judged at these different stages by the things that challenged you as a child.

Here is the greatest part of the new skills you will gain: You will meet a whole, happy, healthy person who has been the object of your life since you first laid eyes on them. This new person will bring to your new relationship, new thoughts, new things to share and their own wisdom to enhance both your lives.

Isn’t that worth the price of changing your own habits of being heard and listening in a new way? Yes. That’s right. The title of this book is “How to Be Heard” but (and you can quote me): “If you want to get something… give it”!

To get help for young adults: The best way to be heard is to learn a new way to listen.

That’s what this book will help you do. Give you a great way to be heard by you taking the time to learn to listen. This is the work I do with the parents willing to try something new as they see how well their child and I communicate and how I am able to get their children to do things that they have been hounding those kids to do for what seems like an eternity.

Actually, I never get anyone to do anything. I show people things what “others” want them to do. We investigate. We analyze and I listen to the client’s (the young person’s) thoughts and we go from there. To the parents, it seems like I “got” their kids to do what they had always known their child should do but never would do.

In fact, I simply laid out options and let the client choose. The difference might seem arbitrary to some but I hope that when you have finished practicing what this book preaches, you will know the difference and it is a country mile apart.

First, I shall share with you the secrets of what your child really means when they say things. Are you ready?

To Find Help for Young Adults: Learn to Speak Gen Z

“Fine”.

The ultimate passive-aggressive diss.
Fine stands for f***ed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.
When a child gives up to your repeated requests and says “fine” what they are really saying is “it is so not worth arguing with you. I shall give you this agreement, which is not really an agreement but my disdain for you, your clothes and the high horse you rode in on”. (Caution: Gen Z’s don’t actually speak that way. This is my translation of them in a way that you can relate to ☺

“I’ve already done it”!

(Translation) “I know and you know I haven’t done it and we both know that if I say I haven’t done it you will yell at me and then I will yell back so, in effect, I have vowed to get this done after I play endless amount of video games… unless I forget… which doesn’t count because I intended to…”

“Yes I will”!!

“My friends are waiting for me online to keep playing the game. You are merely an annoyance and so whatever I tell you now is my nice way of not telling you to f*** off because I want to play. You should appreciate that. Promises void where prohibited by my doing you a favor”.

“I promise”!!!

“Oh my G-d!! Did you not understand what I meant when I said “Yes I will”?!? Read the above translation. Trust me. I am doing you a favor. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”

The real promise:

“I really intend to do whatever it is you have asked of me if I happen to remember it (which is not likely based on past experience) and I do believe that my intention should be all that is truly required of me. The resentment I feel from you reminding me over and over that I NEVER do these things just makes me want to do these things even less. That is all”.

I’m sure you know what we call the act of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome:.. Parenting.

Here is my promise to you; learn the steps in this book and work on them with your child and others and you will not need those conversations ever again. They will be replaced by communication; cooperation and mutual respect.

How to Use This Book and Get Help for Young Adults

This book has a companion book written for your child. Please, for the love of Crisco, don’t read theirs’. There’s nothing secret in it but it says soooo much about you if you do read it and so much more about you if you don’t.

The best way to use this book is to do a quick read of it once all the way through and highlight the parts that are most meaningful to you. Then take each chapter and work on your parts on your own, and with your child when it calls for it, for a month. The whole book will take one full year to go through. (Hello? Hello? Still there?)

Yes. In this world of “three easy things to make your child do whatever you want” (good luck with that), I am saying that the true meaningful way to communicate with your child will take time, patience and determination. Only constant, steady work in small regular doses on your part and letting them work on their part will bear the fruit you seek: To truly be heard.

The Three Stages to Create Help for Young Adults

The three stages you will experience are:
1) Unlearning
2) Reframing and
3) A new beginning.
There are explanations for each of these at the beginning of each stage.

Every stage is a complete separate entity with four steps to guide you towards completion. The 13th step is about taking what you have learned into all future chapters of your life. Acknowledging and honoring yourself for the journey you have taken in being heard. More importantly; learning a new way to listen.

Sometimes we do great things but don’t take the time to acknowledge what we have accomplished. To climb that mountain and not take the time to take in the view from the summit is not have taken the journey in our hearts. Our hearts needs the time to reach whatever physical summits we achieve in life. Always take the moment to let all of you; your physical, mental and spiritual/emotional sides witness the great things in life.

May your journey be filled with challenges. May you overcome each challenge with inner-faith, kind self-speak, grace and humor and may the creative force of life guide your path with a sense of adventure and wonder.

Enjoy!

Ken Rabow

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A Life Coach’s Take on Nicole Arbour, Fat-Shaming and Bullying

A letter to an online bully:

Hello Nicole,

You are not alone. There are lots of people who look like you. Lots of people. When they see someone like me who is overweight, they make judgments. There is a word for that: bullying. When I am at my present weight (I have gained and lost Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body weight several times over during my 50 odd years) and go into a swanky coffee shop and order a low-fat chocolate, they always ask me, “Do you want whipped cream with that?”

Once I lose 20 more pounds, go to a coffee shop and ask for low-fat hot chocolate, they say, “You don’t want whipped cream with that?”

When I am at my perfect body weight (for me) they never ask me for whipped cream.
What do we learn from this? Nicole, you can’t begin to understand what it means to be someone who needs to protect themselves with a layer of fat to feel safe, or the joy comes from the forbidden fruit that is the cocoa bean, the white bread rush, or the sugar buzz.

For whatever reason, your clan chose to find solace in belittling others as a form of comfort. I did notice that you had $300 worth of cosmetic paint on your face. You seem to thing that artifice is art.
Here’s what I have to say to all those with a bad body image: look for real beauty and stop bullying.

A remedy to bullying
It is not in your body, which shall betray the best of us with time. Look for self love first, because a loving man or woman is always kind and inspires instead of ridicules. Seek out those who are kind and help inspire you to be your best, who challenge you in those moments of weakness when you feel the need to get the buzz that bad food gives you, and to forgive the skinny people who don’t understand. There are people out there who are in great shape who have kindness, who admit their struggles and don’t need to sensationalize by shaming others.

And to Nicole: yes, you seem smart. You have good comedic timing, but shame on you. Yes. You got fame (for a second). You got notoriety. But you have proven the thing that I try so hard to teach the Millennials I work with who feel there’s no point in working hard at school when you can get more famous being mean, stupid, or embarrassing in this world: that being a good person and living in the non-digital moment is what life is about. You have shown how bullying can travel. Look. I’m writing about you. Now, goodbye. Learn from Elwood P. Dowd, the character in Harvey. (It’s a black and white film… give it a try).

Bullying antidote: Kindess

“Years ago, my mother used to say to me, she’d say, ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be.’ — She always called me Elwood — ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant.’ Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.”

This article was published at Huffington Post on Sep 8, 2015

Looking for a mentor for young adults who can help with bullying? click here

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Mentoring and Mentorship – The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

How do we implement Mentoring and Mentorship of young adults  and get them where they need to go? Start with where you are… So here we are. A new year has begun. Your Millennial is back in university and you are hoping that last year’s effort (best described as crap-tabulous) will not be repeated. Horrible marks. Terrible self-talk/self-image. Massive anxiety.
Here’s the worst part… who can you talk to about your child? Especially if you believe (as so many of the parents who talk to me about this feel) that every other person’s child is doing fine and it is just your child who cannot cope.

I will give you the answer to the parent/Mentor issue at the end of this article but let’s start first with helping your child:

The Three Challenges

1. Just-in-Timers. for lots of students, it was easy in High School to wait to the last minute, binge study and pull off some nifty grades. The harsh reality is that this doesn’t work in University/College and the student does not have the resources or experience to try another way.

2. The Deliciousness of Indulgence. Being away from home and having no external controls, mixed with a massive amount of booze, weed and fellow video-gamers with unlimited internet access is a recipe for badness. The uninformed will say “just say no”… good luck with that.

3. The Scourge of Social Anxiety.
This is at epidemic proportions in North America. This anxiety can make it practically impossible to reach out for help in school. Making it difficult to get back on track when they fall behind, it can push them to make self-destructive choices when the inevitability of their situation is shoved in their face by mid-terms.

The Three Solutions

1. Just-in-timers meet the Daily Routine. By starting with the simplest tasks inserted in one’s day-to-day life, the Millennial learns to use a scheduler (why does this generation prefer to keep notes on loose slips of paper?!?) to take control of their daily lives. It may seem like a small step but simply being able to do one five minute task a day instills in them what they didn’t get by obligation or just-in-timing High School

2. Indulgence meet Observation: Remember what I said about “just say no”? Well double that on this one. We are not talking about people doing serious stuff in a way that is self-endangering. Those people need immediate action but for those indulging just enough to keep them from doing anything in life; here is the solution; observe it. Yes. Notice when you are doing your indulgence. Think about why you are doing it. Is it to self-medicate (i.e. deal with your anxiety)? Is it to alleviate boredom? Is it for social sharing? Is it ‘just ‘cuz? This may seems nuts but all of those are valid. The trick is to figure out which one, when, offer better things to do that you would enjoy more for some and leave the others (at the beginning). This is the start of conscious use and helps make different choices in the future.

3. Calming Social Anxiety. This can seem so formidable. It requires a Mentor who conveys non-judgmental trust. It requires the Mentee looking at their challenge with kindness instead of harsh self-judgment and then to implement the following over six months; deep breathing (versus shallow breathing); visualization/meditation; learning positive self-talk; patience and relaxation.

Why Mentoring Young Adults May Not Work (at first)

OK. It will work. (Deep breaths please). The three solutions I mention above work for 90% of the young adults I encounter, just please don’t try this at home folks at least until you finish this article: Let’s start with a story:

The Long Spoons.

So… true story. I wanted to understand Heaven and Hell. So first, I travelled to Hell (Insert Donald Trump joke here…)
There were rows of tables piled high with platters of the most delicious food. Each platter was more aromatic and more beautiful to behold than the last. Every person held a full spoon but both arms were splinted with wooden slats making it impossible to bend their elbows to bring the food to their mouths. The people were emaciated, suffering and bereft of hope.

So I went to Heaven (Insert Wayne Dyer tribute here…)
Everything was the same. Same tables, same platters of food, same splints on the arms making it impossible to bend elbows but the people were satiated, happy and fulfilled. The big difference: In Heaven as a person picked up their spoon and dug into the nourishment availed to them, they stretched across the table and fed the person across from them. That person thanked them and then leaned across the table to feed their neighbor.

What’s This Got to Do with Me?!?

Chances are there is nothing wrong with your mentoring skills (if you have been working on them) but imagine the mentor is the person with the spoon, the wisdom is the food and the person starving is your child. You cannot mentor your own child, the whole concept of tribe was designed to have you mentor your neighbor’s child and them mentor yours’.

This is why people come to Professional Mentors/Life Coaches like myself and the Mentors I train. This is why you should become a mentor but get a distant relative or friend from another city to study mentoring with you. Then, you mentor their child and they should mentor yours’.

Let’s start a movement and use the long spoons the way the were meant to be used. I believe today’s young adults have the potential to be the greatest generation since the 1940’s but they need new mentoring paradigms.

Find someone you trust and believe in to train you and your mentoring partner and begin a tiny revolution! It shall grow.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Mental Illness in Young Adults – The Lesson

Do you know where you were when you heard that Robin Williams had died?

I do. I felt like I had lost a family friend. Back in the day when TV meant something, Robin was a breath of fresh air, even on Happy Days.

Mental illness in young adults affects so many families and yet so few feel safe talking about it.

He even made the Fonz look cooler. Then there was Mork and Mindy. His Johnny Carson appearances, including being one of the last two guests to be on Carson’s show.

Robin’s love of Jonathan Winters helped a whole new generation learn about a brilliant, improvisational comedian who had a great influence on Robin. From The World According to Garp, The Fisher King, Good Morning Vietnam to Aladdin, Robin grew and brought us along with him with kindness, humility and a never-ending well of creativity.

Then one of my troubled teen’s parents said to me:

“You know, Robin seemed a lot like your clients” and it hit me. He did seem a lot like my clients. Creative people. Sensitive people. People struggling with life. Some with Aspergers. Some with Bipolar or other mental health issues but they had one advantage that Robin did not (I really wasn’t going to say me, please)… they had not learned how to succeed in life. They were stuck and nothing before our work had worked. The work which did help them was being mentored to use their talents to rise above their challenges. To have a mentor that could discuss their private fears free of the “real world”, friends and family. That is sorely needed when dealing with mental illness in young adults; an impartial ear.

Of course, this made me happy and hopeful for my clients but very, very sad for my lost family friend. Robin. Through his successes, his genius, his drive to push himself into new territories, Robing played the old magician’s trick of misdirection. We were looking at the wrong hand while the other was suffering.

There are three things I will take away from this.

1) Those who can should decide right now to mentor our troubled Millenials. Millenials with addictions, those with anxiety, those with mental illness and those with learning challenges.

2) We must be ever-vigilant to also mentor the Millenials who seem to be successful but underneath the surface are also suffering. Those with the same issues and more who are good at misdirection

3) In a world filled with divisions, hatred, war, gatherings of people wishing to cut off the head of democracy, we must counter that with love for all people, find those young adults who might fall under the thrall of hatred and calls to war and help these Millenials to find how to be great from their powers of kindness, grace and charity. Honor the differences. Mental illness in young adults is not the end, it’s a call to action to help find their greatness beyond the labels.

Here is what I promise to do.

To help mentor young adults with mental illness, I intend to train 1000 mentors by the year 2020, to help young people, focusing on young adults in inner cities and underdeveloped nations to offer the three things I have just mentioned. This I so vow.

Interested in mentoring young adults with mental illness? Click here.

If your child is in serious mental health crisis, please look into it immediately. This link is a good staring place. Click here. When things are more settled, life coaching can be a great addition to a complete program.

Teen Life Coaches offer success tips

So here we are. A new school year. New clothes, new books, new gadgets, but most kids are walking in with exactly the same old labels. No. Not Calvin K. I’m talking about: ADHD; Depression; Anxiety, Slacker, Stoner etc. As a mentor for teen life coaches, I have a few suggestions to transform this year but…
First, let’s start with a quick pair of definitions:
Mentor; one who guides his/her charge.
Telemachus: one who seeks the help of a Mentor to make their way “out there”.

In the world of Teen Life Coaches, the best ones are Mentors.
At World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc, we have worked with countless young people who have made great changes for the better in their lives. Changes where they were responsible for their successful outcome. Teen life coaches can be the vehicle to having someone guide them in whatever challenges they take on in life.

Most systems of “repair” seem to be focused on the symptoms.
Many systems use the deficiencies to define the whole of the person. Statements such as: “I’m ADHD”. Hello, my name is Skeeter and I’m a stoner.” “I’m such a (fill in the blank)” ring throughout the school hallways.

To those who spend so much time on their symptoms, know that good teen life coaches would suggest you reflect on the following: We amplify what we focus on, in word, thought and action. The more frequently we are defining ourselves by what we lack, the more we allow our inner thoughts to validate those beliefs in our million micro-decisions of the day. Teen life coaches are here to help you build your inner-voice to one of support.

We cannot underestimate the amount of people who are in denial about their personal foibles.
I am not suggesting self-delusion as a the road to success. I encourage you to (and by extension those you mentor) to “own” their challenges as well as their strengths, but please do not let yourself be defined by them.

Every young person I have ever met has the ability to be successful in every aspect of their lives, even school ☺ That may seem like a bold statement but the truth is, evolutionarily speaking, if you are alive, then you are doing something right. But to move forward, the Telemachus must find their own personal way towards success.

Teen Life Coaches; know this!
Each Telemachus has in them the seeds for success and the challenge is to find the proper system for that particular person. What you need to bring to this system and how you can determine when your “Telemachus” is ready for your mentoring.

A questions to all parents: Who knows your child better than you do?
They do. They may not “know” it or share all of it with you but your understanding of your child is based on history. More than likely, theirs is about right now and tomorrow. The past is often the same place where broken toys reside. Rich and meaningful at one time, but now it is mainly of use for stubbing toes and tripping us up.

Secondly, to the Teen Life Coaches:
It is in the future and the now that one must re-learn about your Telemachus.

You, the Mentor must bring an open mind, humility and the presence of mind to NOT JUDGE.

Finally: To the Telemachus.
You are not your label(s). Not the ones your parents gave you, the ones “professionals” gave you, the ones teachers or peers gave you nor the ones you give yourself when you feel lost.

Live each moment as a new creation.
Learn from the past and set a course for a new future. This is the job your Mentor should join you in but remember, it is YOU who must be in command. Use your courage to venture forth, your wisdom to assess, your determination to soldier on in the face of setbacks and your faith to learn from those around you.

Now go out there and kick some butt!

Know someone in need of teen life coaches. Want to find the right one? click here

Know someone would like to become one of our teen life coaches? click here

Teen Life Coaching Online – The Best Place for Life Coaching Teens

The best place to work with a teen life coach is the same place these young adults spend most of their time. That is; watching videos, playing games, facebooking, and sometimes for a few moments studying. Yes. The best place for work is on their computer screens in their special lair; their bedrooms.

The advantage to having a teen life coach working through videoconferencing are many:

  1. Once your child works online they find their runaway place becomes a go-to succeed place.
  2. They will have two hours a week where they go to to be truly heard. Someone who connects with them and gives them a place to do personal reflection, free of judgment.
  3. For teens with anxiety, fear of going “out there” working with a life coach online is the first step to getting them to feel safe “out there”. Trying to get a teen with anxiety to travel to a teen life coach every week reinforces their fears before the teen life coach can give them the strength to venture forth with the tools to succeed.

    Reasons for Seeking Out a Teen Life Coach
    For some, anxiety is a big reason for seeking help.
    For others, school failures are the main reason for seeking help.

No matter the reason, working online with a teen life coach can be life changing!
That is what Skype sessions have done for Ken Rabow and Ken’s mentors  with their clients all over North America  since 2001. Working online allows the opportunity for client and mentor to share school work, test and paper results, applications for courses or jobs and work together online on daily routines.

The advantages of life coaching teens online are many. If you want to know if it is the right system for you check out our site and ask for a free 15 minute consultation. 

Know someone in need of a teen life coach? Click here

Want to know the different programs? Click here.

 

Mentoring Teens and Extra-Curricular Activities

Mentoring Teens can make great and permanent positive change:
Meet Three Clients who were Troubled Teens: Tim, Julie and Doug (not their real names).

Tim, 13 years old,
is practically never at home. Hockey practice, scouts, hockey games, religious class and pre-planned get-togethers with friends, shuttled by his parents take up every non-school moment. A great kid but he seems to have trouble focusing on one thing for any length of time. Basically he is a troubled teen with anxiety.

Doug, 18 years old,  is a talented, clever man in his late teens who can charm any person he meets. He has also failed in his first terms at two universities and could usually be found in his room 24/7, smoking pot, playing video games or in the basement playing drums to his iPod. The epitome of depression in young adults.

Julie, 19 years old,
is now in university and has a part time job in sales. She was constantly bullied from grades 1 to grades 8 by the cliques for not dressing the way they did. “I did my own thing, I didn’t like to conform and I would get harassed daily”. The poster child for pot addiction in young adults.

Daily lives pre-mentoring teens:
Since turning thirteen, Tim, has been oppositional, scattered and disinterested in his school, studies and after-school activities. He has also started talking back to his parents.

Doug has been to every type of therapist and a few “camps” but nothing seemed to stick. “Eventually, I would get them to say to me; I really want to be your friend .. and that’s when I knew I had them”. Doug would always end up back in his room, playing video games and smoking pot.

Julie would often go to the principal after being bullied. The principal would then bring the girls in to her office and the girls would say they were sorry, that they didn’t mean it and wouldn’t do it again. The girls would leave, the principal would say “everything’s OK now!” and the bullying would continue during class, at recess and after school.

And now for something completely different:
The pre-frontal cortex, the area in the brain responsible for things such as judgment, executive control and emotional regulation continues to develop well into the mid 20’s. During this time, the brain is highly adaptable and influenced by external forces. There have been many studies that support the idea that multi-tasking and over stimulation during these formative years can lead to attention deficit disorders. This is why mentoring teens can help mitigate the challenges coming for the outside world and within.

Where are they now? Post mentoring teens.
Julie found that her competitive Irish dance classes and sax classes helped her build her self-confidence and to realize that if one group of people don’t like you, there are others who will. A mentoring teens success.

Doug has begun a daily routine of meditation, music lessons, playing in a band and reading seminal books on psychology. He is preparing to go back to school – smoke free. A mentoring teens success.

Tim has continued his over-programmed life and has attention issues.
Really, really needs a mentoring teens program.

Mentoring teens: I’ll leave the final words to them:

Julie: Head high, eyes open, heart strong. Keep fighting for yourself and don’t give in.
Doug: Find the things that you love doing and go do it.
Don’t worry what other people think, just do your best and if you mess up, get up and do it again.

Tim:……… Tim? ……… Tim’s not listening.

Interested in mentoring teens? Click here. 

Before considering mentoring teens, if your child is in serious mental health crisis, please look into it immediately. This link is a good staring place. Click here. When things are more settled, mentoring teens can be a great addition to a complete program.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Life Coaching Teens Failing School

A new school year is upon us and like Ebenezer Scrooge, we are not sure if it is the ghosts of past, present or future school years that shall be visited upon us. Here are four steps to guarantee a successful school year through life coaching teens. (guarantee void where prohibited by over-achieving siblings who make us look bad no-matter-what).

We are rarely taught how to succeed in life. Some people “have it” while for others, success seems elusive. Many of us have some things we do well but don’t always know how to transfer those successes to the things in our life that challenge us.

Life Coaching Teens with P.L.A.Y.

Here are some steps that will help you have a successful school year.
It can however be used for anything you choose to excel in.
P.L.A.Y Prepare, Listen, Assess, Your Rewards

Life coaching Teens Rule # 1. Prepare.

Space. The final frontier…. either it helps you take care of business or makes a mushy brain.

a) Workspace:

Where do you do your reading and writing for school?
Is it at your computer work-desk or do you have a separate area for schoolwork.
(on or near the floor of your bed does not count) Wherever it is:
Decide to make this area clutter-free.
You don’t need to do it all at once unless you have a desire to.
Simply do five minutes of organizing every time you go to this area.
Within a week most of it will be done.
A proper workspace free of clutter frees the mind of a subtle constant stress.

b) Reference Finding your stuff when you need it is half the battle.  Set up proper shelving for any books or binders that will be required for your classes.

Make sure that the materials will be easily seen and accessible when you need it.
Organize some drawers for “stuff” that usually clutters your workspace.

c) Feng Sh-who?  Look at the images you have on your walls. Make sure that they are ones that inspire you to success.

d) Time.
Once you know your schedule for the next term, write down your class, travel, homework, clean-up and kicking-around times into a weekly schedule.

Add to the last day of the week time to reorganize your work area throughout the school year. Consider it a weekly reset to being organized.
If you use a smartphone – start using either Google Calendar or iCal for writing in your weekly schedule. Use it on your computer as well. Your scheduler should always be up to date. If there is a change to one scheduled event do the change right away. Make it so that whatever is written in your schedule is always dependable. Being organized and showing up where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there is empowering.

Life-coaching Teens Rule #2.
Listen. Concentrate. Read. Engage!

Notes.Note taking in class is an art. You have to figure out what is important and where to focus your work. Also, figure out the standard duration of the classes you are taking and do a concentration exercise at home (meditation is a great one) that is 5 minutes more than your standard class. If you can train yourself to focus for a whole class, you can make sure you are ready for whatever important notes need to be taken.

Do the reading! Then try to ask the occasional informed question. This helps you make sure that you are on track and it creates a good connection with the teacher. They really are there to help you.

Know yourself!
If you are going to waste time if you have a computer in class, do hand written notes and then transcribe them at home. Don’t put stumbling blocks in your way.

Life-coaching Teens Rule #3
Assess and Re-assess Projects, Tests. Re-tests?Remember the kid who always did their book reports the day after they were given? They were on to something. Step 1) Create an outline within three days of getting an assignment. You will find it easier now to figure out when to get each part done. Imagine your paper is due three days before the due date. Use the other days to go over it and refine it.

Testing Through Tests.
Tests. Most first tests are there to help the teacher assess you and help you assess your strengths and challenges in a class. If one part or many parts are off the mark that you were shooting for, make an appointment to see the teacher and ask the teacher how you can prepare to get the marks you want. If you failed, see if there is something you can do as a make-up to improve that mark and still ask how you can study more efficiently for the class. Once more; teachers really do like to see people do well and are usually pleasant when you see them off-hours to improve. (Major note – take responsibility for your “mess-up” instead of making excuses. They will respect you for that)

Life-coaching Teens Rule #4
Your Rewards.
Enjoy life! Give yourself treats.
If you know where you are going with your future career, find out what marks are needed (and what courses are needed) and shoot for that grade point average. If you are not sure, you can never go wrong with low 80’s.

Working successfully means having a complete life. Do your work and then reward yourself with some video game play or anything that won’t affect you waking up clear for the next day (watching the ring trilogy at two in the morning is not recomended).
When you are making changes, let your parents know your plans.
Everyone benefits from good lines of communication.

There you have it
The four steps to a successful school year.
The whole world is a P.L.A.Y. Get out there and remember:
It is only through failures that we learn to succeed…

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Troubled Teens Communicating: How to Con Your Parents Into Listening to You

Who says that troubled teens communicating is an impossible feat?
Okay. Lock the door. Pull down the shades (do you have shades?) and cozy up to a truth every teen knows: Parents never really listen! You know that, your friends know that, that guy with the crazy hair down the street says his parents listen but he’s home schooled. So here’s the big question: How can teens teach their parents how to listen?

Hi! My name is Ken Rabow, founder of World Wide Youth Mentoring Inc.
Often parents come to me to talk about teen depression, teen anxiety and weed issues but this one is all ab out troubled teens communicating.

But first, let’s look at some of the complaints teens have about their oblivious parents:

Teen: Mom, I’m taking the bus to school today.
Actual meaning: I made a huge dent in the side of the car last night.
Parent: That’s okay, dear; I could use the car for shopping this morning, anyway.
Complaint: Like, didn’t she get it? Oh, she will. She will.

Teen: Dad, can I stay at my friend’s house and play more video games?
Actual meaning: We’re too bloated on cheese doodles to move.
Parent: Well, as long as your friend’s parents are okay with it, I guess so.
Complaint: Like, I guess if his parents don’t know we’re pigging out, we’re fine. So, why does Dad mind I’m covered with cheese doodle paste… and so are the sofa cushions… and the carpet… and the dog ….

The truth about troubled teens communicating:
Most of the time teens are fine with not being listened to by their parents. But here’s the problem: What happens when you really need them to? You see, all your training in getting them to ignore you isn’t going to come in handy. You’re, like, the kid who yelled woof! Or barked, or something.

So, how do you get your parents to listen when you need them to?
Well, here’s the bad news. You can’t. They’re too old to change their ways and they only get smart again when you’re around 25. But here’s good news!. If you start to listen to them, they will start listening to you! I know, I know, it’s a lot of work, but let me tell you: it’s worth it.

Try this at home folks!
Next time your parents are blathering on about something, pretend that it’s important.

Take mental notes of what they’re saying and see if you can make sense of it in your superior teen mind. Then say it back to them, to make sure you understood what they said, but in your own words. If they tell you that was exactly what they meant, then act like you care. Tell them how it would make you feel if that had happened to you. Try to imagine what it would be like.

Tell them it makes sense to feel the way they do (All the things you never hear). But now, get ready for the sick part: It actually feels really good to do this sort of listening. Only a teen could do it so well. But you never know, sometimes parents can learn new things before you are 25.

Also, if you try this listening thing out on friends, they actually start listening back. Whoah! Before you know it, you may find this stuff is habit forming. Listening and being listened to. It doesn’t suck!

Know a troubled teen in need of mentoring? Check out how it works

Know someone who would like to mentor troubled teens? Click here

My Troubled Teen is Failing. What Did I Do Wrong?

Hello. I’m Ken Rabow. I am a life coach for troubled teens, unmotivated young adults and their families. Consequently, a great deal of my work is with students in jeopardy of completely failing their school year or Millenials and Generation Z’s now living at home, playing video games all day, who have dropped out. So maybe it’s best to say that I am a turn-your-life-around coach.+

Each time I meet with their parentsthe title of this article is the unspoken question in each of their minds, followed by what I imagine is even harsher versions of inner self-flagellation.

So, I am here to tell you parents that these particular types of students are simply highly gifted people whose talents do not catch on fire from the standard models. No therapy; micro-managing; freedom or meditative chanting: “go do your work!… go do your work!! …. go do your work!!!” will help.

In fact, what these young adults really need is someone outside their circle of friends and family to create a safe space for them to stop their whole world twice a week, help them take a deep breath, exhale their fears and self-doubts and look at where they are in their lives. Finally, asking themselves if they are truly ready to make meaningful changes in their lives. It works best with someone outside family and friends.  Think of all the people we have always had around us in tribes and families throughout all of time.

It is proved over and over without a shadow of a doubt that the parents have done great parenting when these young people show that they are now ready to consider empowering themselves in some positive, but alternative way. Just by considering it, their lives are put on a better path.

You have done your work. Loved them, nurtured them and allowed them the space to find their own path and guess what? Without a doubt, many of our most inspirational leaders were exactly these kinds of people; Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein and many more. I wonder how their parents felt in the rocky school years.

The psychologist Rollo May explained that there were certain stages of development:
Innocence: the pre-self-conscious stage of the infant.
Rebellion: wanting freedom without understanding the ramifications that go along with it.
Decision: Deciding what to do with their lives and fulfilling the rebellion stage’s needs.
Ordinary: Conformity and traditional values (What? Your kid missed this one?)
Creative: Self-actualized, authentic and caring.

Not everything is supposed to be done inside the family unit. Its OK.
I shall leave you with a Rollo May quote:
Tell the child,
Look, I love you, I believe in you.
I know you are going through a lot of upset the only thing that counts
is that in the long run, you find out who you are and you live it
.”

Know a troubled teen in need of life coaching? Click here for how it works.

Know someone interested in life coaching troubled teens? click here

Basketball, Autism ……… and Deception

As a life coach for teens and young adults, I work with all sorts of people in their teens and twenties. I learn from all of them. One of my most powerful learning lessons came from a 13 year old client with Autism, who allowed me to see the dangers of people in power trying to “do the right thing”. I am pleased to share with you now the inner workings of one the most interesting minds I have ever met.

My name is Stephen. I am a creative, charismatic, wise, 13 year old who gets good grades and I’m autistic. Yeah, I said that. No, I’m not some dysfunctional shmoe sitting on a couch with my coach translating all my words. I’m a guy who has something to say, who happens to be autistic.

Let me tell you a story.
It’s a real story about truth, deception and the school I used to go to (you know who you are). One day last March we had an assembly telling us about the “special” basketball game that was going to happen one week from then.

Our principal told us that we would be facing a “pro” basketball team made up of grade sevens, eights and high school kids and that it was supposed to be just for fun.

Our team was mostly grade sixes. Pretty young. Not very experienced. Kind of noobs and it was a fairly small basketball team made up of kids with different levels of Autism. I hadn’t signed up that year because I thought I had enough to do with karate and had done basketball and soccer the year before. The last year we hadn’t faced another school, though.

The team started practicing and my friend found out who the other basketball team was and he was pretty confident that we were going to get demolished. I thought they were going to get demolished too, but as it turns out what happened was even worse!

On the day of the basketball game
, we walked into the school. It had massive hallways with lockers on both sides. At least it was massive compared to what I was used to.
We walked down a few flights of stairs and went to one of the three gyms in the school.
This gym was gigantic. The basketball nets were very high with a score board up top and bleachers for us to sit in .

I went to sit down on one of the middle bleachers only to find out that the opposing school basketball team was even bigger than I expected – high schoolers galore and even huge grade sevens and eights.

They started by introducing the teams and all the players.
The teams set up and we began the first quarter. On the very first play our team got the ball and went to the other team’s net. They were just standing all around shooting the ball over and over. They kept missing and then trying again to the point that it became ridiculous. Me and the teacher beside me made a joke that our team was camping and roasting marshmallows. Game-related chuckles ☺

After that our team eventually scored and the game continued. The same thing kept happening. We scored most of the goals while the opposing team would score the occasional points. It was in the third quarter that I realized what was really happening.

One of their players passed the ball to our player. That was when I got it. I knew why our team wasn’t being demolished. When our players were “camping” the other team wasn’t fighting back because the other team was being easy on us. We were lied to. Deceived. It was then I realized the truth. This wasn’t just for fun. It was to deceive us to make us feel good about ourselves.

It made me feel angry. It made me think I was lied to probably every other time we had played. It made me doubt all the victories I had achieved in the past. It made me feel that it was all for nothing.

I asked the teacher next to me: “why is the other team being easy on us?” The teacher said “I’ll talk to you about this afterwards” and the way he said it to me made me feel that he wanted it to be secret. That he didn’t want it to ever be known.

Now many teachers at my old school may argue that they weren’t “technically lying”,
but it doesn’t even matter. They used a form of deception on students that they knew would never figure it out. As one of those students who did figure it out, I can tell you: I’d rather be told I’m weak in something than to find out later that I had been lied to about it.

The Moral of the Story;
You can have compassion for people without deceiving them.

Try to find teams that are balanced and equal to each other and if that’s not possible, then switch the teams around, put some of the monster players on our team and some of the autistic players on their team. Then all the players would learn to cooperate with people that they aren’t quite used to working with.

Honest and realistic compliments and criticism would be much more effective and tolerable by people like me.

Afterward by Ken.
I was probably the fifth person that Stephen had shared this story with and the typical response Stephen had heard was that he should just let it go. My response was; “let’s write it down, figure out a moral and share it with everyone”! Now I’m asking you to please share this with parents, teachers, schools and every person who truly wants to help people in need, using respect and honor as their guidelines.

Please share with us your own inspirations and I’ll get Stephen to write back ☺

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50 Easy Exercises for A Happier Life

Hey parents! Stop for a minute. Take a deep breath and realize that in most cases your kids will end up fine despite your worst fears and worries. Yes, there are cautionary tales out there but if you are reading this, you are one of those parents who really care and spend the time searching for different sources to learn from to improve yourself and your family. Here now is the best piece of advice I can give you. It helped a brilliant but not-so-mainstream artist to “make it big” Don’t worry be happy! (Thank you Bobby McFerrin)

Easier said then done but here are ten really great things you can do to make sure that your life is on the road to happiness.

Wake up and be thankful. That’s right. Every day is a new day. A chance for new opportunities so when you wake up, think about how lucky you are to have another chance to do something good in the world.

Look in the mirror and stare into your eyes. Marvel at the fact that you can see. Think about all the things in your body that have to work just so for you to walk, eat, breath and rid yourself of toxins.

When taking your shower today feel the water as it cascades over your body. Revel in the feel of water. Enjoy the idea of cleaning away yesterday’s dirt and beginning a new day clean and fresh.

Appreciate the people in your home. The wonder of their creation. The image of when you first laid eyes on them and the feeling you first felt in your heart about them that made you feel happy to have them in your life.

Investigate the first food you are about to eat. See the shapes, textures and colors. Smell it. Sample the taste of it and then enjoy the feeling that it unfolds as you slowly chew on it.

As you go out into the world take in all the aspects of nature that surround you. The weather. The sky in all its variations. Trees. Animals. Birds. Listen to the sounds of nature. They are there no matter where you are. Watch the tiniest insect for a moment and be amazed at what they can do.

Find people at work with a positive mental attitude. Make it your goal to be around those people as much as you can and when you are with others, who tend to focus on the negative, try to avoid those conversations and steer the talks to something good.

Choose a moment in the day to take a break. It may be for five minutes or it may be for 30 seconds. Reflect on something that you are striving for (or will start striving for) that will enrich your life and the lives of those you care about. It could be a vacation, a home improvement project, a creative family endeavor or anything else that is out of the ordinary and get everyone away from their routines and “in the moment”.

Take some time to listen at the end of the day to each family member and have them tell you something inspiring that happened that day. They can follow with why that makes them feel thankful.

Write down in a journal three things that you are grateful for that happened today. Make sure that at least one of them is something completely new or at the very least rare.
There you have it! The secret to happiness is focusing the mind away from worry, away from judgment and onto the beauty of the world. It is so easy to let ourselves get lost in the detritus of this existence but remember that there is beauty all around us. Love yourself and your place in the world and be aware of how that can make you feel and how you make others feel by extension.

Be happy. Be thankful. Be giving. Be loving. It’s not easy but it’s that simple.

Wait a minute! Where’s the others?!?

The first 10 Easy Exercises are things to do every day.
The Following are exercises to do once a month.
They follow the same patterns as the One Minute Meditations
And the 365 Mentoring moments.
Those are quick ideas to inspire and keep with you during the day.
The following are actual exercises to try for about 5 minutes a day.

The Daily Themes:
Friday: Observe Something Special
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Share A Meal
Monday: Communication – You Listen
Tuesday: Generativity (adding something meaningful to your day)
Wednesday: Communication – You Share
Thursday: Free For All! (Whatever floats your boat – spiritually 🙂

This Week’s Theme: Giving Children Their Space

Friday: The best leaders are the best followers Teach your child to lead by letting them have a leadership excursion. Make it appropriate to their age and abilities and let them organize it, lead it and deal with the mess-ups that may occur. Avoid micro-managing, judging or complaining. You will be surprised at who learns the most from this.

Saturday: Walk for adventure. : Let your feet guide you. Your sense feed you. Your heart inspire you. Leave your worries, your planning, your electronics at home. Do this for as little as 10 or as much as 60 minutes. All the great thinkers of times past used one hour walks for inspiration.

Sunday: You are what you eat. Take time to plan your meal tonight. Make something just for yourself that is nourishing to the senses and to the soul. Make sure it also is healthy, colorful and ethically made. Think of those who make all the different parts and give thanks to them before consuming it.

Monday: We learn from listening. Decide today that you will pretend that you don’t know the best answer, the proper quip or the smartest piece of information. Think of yourself today as a miner of the gold in the thoughts of others. You mine gold by sifting through all the crud to the rich nuggets.

Tuesday: The three most important rules for mentoring a child 1) Be Kind. 2) Be Kind. 3) Be Kind. How do you do that? Let go of judgments. Give your child a safe place to go “out there” and try things. Let them learn from their mistakes. Be there as a sounding board.

Wednesday: We are either succeeding or we are learning Help show your child examples of great people (or ones you know) learning and doing something outstanding by not being stopped and sometimes changing direction through failures.
The easy example: Edison and the Light Bulb.

Thursday: Be Fletcher Reede The character from the film Liar Liar was cursed into being forced to say the truth. Try the same thing but filter it with kindness, wisdom and only that which will inspire others. A truth told before its time is worse than a lie.

Stay tuned for more!

The Slacker’s Guide To Success – Step 7 – Follow Your Bliss!!!

The Slacker’s Guide to Success is Ken Rabow’s method based on his work with Troubled Teens and Millenials over the past 13 years. Here is an excerpt. Enjoy!

What if you could do anything you wanted to with your life?
What would you do? How would you be? How would you go about it? Who would you seek out? What if it wasn’t what you thought it would be? How would you know when you’d arrived?

Be careful what you wish for. I am going to give you the keys to make whatever you want happen as long as it is for the benefit of all who are touched by your choices. These ideas have been stated many times in many ways by many people, but this one is written for you.

Pick your target: What is it that makes you happy when you are doing it but also contributes to the human collective? If this is something you would be happy doing for the next 10 years, choose this as your target.

Be the arrow: The only thing stopping us is our fears and limiting beliefs. When we eliminate those, anything is possible. If you have reached this stage in the steps to success, you are ready to go after your dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s impractical. Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do it. The people who have achieved greatness had everything you and I have, they just followed their bliss.

The Bliss Process
Target– Think of your target. Make this your focus for everything you do from now on. As you get closer to your target, you will receive tempting offers to do other things. If it is not “on target” …. let it go! You will be richly rewarded for staying on your passions.
Aim – Your short term ways of hitting your target require aim. Focus on what you need to hit your target and make this your daily work.
Adjust – Nothing comes easy (unless you truly believe it can). When you aim and miss, be ok with missing and simply adjust, re-aim and do it again. Someone once said; “I’m either getting it right or I’m learning”.

Seek out those of like minds. If you are the smartest and anything-est in your group, find another group. Your life skills are affected by those who you spend time with. If they are successful and happy, you will learn subtle skills and positive subconscious self-speak that will help you succeed and bring you joy and happiness through osmosis.

Reboot the arrow: People never die regretting what they did. They regret what they didn’t do. Having said that, sometimes you dive into something, embrace it with all of your heart only to discover it wasn’t for you. You now have two camps: a) those who say “you started it, you finish it or you’re a quitter” b) those who say “life is a series of experiences bumping into accidents on the way to your bliss”. It’s not what you do but what you learn from the experience that counts.

Pierce the target: Guess what, we almost never arrive. New targets will come, new adventures will unfold themselves to you if you are on your true path. It is only in trying to make the world a bit better, that we leave a legacy of love that resonates beyond the ages. Nothing resonates as much as loving your fellow human being. So many people spend their lives looking at what is wrong with the world. Look for what is right. It’s easier and more fun.

What did you do as a child that created timelessness, that made you forget time. Therein lies the myth to live by”… Joseph Campbell

The Slacker’s Guide to Success – Step 12 – A Full Life

Helping Millenials Have A Full Life
Just imagine… A happy, successful, life where play-time is as fulfilling as work-time and learning-time. Relationships become opportunities for joy, sharing and lots of close, meaningful contact that is mutually satisfying.

But seriously, we’re talking about a full life for teens and young adults. Let’s face it, the teenage years are not easy and they’re not drama-free. Basically there’s lots in them that sucks.

Tell yourself: “You can have a full life that still sucks from time to time. You can have meltdowns and do some really dumb stuff. The difference is, unlike Bart with Rock Paper Scissors, you can learn from it all, if you choose to”.

To the parents: The best way to teach is by example. Try the following exercises and share the experience with your child. Wait for them to ask to try some of it on their own and if they don’t, find a challenging moment for them and when the dust settles, ask how mindfulness might have changed how they would have dealt with the situation.

Being mindful.
We all have moments when we are at our best and nothing can throw us off. Sometimes it can feel like we are outside of ourselves watching the events take place and just knowing what the wise and just responses for anything that comes our way would be. That is being mindful. Then there are the times that we aren’t so mindful. Times when our antics get the ‘rents to ask us: whose kid are you anyways?!?

What follows is a way to get yourself to be present and aware in all circumstances so that on your worst day, you are making conscious choices that can lead to great moments of clarity. I have been teaching this to young adults for the past eleven years and it always has met with success. Just know that sometimes it takes a bit more time to take hold. Don’t give up. It really is worth it and if it was easy, everyone would do it.

It starts with quieting your mind at the beginning of a new day.
Take a few moments upon arising to breath in slowly and deeply, then let out the breath even more slowly. Try to focus, if you can, on the flow of your breath. Imagine letting go of any stress, tension or worries and breath in qualities such as calm, peacefulness or good health. Do this for a few minutes every day.
Taking a few moments to empty your mind of word “noise” can help you throughout the day perceive what is happening around you without your emotional filters getting in the way.

Repeat a meaningful phrase to yourself of something you wish to accomplish that day: i.e.
a) Today, I will focus on being present for all conversations that are important to me and I will be great at it!
b) Today, I am calm, centered and open to being my best.
c) Today, I will share my thoughts deeply, honestly and with kindness.
d) Today, I will be a team player, thinking about what will help us succeed.
e) Make up your own here _______________________________________

Now we shall bring this concept into our learning, work, play and relationships.

Being mindful in learning: It doesn’t matter if your are learning for school, work or a hobby. This is about seeing what learning style you are best at and how you learn. Use this awareness of your strengths to make your own successful learning methods.
a) Take a moment and look at what you need to accomplish today in your learning.
b) Break it down into sections and make a rough estimate of how much time is need for each part.
c) Figure out how much time is reasonable for you to prepare today, taking into account the best amount of time at one sitting for you to work and how much break time is reasonable.
d) Determine how you learn best. Are you visual (V), auditory (A) or kinesthetic (K). Figure out which is first, which is second and which is third. Adjust your learning so that you incorporate at least your two major learning styles in your work. For example if you are VAK, you might read the material, then repeat it aloud. If you are VKA, you might read it then write it in your own words (probably hand written would be best).
e) When you are engaged in learning something, be aware of where your attention is and when it drifts, gently return it to the subject at hand.

Being mindful in work:
There are constant opportunities at work to give more than what is requested of you. Each time you give a little more than what is asked of you from a caring, humble place, you set the forces of the laws of return in motion. The law of return states that: for every action, there is an equal or greater reaction. When you plant a seed and tend to it, you receive not just one seed back but a whole crop of whatever it was that you planted. If you are not rewarded when you have proven yourself, ask for that reward, if it is still not forthcoming, find some other employer who will appreciate your extra effort. Always give more than what is asked of you. You will get noticed for this and rewarded over time.

Being mindful in play.
There are so many aspects to being mindful at play. Not just in the details of the game but also in relating to the other players in the game. How do they present themselves? Will they be assets or liabilities? How are they when they win? How are they when they lose? How are they when something unexpected throws them off? More importantly, how are you in all those circumstances? This tells you so much more than just skill level can. Mindfulness in play is about being aware of the game, the people and a sense of proportion while seeing the metaphors for how to be in life in the act of play.

Being mindful in relationships.
There are those who are always in some sort of a “relationship” and those who have never been in a relationship.
If you are in a relationship, the two most important tools are
1) learning to listen and 2) knowing how to argue well.
Learning to listen requires putting aside what you think is right and understand things from your partner’s perspective. Knowing how to argue well means focusing on what is annoying you at the time, without bringing in the past, judging the person or blaming the person.
If you have not been in a relationship, one thing is for sure. Nothing will get you to grow more than a serious relationship. It challenges all your comfort zones, takes away time from serious vegging yet has so much to offer.
Think of the type of partner you would want in your life. Their qualities, their demeanor and then imagine the type of person you want to be to attract that person. This is still about being you but also growing in relationship maturity to get a mature relationship.

All of these different parts of being mindful make for a full life.

When you are mindful in these parts of your daily life, your life is one of being there. Of really living and not just killing time to go virtual. Learning to care and to matter may be one of the greatest commodities in the coming age of ideas because then your work, play, study and relationship times become places to experience, feel, think and grow.

Live each day like it was the only one you have. Care about people and learn from everything. Most importantly; write, blog, tell stories, share stories and listen to stories because all we have after we’re gone are the stories we leave behind. Leave a good one. Leave stories of a life lived on purpose that was well-lived and touched others in a meaningful way. That is a full life.

When parents embrace the idea that by living a full life we can have a greater impact than all the words, all the images and all the sounds running through a young person’s life today, we can truly change the world for the better.

365 Mentoring Moments

As a Life Empowerment Coach/Mentor, my job is to help young people find their personal success when they have only had people focus on what was “wrong” with them in the past. 365 Mentoring moments is a companion daily exercise to the 1 Minute Meditations, based on the same weekly form and connected to my different articles that ultimately work with my 13 Chapter Book “The Slacker’s Guide to Success”.

Try them! They really change the dynamic in a family and they’re direct from whatever it is that inspires me… Ken

The Daily Themes:

Friday: Observe Something Special
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Share A Meal
Monday: Communication – You Listen
Tuesday: Generativity (adding something meaningful to your day)
Wednesday: Communication – You Share
Thursday: Free For All! (Whatever floats your boat – spiritually 🙂

This week’s Mentoring Moments:

Week 3 – Picking new things to do:

Friday: Do something together like painting, or making models or something with play-dough
Saturday See how long you can both keep silent with nothing on. Just looking at each other.
Sunday: Try a new game with your child that involves music
Monday: Let you child teach you about one of their favorite foods and you do the same.
Tuesday: Ask you child to talk about one interesting thing they witnessed today. Be patient while they try to find it.
Wednesday: Let you child know which strangers are ok to be friendly with.
Thursday: Ask your child to tell you something special about someone in your family.

Week 1 – Investigation

Friday: Catch your child doing something right.
Saturday: Let go of criticizing, commenting, judging and just look for the good in your child
Sunday: Let your child teach you a recipe and have them guide you. Follow their direction as though you were the student and they were the teacher.
Monday: Listen for anything your child says that is positive and comment on how it makes you feel.
Tuesday: Be generative by adding one thing in your day that isn’t what you “have” to do but what makes life better.
Wednesday: Share your thoughts on a world event and how it can make the world a better place.
Thursday: Watch something your child loves that you couldn’t be paid to watch and see it through their eyes.

Week 2: Judging and Judgment-Free

Friday,Observe something special in nature today and share it with your child.

Sat:Let your child do stuff for themselves today and comment on what parts of it showed intention.

Sun:Share a favorite food of your child’s and invite them to explain what they like about it. Be OK with “Idunno”.

Mon: Listen for what makes your child laugh. Appreciate their humour.

Tue: Be generative today by nurturing something that grows. A pet. A plant or just really hug a tree. (blame me if someone sees you ☺ Tell your child what you did and how it felt.

Wed: Share a moving time from your childhood that you have never told your child before.

Thur: Sing a song! Loud. With all your heart. With all your soul and if someone disses your singing just tell them that they missed the point.

More to come!

1 Minute Meditations

Life is hectic (big shock, I know)
If we can stop for even one moment a day and focus on something greater than our “to-do” list, we can start to let our best nature have a chance to flow into every aspect of our lives.

One minute meditations are based on a weekly plan. Each day has a theme. The meditations can take as little as one minute and can be repeated throughout the day. To make them more profound, share a thought with us on which one touched you and how you used it.

I use these with some of my clients as a springboard for meditation and to get my clients “out of their heads and into their hearts”.

The Daily Themes:
Friday: Observe Something Special
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Share A Meal
Monday: Communication – You Listen
Tuesday: Generativity (adding something meaningful to your day)
Wednesday: Communication – You Share
Thursday: Free For All! (Whatever floats your boat – spiritually 🙂

One Minute Meditations

Week 1 – Investigation
Friday: Pay attention to how often you use the word “no” during the day and replace it when you can with “yes”!
Saturday: Want to change your life? Take five minutes – empty your mind and …wait
Sunday: At meal time share something you’ve done this week that was positive.
Monday: Stop! Look them in the eyes and let them finish what they are saying. They will feel really heard.
Tuesday: The first step in changing your life is doing something good for yourself daily and keeping track of it
Wednesday: Eliminate one fear by letting someone know one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses
Thursday: You can be great at almost anything once you get past perfectionism

Week 2 – Judging and Judgment-Free

Friday: Catch your child doing something right
Saturday: Change starts by doing 5 minutes a day of good stuff and building on it
Sunday: Let your child cook tonight. Be their sous-chef
Monday: Just for today, when your child speaks take in their words history-free
Tuesday: Start a change jar to give to some coins to charity. Put some in whenever you feel thankful
Wednesday: Do a random act of kindness and share it with your family.
Thursday: Don’t just read stuff on the internet – do something in real life! Now!

Secret S**t Your Kids Won’t Tell You

There are so many things that teens and Millenials think that are simply not being heard by their parents. How do I get to hear it? As a life coach for troubled teens and unmotivated millenials, I ask the simple, slightly obvious questions that it seems no one asks them or takes seriously.

What is weird is that once you hear the answers they seem obvious and they actually work!
This will be series of short facts and solutions.
If you like them or if you have one you want us to look at please comment at the bottom of this blog.

The following are in no apparent order. Just when they are shared by my clients.

Case Study #3 – Why I Have So Much Anxiety Reason # 12

Kid’s Statement: I never know what will trigger it but when the anxiety comes I lose all control and feel lost. I get these attacks 4 – 6 times a day.
Fact: Most anxieties have specific triggers.
Question: How many attacks to you get?
Response: I’m always anxious. I get many attacks a day. I can have between four and six in a single class.
Ken: Are their times you can control them?
Client: Yes.
Ken: When and how.
Client: When they are not taking over. I can just calm myself down.
Ken: What is the range for your anxiety?
Client: My panic scale goes from 1 – 20. Up to six I can calm myself down. At 10, I’d stay home. 10 – 15 is a no man’s land. I’m a crying mess. At 20 I won’t remember saying or doing things. Over 10 I’m sort of out of control. Between 6 and 10 grounding exercises will help me snap back out of it.

Ken: What if I could show you a way to be anxiety free for one day a week?
Client: I would get anxiety without my anxiety.
Ken: That makes sense. Let’s find something that you would be OK having instead of anxiety. That let’s you feel safe. In command. And that you might prefer.

Result: Client now has two anxiety-free days a week and averages two to three panic attacks on other days. Client goes above 10 only once every one or two weeks and the over-all scale is reducing in intensity. Client is also finding that they can enjoy the healthy feelings they are choosing on the anxiety free day and has begun writing brilliant poetry.

Ken’s Comment: There is no way that this sort of issue that presents itself in this way can be dealt with by close family members. It requires an outside coach. My concern is that certain people would be too quick to medicate such a client. Although I am in favor of medication when self-harm is apparent, I do not feel that such a client, in this case required it and in fact, they didn’t.
Sometimes the triggers are not the first place to go. If the client already has some coping mechanisms, I want to get those “solid” before going back to the triggers. Everything is based on what the client’s strengths are. Rules are made to be broken 🙂

TIP #! Daily Showering (or the lack thereof)
Statement: “I only shower when I need to or if I have worked out or if I’m going out somewhere special”.
Fact: They sometimes smell like a homeless person.
Question: “Why don’t you wash more often?”
Response: “It dries out my skin”.
Ken: “What do you wash yourself with”.
Client: “(A commonwealth country) spring”.
Ken: You know, its close to impossible to really tell if you smell ok or nasty at least 1/2 the time. If I got you a quality shower soap, that didn’t have toxic crap in it, had moisturizers and didn’t have you smelling like a tart. would you try it?
Client: Sure!

Client now washes (almost) every day.
Ken’s comment. Up until now the discussion between parent and child stopped at you smell like a homeless person.

TIP #2 Reasons NOT to study – Reason #372

Kid’s Statement: I always intend to study and the day just slips away from me. Before I know it, the day’s done.
Fact: You know you’re not going to study and we know you’re not going to study.
Question: Why aren’t you studying?
Response: I just can’t seem to get organized.
Ken: If you started doing three 5 – 15 minute sessions of study a day, do you think you could handle that?
Client: I think that is do-able.
Ken: Let’s just start with that and figure out in each day the best time to get those sessions in and see what happens. Tick them off in a chart so we can figure out your best patterns.
Client: I can handle that.
Result: Within one month, client is doing three 15 – 25 minute sessions and learning how to take brakes (and what kind to take) and get back to studying.
Ken’s Comment: Parents pointing out the problem or telling them to “just do it” only reinforces the child’s self-condemnation. It’s kind of like the Chinese finger puzzle.

Stay tuned for more Secrets!

Finding The Confidence ……. To Find Love

As a life coach for troubled teens and unmotivated Millenials, I work with a lot of people with mental health issues ranging from anxiety to schizophrenia. What is really a great honor is to have people in their teens and 20’s trust me enough to share their deepest thoughts about their lives with me.

Sometimes, these thoughts need to be shared. I am doing so now with permission.

Meet Reginald (Really? You think that there is a twenty-something schizophrenic living in Toronto in the 21st century named Reginald?!?). No, it’s not his real name. He is on a fair bit of medication which he takes consistently since we have been working together. Reginald has gone back to university and is following my regimen of taking one course in semester one, two in 2nd semester, all the way up to five once he has learned how to study efficiently, prepare to write papers (not in the 24 hours before its due) and work with T.A’s and teachers when something doesn’t make sense.

Regg is doing famously. He is also in a wheelchair, more round than tall and although when I met him he radiated “I know more than you” (which he often did) he now radiates the warmth, the grace, the brilliant humour which is how I know Reginald to be.

So here we are. Doing great at school (low 80’s), contributing really well in class and what should come along? Valentine’s day! And who is sitting next to him in class but a warm, sensitive woman who seems to “get” Regg’s humour and he senses there is something there. Now remember, this is Reginald 2.0. Through the work we’ve done he has found new faith in himself and his self-worth has grown with every task we have set upon doing and succeeding or figuring out how to rise above.

They go for coffee. They share thoughts. They share fears. Esmeralda shares the fact that she used to be a cutter and then Reginald tells her that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Esmeralda’s starts shifting uncomfortably in her seat, not making eye contact and shortly afterwards excuses herself due to a very bad headache. She also doesn’t sit on the same side of class anymore.

I see Regg twice a week, which I do with all my clients, better to reinforce good habits and less time to acquire bad ones. We meet the next day and he shares the Esmarelda incident with me.

What do you say to someone who is the most thoughtful, astute, wise and sensitive guy you could know who has just had all his self-worth shattered. His greatest fears realized. “No one will ever love me for who I am”.

This is not just the cry of all the Reginalds in the world. It is the call of a great many people out there who feel less than worthy.

I told Regg the simple truth: “Regg, you are special. There is no one like you and I feel honored to work with you, laugh with you and learn from you. There is no question that there are other people out there like me who will see you for who you are and women who will not care about any labels you may have. They will fall in love with you”.

You can’t just give up because you haven’t found love or met people who live their lives based on appearances or fear. You know that. Tell yourself: “I deserve to be loved. I deserve happiness and I will be patient and relentless in my pursuit of both”. Say it again.
Say it everyday into the mirror while looking into your deepest self.

To all the Reginalds and the Esmeraldas out there: Keep your eyes sharp, your hearts open, your faith strong and your resolve everlasting and Happy Valentines Day to those who are loved and those waiting to know that there is a lover out there who will love them as they are.

Check out more of Ken’s articles on Huffington Post by clicking here

Valentine’s Day, Romance and Millenials

From Romeo and Juliet to Pyramus and Thisbe and beyond, Millenials having been teeing off parents in their romantic choices for thousands of year. If this has been going on that long, what chance do we have in getting today’s Millenials to do any better?

Let’s imagine the following to be true for a moment:
1) It is in a Millenial’s DNA to want to experience romantic love. (remember, people didn’t live that much past their 30’s for most of recorded history, so families were being made right after puberty)
2) It is also deeply ingrained in Millenials to challenge authority. (This would come in handy when caveman “b” didn’t want cave-Millenial “c” to rub those sticks together and make that fire thing because that wasn’t what grand-cave-pa “a” did).
3) It is very much part of every Millenial to want to be part of a collective. (Back to our cave … more people together, less likely that you are the saber-tooth’s happy meal)

So how does this play out for today’s Millenials if it is in their DNA to want the above three things which puts them at odds with their families? Throughout history, we have had many elders that the upcoming generation could go to and learn from in different ways of being. It was through ritual, tribe and faith (with a special nod to fear) that the clans survived.

So, to transpose that into today’s world: we have supplanted romantic love with inhuman cosmetic ads and reality TV shows with medically altered contestants.
We have replaced the authority of family with scientists (9 out of 10 doctors proscribe bland-ex) and our predilection for tribes shows up for the best and worst in flash-mobs and social media.

Can you blame a kid for feeling messed up about romance?
How do we model romance in a world where companies spend billions of dollars a year convincing us to consume stuff to compensate for the inadequacies that they convinced us we had?

Facts about romantic love:
The best thing a father can do for his daughter is love his wife.
The best thing a mother can do for her son is love her husband.
Taking the time for each other as parents and showing one’s affection for each other creates a great model for romantic love.
Arguing with each other using healthy conflict-resolution skills will help your children in many future situations.
Taking quality time with your children from reading to them in bed, to letting them teach you what they have learned or about their hobbies empowers them and allows them to seek out similar people who want to embrace the best in life.

So when your young adult comes to you in puppy-love wanting to give or get some flowers from someone you are not sure you want in your house, smile and make sure they remember the following:
Romance, rising above your parents and finding like-minded people can become the passing of the torch to Millenials in the very best of ways when we commit to loving, healthy relationships and bring these qualities into our daily family lives.
And for those who can’t…. there’s always bland-ex! 🙂

What’s the Point of Doing This?… The Teenage Mantra

So, you’ve asked your teen for the 400th time to do whatever.
You scream in front of their “friends”. Your yelled back at. Doors are sent slamming and just as the door is about to close you hear the words: “What’s the point of doing this anyways!!!”

I was just Skyping with one of my younger clients who seemed to have the nervous habit of tapping continuously at his keyboard while we Skyped. When I occasionally asked why he was doing this, he responded; “I’m not doing anything! I just like to tap.”

One day, he tapped the wrong button on his laptop and the sound of a snorting beast being zapped by a space ray filled the room. So there you have it, the “moment of truth”.

(First, confirmation)
Me: So, you’ve been playing this game for the last six sessions while we’ve been Skyping?
Skeeter: Well, not all the time.
Me: Most of the time?
Skeeter: Yeah. Pretty much. It’s so addictive!
Me: I can understand that. But, you’ve been telling me that you weren’t doing anything, right?
Skeeter: Yeah.
Me: Can you see where I’d have a problem with that?
Skeeter: I guess.
Me: What do you think the problem with that is?
Skeeter: ‘Cause I was lying?
Me: And what’s wrong with lying?
Skeeter: It’s …. Bad?
Me: Why is it bad?
Skeeter: I dunno.

(Time for left field)
Me: What do you know about Abraham Lincoln?
Skeeter: He looked weird, he became president. He got shot.
Me: True. Do you know anything about his life?
Skeeter: Nuh-uh.
Me: When Lincoln ran for president, he was an unknown and considered a “hick”. He was running against three of the greatest hopes for the presidency yet it was he who won. One of those men, Stanton, wrote about the new President’s choices as “the painful imbecility of Lincoln.” Yet, Lincoln saw a greatness in Stanton that would help the country and brought him into Cabinet.

When Lincoln was assassinated it was Stanton who said: “There lies the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen. Now he belongs to the ages”.
Lincoln was a man of great character that even his detractors could recognize.

(The Point?)

I’m not going to ask you every time if you are still playing that game anymore.
I’m just going to ask you one thing.
Skeeter: What’s that?
Me: Do I have your word of honor that you won’t play the game while we work?
Skeeter: Yes.
Me: Longer, please.
Skeeter: Yes, I give you my word of honor.
Me: That’s all I need. I know I don’t have to worry about that again
(And Skeeter never did play that game during our Skype sessions again).

So, why do I tell you this story?
Because there is no answer to “why should I bother!”
There is only the opportunity to find some way to challenge a young person to want to be a person of good character.
I don’t know why we don’t champion that in daily life anymore but let’s start.
Share with me an example of how you inspired you child to be a person of good character.

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The Slacker’s Guide to Success – Introduction

The Slacker’s Guide to Success is Ken Rabow’s method based on his work Life Coaching Troubled Teens, Young Adults and their Families over the past 13 years. Here is an excerpt. Enjoy!

An Introduction to The Slackers Guide to Success By Ken Rabow
So, you know you’re brilliant. Your parents know you’re brilliant. Your dog thinks you’re amazing, then why are so many things not working out in your life?

Hi, My name is Ken Rabow and I work with young adults struggling to find their place in the world. The ones I take on as clients are those who really want to make changes in their lives. Many of the clients I work with come to me when they have…
a) Been stuck in part-time jobs without a future
b) Become addicted to video games; or pot; or magic cards or something else.
c) Failed a course, a term or a whole school year
d) Major sleep or anger “issues”
e) All of the above.
Don’t you just love multiple choice?!?

As one of my clients once said to me:
“I really like staying at home, playing video games all day in my bathrobe…..
but I’m beginning to think that it’s not a great long-term plan”.
Let us call that client Skeeter. At the writing of this blog Skeeter is back in school working on a science degree. In his first semester, he caught the attention of an amazing professor doing ground-breaking research who has hired Skeeter in the lab.
So how did Skeeter go from being a stay-in-his room slacker to an up-and-coming science guy? And why should you care if you are into something else or don’t even want to go to school but have dreams of starting your own business or killer app?
Because! 🙂

Okay, that’s a parent-y answer. The real answer is that what worked for Skeeter can work for you in any field, in any format, in any situation. Your success will come from:
• finding your power
• learning to believe in yourself
• determining how to build habits that guarantee success and
• discovering the secret to success through messing up.

Yes, I’m here to tell you that you can’t really be great at anything until you can get past…. perfectionism.
That’s what this system is all about and it works! Each time. Every time.
I’ve seen so many young people change their lives around. There are a lot of people out there who deserve to learn how to be their very best and do great things in their lives.
I’ve written these articles so you can benefit from this “out of the box” approach that I have refined in my private practice over the years. This process that will enable you to succeed on your own terms. If you follow this method, you will find yourself growing in character and soon enough you will discover yourself achieving successes you didn’t dare dream of. You will find that it’s great to get out of bed every morning, feeling good about
An Introduction to The Slackers Guide to Success By Ken Rabow
doing things that earns people’s respect. More importantly, you will feel good about yourself for your personal achievements
.
You will need to do these exercises with a coach/mentor, preferably someone who is not a close relative or who sees you on a day-to-day basis. You need someone you can talk to, someone who will keep your secrets, someone who will respect you and let you grow at your own pace.
There are three sections in these articles and each section is one full stage of development. The first stage is personal development, the second stage, professional develpment is bringing your personal development out into the world with your new strengths and the third stage, inner development is giving back to the world and growing as a person.
Here is a brief outline of the 13 steps in three stages. Enjoy!
Stage One – Personal Development
1) Investigation: Looking at our strengths; challenges, past patterns; coping strategies and choosing role models and events or ideas as inspirations.
2) Opportunity: Searching for a mentor. Choosing three goals, defining the challenges to those goals and indicators of success
3) Mindsets: Abundance, Poverty Mentality and False Epiphanies.
4) Generativity: Creating your daily routine of a personal meaningful practice.
Finding the blocks that stop you from succeeding and creating remedies.
5) Out Into The World (and back again) Bringing your new skills in to practice in the outside world in a safe and limited way.
6) Setting limits: Learning to set limits gracefully on the time-stealers in your life.
7) Direction. (Following your bliss) Creating the groundwork for a successful, enjoyable life.
Stage Two – Professional Development
8) Out into the world: Putting into practice stage one in a more extended fashion and transforming all you have learned into new situations.
9) Forming new boxes of safety: Using mindfulness and success consciousness out there and seeing how they work in new situations while learning to feel safe.
10) Creating new generative structures. Schedules, coping and new friends.
11) Making your addictions work for you. Using your urges to indulge your addictions as a reward for doing the work you need to get done.
Stage Three – Inner Development
12) A complete life. Learning a sustainable daily practice of being mindful in
learning, work, relationships and even play.
13) Pay it forward: Once you’ve reached this point, your life is richer, you are happier and you will truly want to help others grow in their own way. This step will teach you how to do that.

Get the book; paperback or Kindle! Click here

Ten Tips For Fostering Creativity In Your Children

If you are a parent today in the western world, you have joined a very special club. A club of parents cast adrift, drowning in self-doubt while dodging waves of pyscho-babble lurching at them from every direction. It’s easy to throw blame around but what is the main question we all want the answer? “How do I help my child unfold to be their very best in today’s world?”

10 Tips to Foster Creativity in Your Children

Encourage your kids to sign up and embrace something that they love. Whether it’s drumming, hip-hop or clown school — give them opportunities to go out, sign up, and then make sure to give them the time and space to choose to do the work required at home.This is a recipe for self-discovery and building self-esteem.

1) Comedy: Join a comedy troupe. Then when someone asks: “What are you? A comedian?”, they can answer: “Yes!”

2) Start a Business: Dog walking. Cat sitting. Lawn mowing. Make something cool that people need like funky knitted hats. Find ways to get customers and learn how to keep them as well.

3) Write a Family History: It could be a book, a video, or it could be a blog. When you combine personal history with storytelling, you end up with a powerful creative skill.

4) Make Some Protest Songs: If you play an instrument you could write songs using your guitar or piano. If not, there are great music-creating software programs out there. Go out and sing those songs wherever and whenever you can.

5) Create Your Own Muppets: Find a character. Do parties. Go to hospital wards and have your new creation meet and greet. (That’s how Elmo started)

6) Knitting or Crocheting: This is huge these days with kids in their teens and twenties. There are knitting raves and flashmob knitting — it’s just a great thing that’s being re-invented. Yarn-bombing around telephone poles. Knitting cellphone covers, wine bottle covers, dog coats and more. This ain’t your Granny’s knitting!

7) Claymation: It’s slow — painstakingly so — but amazing. If you are willing to put in the time, you can create new universes and have them do what you want to do and say what you want them to say.

8) Filmmaking: This is how the great directors started: just doing it on their own on zero or minimal budgets. Sometimes, we can tell the very best story when we are limited in the way we can tell that story. Filmmaking on a budget can do that.

9) Cooking: Some film directors have likened making a film to cooking a meal: choosing your meal and getting the recipes is like the script. Shopping for the perfect ingredients is like shooting the film. Cooking the meal is like editing and the place setting and the food placement is like the theatrical opening of the show. See food that way and open up to a whole new experience in dining.

10) Write and Perform: Make your own musical on a theme that means something to you. This gets you to do some acting, singing, script-writing, set and costume design, marketing and build your organizational skills (when you get others involved).

It’s not important what creative outlet your child chooses, how they do it, or what they can do with it. It really is the process that enriches their lives. It teaches so many skills like patience, perseverance, faith in themselves and most important of all, it teaches them to marvel at the creative process from chaos to completion. A skill that many have lost appreciation for.

One last thing: If you are reading this, you are a parent who cares. Sometimes that may be all you need but never underestimate your child as a resource to guide you in what to do as a parent. Ask them. You may be surprised by their answers. Share in their creative endeavors as an impassioned spectator. Join in their communities and honour their mentors who earn your trust.

Empowering this new generation will give them something that stays with them their whole life. One of the most powerful forces for change is creativity. Nurture this in your children and you will open a place for self-worth to grow. A fantastic opportunity to believe in themselves. You have that power. That may be one of the greatest creative acts in a lifetime. Make it so!

Young Adults Communication Issues

Young Adult Communication Issues: Baby-Boomers and Cyberdonians

Baby-boomers. You thought you had it all together, man!

Like, you were totally prepared! The right retirement savings plan, paid off the house early, avoided Bernie Madoff and even had time to live a healthy enough lifestyle to enjoy your retirement but… the dread young adults communication issues.

The one thing you could never have planed for,
the one thing that makes Madoff look like a shmear at Carnegie deli reared it’s uncoiffed head… Cyberdnians! Young adults communication issues, work problems, school challenges, etc. If we were prone to metaphors, we might liken them to hurricanes on cyprolex… wiping out people’s savings, destroying homes (at least making them very messy), going into a rages or depressions without warning and sleeping really late while texting… so much for the metaphors.

Now here you are having to continue to work to pay for a 2nd or 3rd university education to prepare your 20-something to work as a Barista (not that there’s anything wrong with that).


Cyberdnians: You thought you had it all together, bro.

You had it totally planned. If by planned you mean buying into the ‘rents song and dance about education, hockey and
showing up for Christmas (and actually talking), avoiding the great recession by … oh wait… you didn’t ☹ They way you see young adults communication issues is in your parents problems. (they feel the same way btw).

The one thing you never planned for
, the one thing that makes the great recession look like a bad socio-economic hair day is the dreaded… Boomers! If we were prone to metaphors… OK, so I like metaphors, get over it! It would be like a big needy Kangaroo on Prozac, sucking up all the fun in life and sitting it’s big ass down on that place in line called “the gravy train”. Sucking up all that gravy, while letting some of it drop onto it’s gravy-stained golf shirt. Slowly, it turns back to the millennial stuck behind them in the next Kangaroo pouch and says “suck it up princess, its your fault I have to keep working”.

But wait! There is a way out of being stuck in the gravy-train line to nowhere-ville.

Here are the seven things Cyberdonians and Boomers can do to survive each other and eliminate young adults communication issues.


1. Avoid really talking to each other!
Talking is vastly over-rated. All it does it force you to actually hear the other’s side of things and that can only lead to understanding. which makes resentment much more difficult.

2. Eschew finding things you have in common. It’s soo hard to mock someone when you have common ground. Stuff you both like can really challenge the best reasons why everything is the other person’s fault.

3. Circumvent occasions for pleasantries. Nothing good comes from giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. They have a better opportunity for “winning” and you have missed the best opportunity for a cheap shot.

4. Sidestep teaching moments. Your job is not to teach by example, your job is complain why they aren’t doing what they should be doing.

But wait! There’s more!

5. Circumnavigate the cesspool of “sentiments”. Hey if showing your vulnerabilities would help, Oprah would be a multi-millionaire by now.
And exactly how could showing your vulnerabilities ever help the other side to do anything but take advantage of you. Better to be a dork with a cork then take the chance of sharing your deepest feelings.

6. Duck danger with disbelief. Believing in them? What is this, the land of the lost boys? Nine out of ten scientists have proven that showing lack of faith for each other is a great way to enjoy the day… of course they also said that about cigarettes in the 50’s.

7. Unconditional Love? We don’t need no stinkin’ unconditional love! It’s so messy. It makes you feel things and let’s face it, most of the times in the past when you opened up your heart to them, they didn’t just step on it, they ground their heel in it, through in some chipotle mix, a can of refired beans and then made a meal out of it. Why would anyone take the chance of unconditionally loving someone when things have gone wrong in the past?

There you have it.

The secrets to surviving each other in a challenging time.
Let me know how it worked for you. Did I mention I have some swampland for sale?

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Troubled Teens and Young Adults who Lack Motivation

For teens with anxiety, millennials dealing with self doubt, the slackers and the stoners who seem to lack motivation; there is one mantra they all share: “If I choose to fail and do… then I win”!

Let me repeat this for the high achieving, hard-working parents out there: Your child’s mantra just may be
” if I choose to fail and I do, I win”. Sends a shiver down your spine, doesn’t it? It should! It’s hard to know what is scarier. The fact that they think this or the fact that they would never tell you this. Yet, this is something I hear from new clients on a regular basis. y

Here’s the good News: They really do want to win. They just don’t have a single clue on how to do it. Let me share with you an example:

Take “Skeeter”.
A pot smoking stoner
who has made the skill of ignoring the outcome of his lack of effort in school, hygiene and relationships into and art.

What is odd is that when you get past all the negative situations that Skeeter has been through and really talk and listen to him, he really wants to succeed but he just doesn’t have a clue how to do that, so he channels all of his desires into self-sabotage. This goes on for so long that it is almost impossible for Skeeter to remember that this was a coping mechanism and not his true nature.

Given the opportunity, most people really will choose to succeed.

So what is the secret recipe. How do I get the self-sabotageurs to get “back on track”.
There are as many answers as there are clients. No two people have exactly the same road to travel but there are some common threads.

The first step is to believe that they really do want to succeed and that it is up to the Mentor to help them find “micro-successes”. Before I explain micro-successes, let me point out that what they have been learning up until now is that no matter what they are told, whatever they try will end up in failure, hurt feelings and self-loathing.

This is what I have to work with when they come to me. So why do they take a chance on my out of the box system? Because I listen. I take whatever they say seriously and I help them unpack their regular chants of “it won’t work”, “i’m just lazy” or (fill in the blank) and find their coping mechanism.

Now for the micro-successes: They are so powerfully conditioned to expect to fail that I must find the smallest little daily successes that they can see, feel, experience and start to consider that their might be the tiniest possibility that things don’t have to end badly.

That is all I ask for at the beginning.

And when things fall to poop (which they will), if we have built up enough trust and some micro-succeses, the will learn how to deal, how to assess, how to learn and finally how to grow.

It works. I feel honored every time I watch the transition and they are always in charge of what we do.

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To check out Ken’s website for helping troubled teens and unmotivated millenials, click RealLifeCoaching.ca
Want more Ken Rabow articles? Click Real Life Coaching Blogs
To contact Ken for a Free 15 Minute Consultation Click Contact Ken
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Anxiety in Teens – A Parent’s Nightmare

Anxiety in teens: Case Study #3 – Why I Have So Much Anxiety Reason # 12


There is an epidemic of anxiety in teens these days.

Kid’s Statement: I never know what will trigger it but when the anxiety comes I lose all control and feel lost.
Fact: Most anxieties have specific triggers.
Question: How many attacks to you get?
Response: I’m always anxious. I get many attacks a day. I can have between four and six in a single class.
Ken: Are their times you can control them?
Client: Yes.
Ken: When and how.
Client: When they are not taking over. I can just calm myself down.
Ken: What is the range for your anxiety?
Client: My panic scale goes from 1 – 20. Up to six I can calm myself down. At 10, I’d stay home. 10 – 15 is a no man’s land. I’m a crying mess. At 20 I won’t remember saying or doing things. Over 10 I’m sort of out of control. Between 6 and 10 grounding exercises will help me snap back out of it.

Ken: What if I could show you a way to be anxiety free for one day a week?

Client: I would get anxiety without my anxiety.
Ken: That makes sense. Let’s find something that you would be OK having instead of anxiety. That let’s you feel safe. In command. And that you might prefer.

Result: Client now has two anxiety-free days a week, averaging two to three panic attacks on other days. Client goes above 9 once bi-weekly and the over-all scale is reducing in intensity. They are discovering that they can enjoy the healthy feelings they are choosing on the anxiety free day and have begun writing brilliant poetry.

Ken’s Comment: There is no way that this sort of issue  can be dealt with by close family members. It requires an outside life coach. Some might be too quick to medicate such a client. Although I am in favor of medication when required.  I do not appear that this client required it and in fact, they didn’t.

Case Study #5 – 11 Yr Old Client. Anxiety – 2 – 3 times per week

The setup for anxiety in teens and the way to avoid it.
4:00 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. My day off. I hear my cellphone (that I forgot to turn off during our family nap) make the sound it does when someone has left me a Skype text.

It’s Victor (not his real name). An amazing kid. 11 years old. Brilliant. Funny. Some coping issues and he is asking if he can talk to me. “Ken can I talk to you for a little later in the evening if you can I want to talk to someone about a fear and your the best person”. I have worked on these sorts of things many times before with older clients but never someone of this age. I pick up the phone and we talk.

Since he has been very young he has had this recurring fear.


A fear that comes back several times each year. Sometimes an event can trigger it. Sometimes it just seems to happen. On those terror-filled days and sleepless nights, his parents are helpless to release their child from his terrors. They keep building and nothing works.

We spent close to an hour on the phone. The client and I had worked on breathing exercises in the past. Visualization exercises were incorporated to help Victor focus his mind towards positive thoughts. We mixed those up with some simple talk about his fears. His concerns and how they felt in his body when they would begin to appear.

Speaking with someone new on this subject seemed to help him a bit and he asked if he could come in with his mom the next day and work on the issue.


On the next day I met with Victor one on one first. We worked on a breathing technique where he put one hand on his belly and another on his chest. I had him focus on having his belly move on the breath without having the chest move and to breath in on a count of five, hold the breath for a three count and then breath out on a count of five.

This had an immediate effect of letting him focus on something new.

(There is more to the intake as to why I knew that diverting his attention would work).

We then added EFT (Emotional freedom technique). I don’t use this on a regular basis, but I really like the idea of having Victor doing tapping, focusing on breathing, and stating affirmations based on what he really wanted to focus on and had been avoiding.

All this brought him to a more relaxed state. At this point we brought in his mom. We determined that Victor should suggest three things that his parents could do when he was anxious at night that would be helpful.

This avoided all the frustration on the parents part of trying different things that didn’t seem to work. It also avoided the frustration on Victor’s part of feeling that his parents were diminishing his concerns.

We now have a short-term and long-term method of dealing with this and so far things are improving.


None of what I am saying in this article is meant to be anything other than a case study and to show parents and young adults going through anxiety and anxiety in teens, that there are many ways to deal with these things.

New choices must be based on what works for the client. The big question is; are they visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. I find that a great deal of these people are kinesthetic and that is why something that they feel has to be used versus talk therapy to get them to change their “reality”.

I just want you to know that there are alternatives.

2017 – Ken Rabow update on anxiety in teens and young adults.


It’s hard to believe but four years later, even more parents are coming to me dealing with anxiety in teens.

It is hard to know why things are getting worse out there but here is the good news. Mentoring young adults, giving them a place to be heard and not be judged for the anxieties. Allowing them to slowly build up good coping strategies: breathing; visualizations; better communication; and being listened to really works reduce anxiety in teens and young adults.

The wonderful part is when you remind them when they have a once-in-a-blue-moon anxiety event, how it used to be every day. It’s a great moment when they realize how far they have come.

For more articles by Ken Rabow on anxiety, click here

For a free consultation about how Mentoring Young Adults can help with anxiety in teens and so much more, click here.

If you wish to know the pricing for our mentoring courses, click here.

Millenials, Save Yourselves With These Do’s and Don’ts

So, everything you were told was a lie.

You are not brilliant because you could play three strings on a guitar when you first picked it up. Your artwork really was just pieces of pasta, glue and paint… it wasn’t “just like Van Gogh”. It wasn’t the cutest thing when you first passed gas (or the last time in front of Grammie) and most importantly; doing what we did to get a job in 90’s now, will get you S.F.A unless being a barista and living in your parent’s basement is your idea of success. (Yes, I’m talking to you Bachelor in Social Anthropology)

Don’t you feel better now that all that is out of the way? And they wonder why you feel entitled, moody, depressed and full of anxiety.

I have some good news and some bad news

A lot of the Millenials really do act entitled and the amount of people in their 20’s who are barely coping with anxiety is friggin’ scary!

People in their 20’s tend to be “out of the box” thinkers. That means anything is possible if you look at life in different ways. Here are a list of 10 things that you should avoid and 10 things you should embrace. May the force be with you (I mean the Episode VII version, of course).

Don’t Do

10. Don’t settle for a job, waiting for your 76k a year position to fall in your lap… you’re not fooling anybody.
9. Don’t live with your parents. It’s soooo much easier but unless you are doing something to create your own future, you might as well make your own Spock ears and learn Klingon.
8. Don’t buy a crazy red BMW while living in said basement. You will have to bring whomever you pick up and date more than once to your basement, so unless you’ve done in your parents or they are working for Greenpeace with a long Russian layover, the car’s not fooling anybody.
7. Don’t sleep with everything that moves
. It really doesn’t help. Look at the Kardashians.
6. Don’t try to win friends and influence people by your bong-toking prowess
5. Don’t twerk. Just don’t.
4. Don’t measure yourself but how your successful friends live. They are doing the same thing and resenting the hell out of not being Justin Beiber. But seriously…
3. Don’t focus on your flaws. That’s your parent’s job.
2. Don’t make excuses. That’s Rob Ford’s job. (Remember him?)
1. Don’t give up, give in or run away.

Do do (Heh, I said “do do”.)

10. Do embrace your craziest inner passions. The things that you create that make you forget time when you are engaged in them. Yes, everyone will tell you that there is no money in it but money comes after all-consuming passion and mastery.
9. Do live with your parents! If you have a plan. If you do odd jobs to get the money to make your dreams come true. Just remember to act like a guest. Don’t make messes and show appreciation.
8. Do go after a crazy dream. Invest your time, your money and your heart in the thing you believe in with all of your heart and keep it to yourself until it is a done deal.
7. Do love everyone you meet. That’s easy if they are cool. But I also mean the loud ones, the rude ones, the annoying ones. Send them love (but keep a wide berth).
6. Do win friends and influence people. (Read the book)
5. Do not twerk. OK. I cheated, but it’s for your own good.
4. Do measure yourself in moment by moment micro-successes. Reading that extra article. Finishing that piece of music. Avoiding the extra treat. Cleaning one square foot of the floor in your room.
3. Do focus on your strengths. The ones you earn vs. your God-given talents.
2. Do own your mistakes. Admit them. Accept them. Embrace them. Frank Zappa and Miles Davis were geniuses partly because they weren’t afraid to mess up big.
1. Do not let your fears stop you. Take your passions, your talents, your earned accomplishments and make your dreams come true. Make them big. Make them crazy and don’t stop no matter what.

You are brilliant.
You are your own work of art.
But you must practice it.
Live it!
Be it!

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To check out Ken’s website for helping troubled teens and unmotivated millenials, click RealLifeCoaching.ca
Want more Ken Rabow articles? Click Real Life Coaching Blogs
To contact Ken for a Free 15 Minute Consultation Click Contact Ken
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Seven Ways to Turn Around Teen School Failure

We always have the best of intentions when we start a new school year. The past is left in the past. New books. New teachers. New attitude (not really). And then the first inklings arrive that things are not going as we hoped they might. This is a situation Ken deals with on a regular basis with his new clients. Learn the secrets to turning around a bad school year and starting to create success year-round! Just click below.

Click Here to Book a Free 15 Minute Consultation 

Communication, Gen Z and The Curse of Social Media

So, my iPhone 5 went on the fritz. 🙁
I called AppleCare and got a really professional, organized, thoughtful Cyberdonian who helped me. We did a diagnostic on the phone and it was clear it was fried 🙁 🙁 🙁

He was so helpful that towards end I told him about what I do for living. It was clear from the way he responded that something was bothering him. Considering the stellar service he had just given me, I said he could ask me any one question and that I would try to answer it for him.

He said: “I really wonder about my overuse and my friends overuse of social media. I feel like we don’t communicate anymore except through Facebook, texting, Etc.. Friendships have been ruined. I find it’s hard to keep friends and if I wanted to approach someone, Truthfully, I locked the confidence to do so.

I’m really not sure how we should approach one another. Especially if you want to go on a date. I’m not sure how I should ask her out. Text her? Facebook? (I notice he didn’t consider phoning her). I really believe that relationships are being ruined by social media and I’m not sure what to do about it. What should I do?”

So many people these days are commenting on the fact that teens and young adults really are losing the ability to know how to communicate in person with each other. What is more alarming is that when you going to a restaurant people of every age are sharing a meal while spending most of the time communicating with people that are not in the room.

I paused for a moment… and then I said to this vexed young man from AppleCare:
“you represent a great quality in Gen Z’s these days. You were searching and not accepting the status quo. I think social media is a great tool. But as with everything, things must be in moderation.

Before I talk about some things you could do to deal with the communication, I would suggest we talk about how to deal with the overuse of social media. I would recommend “micro-Sabbaths”, “mini-Sabbaths” and “major-Sabbaths” as a great starting point.

In my definition of “sabbath”, I am referring to the idea of break from everything electronic. No phones, no computers, no means electronic communications or electronic games.
A “micro-Sabbath” would be A 30 minute up to two hours a day of electronics free time.
A “mini-Sabbath” would be a 2 to 4 hour time period on a given day free of electronics.
A “major-Sabbath” would be A full day from waking up to sleep of electronic free time.

The next question is what to do with this time.

You could use it to read (I think they still make books).
You could use it to go for walks.
Paint. Play music. Sing. Dance.

… or you could practice an ancient ritual called…
communication.

Communicating with family, friends, business people and loved ones.
Communication is an art. The goal is to learn about someone’s passions, someone’s pleasures and someone’s peccadilloes. In short, Great communication should be about sharing one’s heart.

How do we do that?
Ask them a question about something that is important and meaningful to yourself.
Really listen to their answer. Try to understand their response from their perspective and share how that makes you feel.”

The gentleman from AppleCare and I were expected to converse on the simple and rudimentary level but upon seeing A fellow human being who cares and is searching I took the opportunity to communicate.

Here is my challenge to you.

Take one of these Micro sabbaths and tweet me how you used that time and I will share it with everyone I know and ask them to do the same.

Let’s see what happens.

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University – What NOT to Do

All right. Check out the pic. Don’t you feel left out?
Isn’t this what your secret dreams were of being on your own and making your own choices in University?

Let’s go over imagining what these people are about and how they are doing. (fictionally, of course… I don’t really know any of them). Now, I’m really against making snap judgments but… it’s soooo much fun… and educational too! 🙂

Toga guy. Misses a few classes … like September to November. Got some great old exams for the classes he was taking the day before exams. Passed out reading them the night before exams. Exams? Oops. Is it too late to drop the classes?

Miss Queen in Green. Always did well in school… before. Anxiety? A thing of the past… except she’s wondering if Toga guy is really gonna call and she may just sit by the phone for a week or two…

Peace sign guy. Quiet student. Always went to class. Did really well. Straight A’s in high school (where he was watched over day and night). Some part of him believes that by getting waisted every night and going to parties, he will end up having many, many conquests. So far, 15 trips to the infirmary for throat infections (too much deep kissing) and a solid “D” average.

Most of the people in this picture were probably doing fairly well in high school and are destined to mess up their first year of school something fierce. Some will have tried every thing they can think of to get back on track (until the next evening’s party) and start to feel “What’s the point? Nothing works.”

Others will try the following:

Organizational Skills:
It sounds simple and it is. But doing it when the proverbial poop has already hit the fan is much more challenging than starting these skills in high school. Having said that, I’ve seen many people who have had a troubling start in University turn their academic lives around by following a few simple rules.

1. Use a scheduler! It can be on your iPhone, Google calendar, a bunch of pieces of papers together by an alligator clip, or one of those old style spiral bound appointment books.
Once you write down what you were going to do each day (and I would start with just your courses, study periods, and anything else that you must go to) you can add realistic study times and make notes about when exams are and when papers are due.

2. Choose your party time wisely! There’s no one to impress now and no one to bargain with. It’s really up to you to figure out what are the good days to “let yourself go” and how much you should indulge, based on what is expected of you and the following days requirements. 


3. Learn from your mess ups and don’t give up! Even when you know what you’re supposed to do, you’re id is going to mess you up, just to see if you’ll give up and say “what’s the point, I’ll never get it right anyway”. Ignore that voice and just allow yourself the opportunity to learn and make mistakes determined that the next time you’ll get it right. If not then, then the time after that 🙂

The work I do with my clients is based on these ideas but goes into a lot more in depth. Whether it is me or someone else, the idea of a mentor who is based on action and not just talk therapy is the way to find your place and your power in the world.

Make it so!

Forget the great start… just finish it. The Challenge of Learning Challenges

There you are. At the starting line. The starter pistol cracks. All the others rush off and there you are… dead last. Starting slow, unsure of yourself and you don’t know if you’ll even make it. To make matters worse, you see all the other doing well and you ask yourself: “why?”. That’s how it can feel to have a learning challenge.

There is something to be said for just finishing the race. Start there. Walk. Run when you can. Ask for help only when you need it and be ok with falling or stumbling. Just get back up and keep going.

I mentor teens and young adults and so many have given up on or have dismissed. Each and every one of them has the potential for greatness. It may be in a small way or in a very big way. it is not for us to decide. It is for them to decide. My work and our work (their work with me for they are eventually in control of the process) is to keep them in the race and let them find their own footing.

Have faith. A good pillow to scream into and find someone who believes in you, will make you really work, call you on your bulls**t, and champion you when you earn it. Don’t let statistics throw  you off. Don’t let labels make you conform. Find someone who sees your child for what they can become and encourages them to strive to be their best.

The people I work with who are labeled with learning challenges have soared, once they have learned to focus on their strengths and create coping systems to rise above their challenges.

Anyone can succeed with some patience, determination and the right mentor for young adults.

Mental Health Issues in Teens and Young Adults

Facts About Mental Health In Our Youth
According to the US mental health commission, in any given year, one in five people in the Untied States experiences a mental health problem or illness. Only one in four children or youth who experience a mental health problem or illness report that they have sought and received services and treatment.

The Big Question(s) for Parents
The world today is label-happy. Go see a specialist with a troubled child and end up with a fixed diagnosis that may or may not be helpful. It can be the start of true healing or it can become a self-fulfilling label that limits the child’s beliefs and capabilities by thinking that this is all that they are. How do we help our children when they are suffering from what seems to be a mental health problem without stigmatizing them, getting them the help they need and the support they deserve?

There is Too Much Misinformation Out There.
The biggest danger is false or partial information. There are a lot of misconceptions and stigmas about mental health issues. They include but are not limited to:
1) understanding the illness in terms of the impact on the child and the family
2) medications – side effects, benefits and long term use
3) available treatments
4) advocating for your child
5) helping the patient gain insight on their illness
6) helping the patient be part of the healing process
7) how psychiatric forms work (should they be necessary).

The Big Answer for Parents
The big answer is that there are no big answers. We have to look at each individual client as their own person, free of the labels that some professionals would like to box them into. By looking at the total individual, we can come to an out-of-the-box way of seeing them and choosing the proper methods of creating a good mental health strategy. Starting them on a road towards their own successful lives, aware of but not limited by their conditions. With our life empowerment coaching added, you will also have ongoing support on this journey.

When you a ready to see if Mentoring Young Adults is the right step for you, click here.

Procrastination = perfectionism?

There are so many things that get in the way of a young person succeeding these days. But the last thing that they need to have get in their ways… is themselves. And get… That is exactly what so many people do. They stop themselves from succeeding before they get out of the gate… by procrastinating.

They have a lot of good reasons.
They range from
“I’m lazy!” to
“I don’t have a good system” to
“I’ll get to it soon” as well as the classic
“It’s not my fault”.

For a great many of these people, the real problem is they are afraid of failing. Even more so, they are afraid of not reaching their very high standards of perfectionism.

It’s not that they don’t care, it’s that they care too much and it cripples them.

Now that I know that, what do I do?

First, just decide to do five minutes a day of something that you need to do before you start video gaming or watching your shows or whatever you spend a great deal of your time on.

Tick it off on a daily chart so that you can see the days that you do this and slowly add a few more minutes every few days of success until you’re doing 30 to 45 minutes a day at that particular time.

Get into the habit of not judging what you were writing but understanding that: “there is no such thing as writing, only rewriting”. That means you’re not supposed to get it perfect the first, second, or even the third time. I have probably rewritten this simple article about 10 times before you get to see it.

The people I work with learn the whole process over a period of six months to free themselves from perfectionism. Even the very best of them have times when things throw them off and they go back to procrastinating (I have days like that too) but once you but once you have the system built in and you know it works, you can always make it work again and again. And it will always work.

How Do I Deal With My ANGER!

Anger in troubled teens and young adults is a huge issue these days. Is it more than other generations? That’s really not the issue if you are someone who has major anger issues. The real question is “how do I feel with not being heard!!!”

As in most things, anger issues are multi-factorial.
Any one, two or three things may push it up the heat thermometer, but it is the aggregate of 7’s, 8’s and more that bring you into the sphere of danger.

So how do we go from: “No! You’re not listening to me!!!” (for the one hundredth time) to smashed walls, kicked-in TV’s and worse? It is all about communication. If neither side feels like they are getting their message across and both sides feels they know what the other is going to say and you’ve heard it all before, then you are in a mobius loop of miserable mood.

Some suggestions for changing the dynamics and having a (sometimes) harmonious home:

Take turns being the listener or the speaker. Whichever you begin with, do the whole process before changing sides.

1) Listen without interruption. Listen with intention. Avoid any non-verbal cues that are anything but supportive. Your goal is to hear the speaker as if you have never heard them before or know their history.

2) Repeat back what you have heard in your own words. Do not add commentary. Ask if what you heard is correct and let the speaker correct or change as they choose and repeat back again their changes.

3) Empathize on how they feel. This is not about right or wrong. This is about hearing them and their point of view. The truth is, the gap between parents and children has never been greater thanks to the breakneck pace of change the world has entered.

4) Validate. Let them know how it makes sense how they would feel like they do coming from their state of mind.

This process should take place in an unregular place (like a basement couch, some chairs in the hallway; some place that you guys have never, ever yelled in.
This process should  be tried in calmer times, not when the proverbial poop hits the fan.
Expect it to take around 12 weeks to build the mutual listening skills.
Once it has taken hold, you can try a time out in a heated moment to try the system and if at first it doesn’t succeed, keep trying.

One final note (in case you hadn’t guessed)… in regards to this column’s title: you can control your anger. Start by learning to communicate with others. Start by making situations occur that allow you and the ones who you sometimes feel angry at to both get the chance to listen and be heard.

Want something? Give it. Want to be heard?

Listen.

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A Bully’s Inner World of Contempt

I remember when I first met Ricky (not his real name). He was a Grade 4 student in the school yard pushing and yelling with an aura of glee emanating from his face as the two Grade 5 kids (who were actually much larger than him) cowered, looking for a way to get out of Ricky’s sphere of influence.

I was the music specialist for grades 5 to 8 but was nonetheless required to do “yard duty” several times a week. I actually enjoyed seeing the kids interacting without the shackles of class rules and regulations to inhibit them. Usually this was a good thing. Today, I would be the “yard duty police.”

In my most resonant Alpha voice I said, “Ricky, what is going on here?” The question was innocent enough but the tone implied my judgment based on what I thought were clear and obvious facts. Ricky turned toward me, his victims took the opportunity to slip away and suddeny Ricky started weeping.

I tried to help him calm down and asked to him explain what was going on, but he was incapable of doing so at the time. It was only later I found out that Ricky had a series of sweeping emotional challenges. A bright kid who had control issues and major impulse problems.

Another Grade 4 student, Dominic (again not his real name), the Goliath of his group, had a tendency to physically bully anyone outside his circle of friends whenever the teachers were out of view. This was his group’s daily lunch activity (alongside basketball).

Dominic was always polite and respectful to me, yet, I wondered what his thoughts were as he said what was expected of him.

Both students’ parents had similarities as well as great differences. Ricky’s parents were caring, possibly overprotective and always searching for help from the teachers, yet seemed afraid to be rejected for asking of that help. Dominic’s parents (behemoths themselves) seemed to have an air of entitlement about them, yet cared deeply about their child.

I was new at recess duty and left the handling of discipline to others, but one thing was clear: calling attention to aggressive behaviour without judgement worked. Aggressing the aggressor (punishments, berating, etc.) would only bring more waves of aggression building up. I began to see this angst as a physical wave. When I would see either of these kids starting that wave (before it became actual aggression), I would ask them a few questions and have them help me understand a little about my upcoming students (they would be in my class the following year); their interests, their hobbies, etc. As luck would have it, Dominic played drums (as did I) and Ricky was a sophisticated fan of classic comedy (as am I).

I would take these moments to have them share and teach me their thoughts on these subjects and truthfully, I learned a great deal from their different perspectives. I also noticed that the cycle of those waves tended to not only reduce, but the whole yard seemed to have less waves growing.

In my work with troubled teens and young adults, it has become very clear that there is a strong theme of feeling disempowered. A great deal of my articles cover the various reasons, but I would suggest to parents and teachers that they start watching the waves of people acting out. Those waves are their inner worlds of contempt for themselves projected onto others. If you can catch the wave early enough, deflect them and encourage those kids to share their positive passions from a place of strength (letting them do the teaching), we may prevent those waves of angst from crashing down upon others.

As a side note, Ricky would turn out to be a fantastic student and would end up playing well at recess and Dominic is an amazing musician and became a defender of those being picked upon.

Rule #1 If you see bullying, do not confront. Simply ask: what is going on here?

Rule #2 If you have the option — engage young people prone to aggressive outbursts in positive uses of their energies before the wave crashes.

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The Teenage Mantra: What’s the Point of Doing This?

So, you’ve asked your teen for the 400th time to do whatever.

(It’s not like he/she’s actually heard what you said — your voice blends in with the background noise, mixing with the sound of text message alerts, video game soundtracks with the slurping sounds of friends drinking Big Gulps while armchair directing W.O.W.)

You scream in front of their “friends.” You’re yelled back at. Doors are slammed and just as the door is about to close, you hear the words: “What’s the point of doing this anyway?!”

The immortal call of the teen. Having been birthed in one of the James Dean movies (how did that turn out for him, again?) it is the modern cry of teenage angst. I guess a bigger question is: when did we become the old, crotchety guy in the cardigan saying, “What’s all this hoopla ’bout slicken yer hair back and yellin’ 23 skidoo?”

I seem to have mixed up my generational angsts.

Back to the 21st century: I was just Skyping with one of my younger clients, a bright, dynamic young lad of 14 who seemed to have the nervous habit of tapping continuously at his keyboard while we Skyped. When I occasionally asked why he was doing this, he responded; “I’m not doing anything! I just like to tap.”

This particular day, I must have said something that caught him off guard as he pressed the wrong button on his laptop and the sound of a snorting beast being zapped by a space ray filled the room. So there you have it, the moment of truth. There were so many ways this could go. I chose (as I usually do) left field.

(First, confirmation)
Me: So, you’ve been playing this game for the last six sessions while we’ve been Skyping?
Skeeter: Well, not all the time.
Me: Most of the time?
Skeeter: Yeah. Pretty much. It’s so addictive!
Me: I can understand that. But, you’ve been telling me that you weren’t doing anything, right?
Skeeter: Yeah.
Me: Can you see where I’d have a problem with that?
Skeeter: I guess.
Me: What do you think the problem with that is?
Skeeter: ‘Cause I was lying?
Me: And what’s wrong with lying?
Skeeter: It’s… Bad?
Me: Why is it bad?
Skeeter: I dunno.

(Time for left field)
Me: What do you know about Abraham Lincoln?
Skeeter: He looked weird, he became president. He got shot.
Me: True. Do you know anything about his life?
Skeeter: He looked weird, he became president. He got shot.
(Sigh)
Me: When Lincoln ran for president, he was an unknown and considered a “hick.” He was running against three of the greatest hopes for the presidency, yet it was he who prevailed.

One of the most powerful legal minds of the time, Edwin M.Stanton, wrote about the new president Lincoln’s governings as “the painful imbecility of Lincoln.”

Lincoln saw a greatness in Stanton that would help the country and brought him into Cabinet in January 1862, defending Stanton against all sorts of assaults by people who wanted him fired. Stanton was often difficult, but Lincoln took it all in stride. When Lincoln was assassinated, it was Stanton who said: “There lies the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen… Now he belongs to the ages.”

Lincoln was a man of great character that even his detractors could recognize.

(The Point?)

I’m not going to ask you every time if you are still playing that game anymore. I’m just going to ask you one thing.
Skeeter: What’s that?
Me: Do I have your word of honour that you won’t play the game while we work?
Skeeter: Yes.
Me: Longer, please.
Skeeter: Yes, I give you my word of honour.
Me: That’s all I need. I know I don’t have to worry about that again.
(And Skeeter never did play that game during our Skype sessions again).

So, why do I tell you this story?

Because there is no answer to “What’s the point of doing this?”

There is only the opportunity to find some way to challenge a young person to want to be a person of good character.

I don’t know why we almost never see that in the movies anymore.

I don’t know why we don’t champion that in daily life anymore.

But gosh darn it (he said, bringing the pipe to his mouth while dusting off the simulation tobacco from his cardigan) maybe it’s time we brought it back!

See you in the funny papers!